What is Trauma Bonding?
Parul Shah MSP, RSW, CCPA (Doctoral Candidate)
Founder, Owner & Psychotherapist of Embracing Empowerment Counselling Services /Creator, Owner and Co-Facilitator of Empowering First Responder Families Peer Support Group? and Empowering Lens? .
An attachment to one that was created through repetitive abuse ( emotional, physical, sexual, financial, childhood ) trauma. Which can be taught that this is the only way for attachment .
Trauma bond keeps one from leaving toxic or abusive relationships.
Trauma bond is very real and survivors often struggle with Complexity of PTSD.
So what are the signs of trauma bonding in an abusive relationship — what you say to yourself to justify the abuse:
They didn’t mean to get angry, it was my fault.
They put up with me and still loves me.
They had a terrible childhood, I feel sorry for them.
I can help them to change with love and support.
They deserve a fair go, they don’t mean to hurt me.
How to stop trauma bond:
Always take your time to get to know someone, find out their past. Remember trust us earned not automatically given.
Never jump straight in because it feels good.
Red flags are very real. Take a listen and examine them .
Ensure you can be respected for your boundaries (say no). Make sure what you see is what you really get, no hidden truths that come out later.
Be careful that you are not being sold a charming person to reel you in and hook you.
Be careful when all the ex-partners are crazy, nothing is their fault, or they’re the victim.
Be aware if you feel they’re too good to be true or make you feel amazing.
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