What type or category are you when it comes to Conflict Resolution?

Have you ever been in a conflict situation?

If yes, have you ever considered taking a moment to reflect on your own approach to conflict?

Which type(s) do you find yourself leaning towards? Are there aspects of multiple types that resonate with you?

By gaining insight into your conflict resolution style, you can take proactive steps towards developing more effective strategies for navigating challenging situations. (of course, if you're not in any one of the categories, you're an enlightened, perfect individual ????)

1.???? Conflict averse/ avoid conflict: they don’t want to acknowledge that conflict exists. Like many alcoholics or substance abusers will tell you, this type is very hard to deal with. Their denial runs very deep. Communication or honesty is foreign language to them. Paralyzed by fear, they have no concept of self worth, which turns them into a victim, mentality of hopelessness and despair. Might internalize their feelings, leading up to pent-up frustration and resentment over time. Unresolved issues can simmer beneath the surface, which can potentially cause even bigger blow ups down the line.

2.???? Confrontational – attack/defend: they the other person as an enemy, and they have a war-like mentality. It’s a good mentality to win, temporary early and get your revenge or money or to destroy the other person. This type may be quick to blame others, criticize opposing viewpoints, and engage in aggressive behavior to assert dominance. This approach can create a hostile environment and may escalate conflicts rather than resolving them, because a sincere end to enmity is never achieved and the internal conflict is likely to continue to eternity…

3.???? Conciliator – Accommodator: As you can guess, the conciliator prioritizes maintaining peace and harmony (within the group), often at the expense of their own needs and desires – which can cause resentment over time if they feel taken advantage of or overlooked. It’s based on fear, insecurity, and they don’t take responsibility for the problem they are facing even though on the surface they might appear as if they did. Deep down, they are usually angry, and silently are convinced of their own rightness. They are passively hostile.

4.???? Righteous Standstill: They may feel overwhelmed by the complexity of the situation or paralyzed by indecision, leading to a state of inertia where nothing gets resolved. They hang onto being right, stubbornly maintain their positions and they feel validated by knowing they are right, even if the conflict never gets resolved – including not even seeing the opponent ever again.

5.???? Oppressor: The oppressor embodies a dominant and controlling approach to conflict, seeking to exert power and authority over others to maintain their own sense of superiority. This type may employ tactics such as intimidation, manipulation, or coercion to suppress dissenting opinions and enforce compliance with their own agenda. May exploit their position of authority to silence dissent and maintain control.

I used to be the mix of the first three, as a result of years of abuse in my childhood by my stepmother.

Later it showed up as rage – which scared me because I didn’t want to get in trouble with the law.

Then it came to a peak – when it threatened my own marriage – so I got outside help. Studied psychology, as well as different methods to overcome my own issues and with the help neuroplasticity, EQ, PQ and other modalities, now I’m all for a WIN-WIN solution. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean I can’t get angry if you push me into a corner. I’m still human. But most of my triggers are gone and my rage is gone as well.

Now I prefer to put a smile on people’s faces by helping them resolve their own conflicts. ??????

Take a moment and think about which category resonates with you. Also, if you discover that your style isn't perfect, make a plan and a decision how you're going to handle the next time you find yourself under attack.

Happy Resolving!

Warmest regards:

Teri