What are the ugly side about life? | James Foong

Article #10

A friend of mine who was a father of four, shared with me about his depression at work and family, showing tremendous signs of attempt suicides which I've observed through our conversation. I tried to calm him down and even seek professional consultation services for him. As I try my best effort to sum up the things he mentioned on what he is facing and a little about from my point of view. Perhaps, with these writing of mine can bring an insightful message to many who are reading it. Please bear with me, it will be a long one but a good read for some to seek the truth, the ugly truth.

1. Success is simply a series of failures to test your determination, passion, and persistence, but more importantly, to test your desire of how badly you want it.

2. When people cheer you on, don't rejoice. There are those who rejoice with you but there are also those who are dying to see your downfall.

3. No amount of self-help books, inspirational videos, and motivational seminars can change a person unless they’re willing to sacrifice all of their bad habits.

4. The majority of people are not living happily. They’re actually living other people’s lives and pretending that they’re living happily.

5. Nothing is permanent. Even the fire of a blissful love affair that started off as a fiery tale starts to dwindle as soon as it encounters the rough, unmerciful, patches of life. My dad used to tell me "when someone is in love, even fart smells better!"

6. When people tell you they love you, they’re not actually telling you. They’re telling themselves how much of a jerk they think you are.

7. Everybody is selfish to the extent that nobody will see their heart. However, if they suspect even for a moment that someone is looking into their heart, they’re able to pretend immediately that they’re not selfish.

8. For a strange reason, people are ashamed to talk about money. The real reason is that they unconsciously believe that money is a form of evil and so they’re scared that someone may ‘get them wrong’. The truth is that everybody is dying to have money.

9. There are shockingly very few people who genuinely love you. At number one is your mother because she bore the pain of bringing you into the world. Coming off at a distant second is your father whose seed played that crucial role of conceiving you.

10. Your portion of life is not what you currently have. It is what you are not willing to sacrifice for, to get what you could possibly have.

11. There is no “How To” book on life. Some of your friends are going to be doctors. Some engineers. Some teachers. Some professors and some will end up in jail. You cannot follow in anyone’s footsteps because you are not them and they are not you. You have to figure out what’s best for you on your own. Don’t do what your parents want or what your best friends think, and certainly not what you think it should be, but what it is. If I would have to follow what my mom wanted me to become after high school, surely I am not a sailor today!

12. Do not compare yourself with anyone. Comparing yourself with others is like comparing mangoes to oranges. Some people are just going to be more successful than you. Some people are going to be less successful. If there are a whole list of people that are better than you, there are certainly a whole list of people that are worse than you!

13. The brightest people in school are not likely to become the most successful people in real life. They are likely to become the most successful employees of the most successful people.

14. You don’t have to try out hard drugs, alcohol, or smoking to find out how they taste. Some things are better left where they are. Some things have the same consequences as putting your head on the highway in front of a speedy, oncoming truck and hoping that nothing will happen.

15. The worst enemies in your life will be disguised as your best friends. They will wait for their best moment to pounce on you when you least expect. Ever wondered who is spreading gossip about you?

16. Do not look for a ton of friends. For I myself do not have much close friends. I categories my friends as those who will pick up your call in the night for help or those who are considered "hello hello" friend. Look for a few friends that can correct you when you are wrong and warn you when they sense your downfall.

17. Academic education is only the first phase of education. Life education is the second phase. The third phase is when you think you know everything, but in reality, you know nothing.

18. Stop asking your parents for money or financial help and create a life for yourself. Your parents are eventually going to die. If you truly care about them start doing something for yourself while they’re still alive. In fact, ask them if they need any financial help; it will make them feel like you truly care and appreciate them!

19. Don’t be ashamed to use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Tumblr, whatever. It ain’t going away anytime soon, so you might as well get used to it and even love it. That's where ordinary people go to waster their time when they’re bored.

20. In life, nobody really cares about your dream. Nobody sees life exactly as you do. No one looks exactly like you on earth; so, remember if you fail, you only have yourself to blame. You are responsible for your own destiny.

So, among the 20 points above which one on the list does reminds you bit of the one you are facing now or before?

Words from a sailor,

"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.”

Some questions, nobody answers. There are questions that maybe, nobody knows the answer to. That is the closest answer I could think of at this time of writing.

Thank you for spending your time reading this.

James Foong

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