What Traveling Taught Me About Comfort Zones and Culture Shock

“Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all of one’s lifetime.”

– Mark Twain

It’s holiday season again and there’s no better time to talk about travel, so here we go!

Given my recent history of globetrotting, I guess you could call me footloose, but things weren’t always this way. Travel has been a more recent obsession of mine, for the many life lessons it has taught me and the empathy it’s helped me build, towards myself and humanity at large. So much so that I still fondly remember my first trip abroad, and what even the trivialities of the trip taught me!

For a small-town boy from a middle-class family, travel is never on the cards.

And international travel? I didn’t even consider it a possibility.

That didn’t stop me from dreaming about it, though. Always curious, I watched every Hollywood movie I could get my hands on, fascinated by this orderly, busy, skyscraper-filled country that spoke with a drawl, used super cool machines, and ate alien food. In my head, the world outside my own life was what I saw in those movies - a place of ease and luxury, devoid of the schoolyard bullies that sometimes plagued my existence, where love, excitement, and adventure were all legitimately worth pursuing.

Source: Jesse Hall Ski Base

All I wanted was to go out there and see it all.

But my typical Indian upbringing didn’t allow for anything more than focussing on schoolwork and getting a stable job. Which I did.

How Indian Vacations Work (Or Don’t!)

The only travelling I’d done was vacations with my family.

The typical Indian vacation, as I remember it now, is hiring a van or piling into a bus with baskets of food my mother had woken up early to prepare, heading to a tourist spot (maybe a waterfall or hilltop or monument, the more crowded the better), joining all the other tourists in picnic-ing there, leaving our plastic and paper waste behind, ruining the beauty of the spot we’d actually come to see, and then packing up and going home, satisfied that we’d seen something that day.

Jusreign sums it up perfectly.

On getting the job and working hard for years, I was given the chance to travel for business, and I jumped at the opportunity.

I was excited to cross the borders of my country for the first time, but more than a little anxious. I’d dreamed of this for so long, but what did I really know of how to conduct myself in a different place? What did I know of how to travel, how to be accepted, how to find my bearings?

I swallowed my apprehensions and went anyway, though, and what I have learned while travelling since then has given me the communication skills and cultural awareness that I bank on every day as a People Leader.

“Wait, How Do I Cross The Road?”

Sounds.. Obvious, I know. But it’s a thing.

As far as culture shock went, it was the practicalities that I had the most trouble with. None of the movies and TV shows I’d watched had any information on how to cross their roads!

Source: capl.washjef.edu

I remember standing on the side of a busy junction for minutes on end, wondering why the cars never stopped. I was used to seeing the traffic light turn red in India. More than that, though, I was used to walking out onto the road even when the light was green, and seeing cars slow down for me, because if there’s one rule of the Indian road, it’s that the pedestrian is always the victim.

Here, the cars just didn’t stop, and the light took much longer to turn green.

What I did next is something that I’ve adopted as a tactic to deal with any situation that makes me feel a little lost.

I swallowed my pride and asked a stupid question.

When an American lady passed by, my first instinct was to wait and watch how she’d do it. But something about it felt wrong, because this wasn’t a long term solution. If I really wanted to learn how to navigate this new country, I realized no question is basic enough for me to start. So I asked her, and she was MORE than happy (and not amused at all!) to help me out.

This little trick helped me several more times through my trip, with everything from finding my way to the office for the first time to figuring out how to fill my soda cup in a Subway.

I’m not alone here. Steve Jobs elaborates more on the power of asking here, and why people who ask for things are far more likely to succeed than those who don’t.

In one particular instance, when I was on my way to the office for the first time, I was dropped at the wrong building. It was pouring, and I had no idea how to get to the right place. If I’d been treated with disdain at any point prior to that, I might have hesitated to ask for help.

But everyone had been so kind to me since I’d arrived that I came right out and asked a security guard to help me, and before I knew it I was in a little truck, being given a ride to the office.

People Respond When You Really Reach Out!

It’s scary to travel to a new country for the first time.

Any first, any leap into a new and strange environment, can induce quite a bit of anxiety.

I was fighting the internal stereotypes that I carried about myself and my roots, and the external stereotypes that my American colleagues assumed of all Indians. These weren’t malicious assumptions, just FYI. They were simply born of a harmless ignorance.

I remember being offered “yoghurt and rice” because the Indian liaisons who were working there before me would only eat that (curd rice is a South Indian staple). What I felt when they offered me this was a deep sense of gratitude. Sure, I was going to be a little more adventurous than the previous liaison, but just in case I wasn’t, the fact that they’d gone out of their way to organise a lunch that I would be comfortable with was so heartwarming.

I remember pleasant, hilarious expressions of surprise when I ordered a steak and a glass of dark beer at dinner. When they realised I couldn’t wait to try American food, they went all out to make it a feast!

It taught me that people take great pleasure in introducing others to their culture, and that the best thing you could do is jump right in and immerse yourself completely. Trust me, you’ll make friends (and memories) for life!

I Learnt To Love Diversity (And India)(And Pakistan!)

Going abroad for the first time showed me the importance of tolerance, how to assimilate myself into a new culture quickly, and how to love my own country.

It is when you are far from home that you gain the perspective to see it for what it truly is. It has its flaws, yes, but my country is filled with earnest, skilled, hardworking people. The kindness that I experienced in the US was so similar to the kindness that I was used to back home.

Every monument that I saw in the US made me miss the beauty of Indian architecture. This new country that had been so good to me was a cleaner, more organised version of my own, and mine had better street food. What’s not to love?

No hot dog can beat the mouthwatering heaven-food that is pav bhaji.

I also learned hard and fast that the “American Dream” is, in reality, just a country that really understands dignity of labour, a country with people who work hard, take pride in their work, and respect punctuality. There’s so much openness and positive aggression to get things done.

The most helpful person I met on the trip was a pleasant brown cab driver who went out of his way to chat with me and gave me tips to get around town. He even insisted (after I politely refused) that he’d carry my heavy bags up to the hotel room and eventually did. I attributed his helpful nature to my assumption that he was an Indian. It was a big surprise for me to learn that he was Pakistani!

Decades of campy Bollywood movies with Pakistani villains had painted a very different picture of their citizens in my head, and this one instance wiped the slate clean. I discovered my brothers across the border.

I learned to trust my gut and to adapt quickly to new situations. Several of my workplace behaviours were built then, like knowing when to hang back and watch, and when to jump in and engage.

What struck me most, though, and what I rediscover every time I plunge into any new situation, was how terrified I was just before I left my comfort zone, and once I had, how surprisingly easy it was to find comfort in all the newness.

And That’s A Wrap!

My takeaways from my first travel experience include gains and losses.

I gained a deeper understanding of what makes us all similar, and what sets each of us apart. We are all driven by similar passions and fears. I picked up life hacks that have served me well in the ensuing years. I saw how a devotion to cleanliness can transform an entire country, and how an adherence to punctuality can make sure everything from a business meeting to a subway train run smoothly. I also found a strong and abiding love for forging new friendships.

I lost any biases that I was previously labouring under. I overcame stereotypes. I ditched almost every assumption I’d made about America.

I count myself as very lucky. The first time I travelled to a new country, I had no bad experiences. It might not be that way for everyone.

But speaking from solely from my own experience, I can say without a single doubt, that that first trip gave me more in terms of people skills and confidence than anything else in my life ever has.