What Truly Matters to You !!

What Truly Matters to You !!

What truly matters to you? What principles guide your decisions and shape your life? If you’ve ever felt unsure about a big decision or wondered why some things light you up while others leave you feeling drained, the answer might lie in your core values. These aren’t just nice-sounding words or abstract ideals; they are the non-negotiable principles that define who you are and serve as your inner compass. When you're living in alignment with your core values, everything feels right. When you're not, it can feel like you're swimming against the current.

Today, we’re going to dig deep into identifying your core values and exploring how they influence your life, your relationships, and your ability to navigate challenges.

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Why Core Values Matter

Your core values are the foundation of everything—how you act, react, make decisions, and form relationships. Think of them as the operating system of your life: when it runs smoothly, you feel in sync with yourself and the world around you. When it's misaligned, things get glitchy.

Here’s why they matter:

  • Authentic Decision-Making: When you're clear on your values, decision-making becomes a lot easier. For instance, if one of your core values is honesty, you'll naturally gravitate toward decisions that reflect transparency, even if they’re tough or unpopular.
  • Building Stronger Relationships: Shared values are the glue that holds relationships together. Whether it's personal or professional, knowing your core values helps you attract like-minded people who resonate with your beliefs. Think of it as a filter that ensures you’re building connections with people who align with your true self.
  • Navigating Life’s Challenges: Life is full of tough moments—whether it's a career dilemma, a relationship issue, or a personal crossroads. When you know your core values, they act as your internal North Star, guiding you through the storm.
  • Living with Purpose: Ultimately, core values help us lead a life of meaning and fulfillment. When your daily actions reflect your deepest values, you feel a sense of purpose, direction, and accomplishment that’s hard to find otherwise.


How to Identify Your Core Values

Let’s move beyond general feel-good advice and get into the nitty-gritty of identifying what your core values are. These steps are designed to give you clarity and ensure you’re not just choosing values that sound good, but ones that truly resonate with your core self.

Step 1: Reflect on Peak Experiences

Think about the moments in your life where you felt the most alive, fulfilled, or proud of yourself. These are called peak experiences, and they’re usually a window into your core values. For example, if you felt immense pride after helping a friend in need, one of your core values might be compassion.

Specific question to ask yourself: When have I felt the most fulfilled or “in flow”? What values were I honoring during those times?

Step 2: Identify What Makes You Angry or Upset

On the flip side, what frustrates you deeply? Often, we get upset when a core value is violated. For instance, if dishonesty really gets under your skin, it’s likely that integrity is a major value for you.

Specific question to ask: What situations make me feel the most frustrated or disappointed? What core value is being violated?

Step 3: Consider Your Role Models

Who do you admire and why? Whether it’s a mentor, public figure, or even a fictional character, the traits you admire in others often reflect your own values.

Specific question to ask: What qualities in other people do I respect or wish to embody myself?

Step 4: Explore a List of Values

Sometimes it helps to start with a list of potential values to get your ideas flowing. Here are a few examples: Authenticity, Creativity, Freedom, Growth, Kindness, Leadership, Integrity, Accountability, Adventure. Take your time to explore which ones resonate with you and why.

Specific action: Write down any value that stands out to you without overthinking. Then, narrow the list to 3-5 values that you feel truly reflect your inner self.

Step 5: Prioritize Your Values

Not all values carry the same weight. Once you’ve identified a list of 3-5 potential values, rank them in order of importance. This forces you to clarify which values are truly non-negotiable. For example, authenticity might be more important than ambition, or compassion may rank higher than creativity.

Specific action: Create a list of your top 3 values, and for each, write down why it’s important to you and how you can live that value daily.


Living in Alignment with Your Core Values

Knowing your core values is one thing—living by them is another. It requires mindfulness, consistency, and sometimes tough choices. But the rewards are enormous.

Here’s how you can live more authentically:

  • Use Them as a Filter for Decisions: When faced with a decision, ask yourself, Does this align with my core values? For instance, if freedom is a core value, you might reconsider taking on commitments that feel restrictive or confining.
  • Set Boundaries Based on Your Values: If integrity is a top value, you’ll need to set clear boundaries around honesty in both personal and professional relationships. This might mean saying no to situations where you feel pressured to compromise your honesty or authenticity.
  • Find Work That Reflects Your Values: If growth is a key value, a job that offers learning and development opportunities will feel far more fulfilling than one that is stagnant, regardless of salary. Aligning your career with your values can lead to long-term satisfaction and success.
  • Check in Regularly: Your values may shift slightly over time as you grow and evolve, so it’s important to revisit them occasionally. Make sure they still resonate with who you are today, not just who you were five years ago.


A Word of Caution: Values vs. Aspirations

It’s easy to confuse aspirational values with core values. Aspirational values are those we wish to embody but don’t necessarily live by yet. Core values, on the other hand, are the ones we already honor in our daily lives. Be honest with yourself during this process—there’s nothing wrong with having aspirational values, but for the sake of clarity, focus on identifying the values that truly define who you are right now.


Putting It All Together

Identifying and living by your core values isn’t a one-time exercise; it’s an ongoing process of self-discovery, growth, and alignment. By understanding what truly matters to you, you can make more authentic choices, build stronger relationships, and create a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling.

So, what are you waiting for? Start your journey of self-discovery today and unlock the power of your core values!


Key Takeaways:

  1. Core values are your inner compass—guiding every decision, action, and relationship.
  2. Identify your values by reflecting on your peak experiences, frustrations, and role models.
  3. Prioritize your top 3-5 values and use them to guide your daily life, decisions, and relationships.
  4. Living in alignment with your values leads to a more purposeful, authentic, and fulfilling life.


By taking the time to reflect and identify your core values, you’re not just uncovering what’s important—you’re unlocking the blueprint to a life filled with meaning, purpose, and fulfillment.


That was just it for today....

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