What type of defense mechanism(s) do you use on a daily basis? Are you aware?

Defense mechanisms are a part of our everyday life. People are not aware that every now and then, we tend to use a particular defense mechanism whether at work, in school, in the mall, the restaurant or even at home. Regardless if you are not a Freudian by philosophy or training, you've got to admit that there's something to be said for the idea that everyone engages in some form of self-deception at least some of the time.

The question is, can you detect the form of deception that you, your friends, colleagues, and family are using at any given moment?

In some areas of psychology, psychologists talk about “defense mechanisms,” or manners in which we behave or think in certain ways to better protect or “defend” ourselves. Defense mechanisms are one way of looking at how people distance themselves from a full awareness of unpleasant thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

COMMON DEFENSE MECHANISMS:

• Denial is the refusal to accept reality or fact, acting as if a painful event, thought or feeling did not exist. Many people use denial in their everyday lives to avoid dealing with painful feelings or areas of their life they don’t wish to admit. 

EXAMPLE : A person who is a functioning alcoholic will often simply deny they have a drinking problem, pointing to how well they function in their job and relationships.

• Regression is the reversion to an earlier stage of development in the face of unacceptable thoughts or impulses. 

EXAMPLE: An adult may regress when under a great deal of stress, refusing to leave their bed and engage in normal, everyday activities.

• Acting Out is performing an extreme behavior in order to express thoughts or feelings the person feels incapable of otherwise expressing.

EXAMPLE: Instead of saying, “I’m angry with you”, a person who acts out may instead throw a book at the person, or punch a hole through a wall. 

• Dissociation is when a person loses track of time and/or person, and instead finds another representation of their self in order to continue in the moment. A person who dissociates often loses track of time or themselves and their usual thought processes and memories. People who use dissociation often have a disconnected view of themselves in their world.

In this manner, a person who dissociates can “disconnect” from the real world for a time, and live in a different world that is not cluttered with thoughts, feelings or memories that are unbearable.

• Compartmentalization is a lesser form of dissociation, wherein parts of oneself are separated from awareness of other parts and behaving as if one had separate sets of values.

EXAMPLE: an honest person who cheats on their income tax return and keeps their two value systems distinct and un-integrated while remaining unconscious of the cognitive imbalance.

• Projection is the misattribution of a person’s undesired thoughts, feelings or impulses onto another person who does not have those thoughts, feelings or impulses. Projection is used especially when the thoughts are considered unacceptable for the person to express, or they feel completely ill at ease with having them.

EXAMPLE: a spouse may be angry at their husband for not listening, when in fact it is the angry spouse who does not listen.

• Reaction Formation is the converting of unwanted or dangerous thoughts, feelings or impulses into their opposites. 

EXAMPLE: a woman who is very angry with her boss and would like to quit her job may instead be overly kind and generous toward her boss and express a desire to keep working there forever. She is incapable of expressing the negative emotions of anger and unhappiness with her job, and instead becomes overly kind to publicly demonstrate her lack of anger and unhappiness.

• Repression is the unconscious blocking of unacceptable thoughts, feelings and impulses.“Repressed memories” are memories that have been unconsciously blocked from access or view.
• Displacement is the redirecting of thoughts feelings and impulses directed at one person or object, but taken out upon another person or object. People often use displacement when they cannot express their feelings in a safe manner to the person they are directed at.

EXAMPLE: a man who gets angry at his boss, but can’t express his anger to his boss for fear of being fired. He instead comes home and kicks the dog or starts an argument with his wife. The man is redirecting his anger from his boss to his dog or wife. 

• Intuallectualization is the overemphasis on thinking when confronted with an unacceptable impulse, situation or behavior without employing any emotions whatsoever to help mediate and place the thoughts into an emotional, human context.

EXAMPLE: a person who has just been given a terminal medical diagnosis, instead of expressing their sadness and grief, focuses instead on the details of all possible fruitless medical procedures.

• Undoing is the attempt to take back an unconscious behavior or thought that is unacceptable or hurtful. 

EXAMPLE: after realizing you just insulted your significant other unintentionally, you might spend then next hour praising their beauty, charm and intellect. By “undoing” the previous action, the person is attempting to counteract the damage done by the original comment, hoping the two will balance one another out.

• Sublimation is simply the channeling of unacceptable impulses, thoughts and emotions into more acceptable ones.

EXAMPLE: For instance, when a person has sexual impulses they would like not to act upon, they may instead focus on rigorous exercise. Refocusing such unacceptable or harmful impulses into productive use helps a person channel energy that otherwise would be lost or used in a manner that might cause the person more anxiety.

• Compensation is a process of psychologically counterbalancing perceived weaknesses by emphasizing strength in other arenas. By emphasizing and focusing on one’s strengths, a person is recognizing they cannot be strong at all things and in all areas in their lives. 

EXAMPLE: when a person says, “I may not know how to cook, but I can sure do the dishes!,” they’re trying to compensate for their lack of cooking skills by emphasizing their cleaning skills instead. 

• Assertiveness is the emphasis of a person’s needs or thoughts in a manner that is respectful, direct and firm. People who are assertive strike a balance where they speak up for themselves, express their opinions or needs in a respectful yet firm manner, and listen when they are being spoken to. Becoming more assertive is one of the most desired communication skills and helpful defense mechanisms most people want to learn, and would benefit in doing so.

Remember, defense mechanisms are most often learned behaviors, most of which we learned during childhood. That’s a good thing, because it means that, as an adult, you can choose to learn some new behaviors and new defense mechanisms that may be more beneficial to you in your life.

Source: www.psychcentral.com, www.psychologytoday.com,