What type of man are you?

Are you a professional man or an amateur?

Why is it that some men seem to be hugely successful and achieve so much, while a majority slide subtlety (and silently) into middle age mediocrity?

The truth behind this truth could be impossible to quantify and I suspect that it would be difficult to arrive at an answer that would satisfy everyone, so I won’t try too.?

Instead, I’ll share two observations I’ve noted from my experience coaching men over the years.?

I’ve come to understand that two of the key differences between the men that recognise their potential and those that don’t scratch the surface of success to be mindset and habits.?

I’ll share these insights through a sporting lens in an attempt to make a clear distinction between the men that have leveraged their mindset and habits to ‘turn’ professional against those that reach a level of attainment that satisfies them but never truly fulfils them, the amateurs.

When you consider professional sportsman, men that have succeeded (sustainably) at the highest levels, who do you think of, Alyn Wyn Jones, David Beckham, Lewis Hamilton, Roger Federer?

Commonly between them all, fuelled by their mindset and underpinned by their habits is an intrinsic desire to succeed.?They are winners, on and off the field of play, they optimise life and they are the standard setters of the modern sporting age.

Conversely consider the amateurs, the people you knew from school or university days that were destined for greatness but never quite made it… What was it that prevented them from stepping up and reaching that next level; what held them back, why did they fade away?

From my work with clients and my appreciation of sport, I recognise that professionals, those men listed above play to win, whilst amateurs can become content with simply not losing 'the game'.

In the Art of War, author Steven Pressfield shares:

‘The difference between an amateur and a professional is in their habits. An amateur has amateur habits. A professional has professional habits. ?We can never free ourselves from habit. ?But we can replace bad habits with good ones.’

He goes on to say:

‘The amateur plays part-time. The professional plays full-time.?The amateur is a weekend warrior. The professional turns up seven days a week.’

What does your intuition, your gut tell you about how you’re living your life... Are you a weekend warrior, playing not to lose or are you showing up 7 days a week and playing to win?

To help you decide, here are 3 key differences I see separating amateur and professional men:

1.?????Amateurs wait to feel ready, they wait to feel motivated or until they are given permission to act. ?Professionals can ‘get out of their own way’, they don’t let their feelings dictate their actions.?Instead, they create and deliver against the plan with high levels of consistency.

2.?????Amateurs focus heavily on outcome and proving themselves to others; they seek quick wins and rely heavily on the validation of others.?Professionals are mentally prepared to play the long game, they focus on developing and practising the habits that will enable them to achieve their goals.

3.?????Amateurs believe their abilities are fixed, that they can either do something or they cannot.?They tend to attempt things that they know they can do well or win at.?Professionals focus on growth, they strive to improve.?They fully recognise the power of attitude and effort and see failure as an opportunity to improve.

Read them again…?

Hold the mirror up, what’s your truth?

Are you both! Perhaps you’re a professional in your work life but have adopted an amateurish attitude in your relationships and toward your wellbeing?

Did you know that pre-pandemic, the divorce rate of married couples in the UK sat typically at around 42%? ?During the pandemic, specifically between July and October 2020, leading law firm Stewarts logged a 122% in divorce enquires compared to the previous year.

Did you know that 1 in 5 UK adults feel a sense of shame because of their body image and that 22% of men negatively compare themselves to other more athletic men (Mental Health Foundation).?As a side note - a high percentage of my clients when we first start our work together state that they want to improve their health and or, body image.

The truth is that what we focus on develops and grows and equally so, what we neglect diminishes and dies.

If a professional neglects an area of his game, there’s a ripple of consequences that is later evident in his performance; the same truth is true for ‘us’ men.

To me, being a professional man means that you choose to 'turn up' in your life. Your mind is clear, calm and intentional. Your habits are purposeful and deliberate, they are paving the way for future life success. You are consciously spending your time, your effort and your energy doing or progressing toward the things you want and value most in your life.

You are committed.

You leverage the power of personal discipline to unlock your potential at home, in your relationships, in your health and in your career or business. You do what needs to be done and in doing so, you avoid allowing the things that shout the loudest in your life to distract you from the things you know are most important.

Take a moment to review your habits.

It doesn’t matter what type of man you find yourself to be right now, instead it matters most what type of man you intend to become.

If you’ve found this article useful, please engage by commenting or sharing.?

Thank you.

IMPORTANT

I'm now accepting applications for the 'Better Yourself' course.

It's a 9 week, highly impactful coaching course that's designed to make men better versions of themselves.

It’s for aspirational and motivated men who want to live life with greater purpose, energy and conviction and build the habits that will pave the way for future success in all arenas of life.

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