What are three things for a happier life?

It was early September. I along with my team was wrapping up a psychological first aid intervention for a corporate house. It was a massive course being attended by more than seven hundred fifty people from different countries. Since it was a virtual program, I was not able to answer everyone’s queries. Once the program was over, I stumbled upon one unread message in the chat box. It read something like this; ‘I am Judy, I am 34-year-old. For the last 18 months, since this pandemic, I have been feeling empty, bored, and isolated. Even though I keep myself busy with household work, I feel useless. My life has become meaningless without any motivation. Every day I follow the same routine and now after a year and half that routine has become a rut. Please help.”

I could not ignore the message. Because that text had a tinge of helplessness, and the choice of words was crying for strategies & solutions. I texted back and Judy shared her side story in detail. She showed her interest & commitment to go for a coaching intervention and I accepted her as a coachee. After a detailed discussion, we scheduled four coaching sessions: one each weekend. All sessions were followed up by assignments, results, and review. Those reflective reviews were insightful for Judy. After four weeks of measuring, monitoring, reflecting, and reviewing, Judy found her life to be useful, meaningful, and motivating.

How did Judy do that? What changes did she bring to her life? Did she start something new? Did she stop something? Yes, it was a bouquet of resolutions and reformations. In the first week of our coaching session Judy was able to design the goals for the next three sessions. She decided to inculcate three new habits in her life. She agreed to give at least a week to each of her new habits so that she could practice & strengthen it thoroughly. Let’s look at Judy’s journey week by week.

First week: ‘Me’ Time

Judy decided to allocate some time every day to something she can enjoy doing solo. That would be her ‘Me’ time such as listening to music, reading a book, meditating etc. Judy was not rigid about the timings; still she decided to be protective about her ‘Me’ time. For the entire week Judy could successfully adhere to her ‘Me’ time. She started feeling liberated, she felt recharged and refreshed. Now onwards the ‘Me’ time would be part of her daily life.

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Second week: ‘We’ Time

In the second week Judy felt more energetic and enthusiastic. So, she decided to create some ‘We’ time such as joining a cycling group, watching a movie with people she likes, going for coffee with friends etc. During this entire week, Judy’s social life got a boost. She felt like belonging to people, no longer lonelier. These ‘We’ activities filled Judy with a sense of togetherness and gave her a break from her tightly packed routine life.

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Third week: ‘You’ Time

‘You’ time is exclusively dedicated to other people, their concerns, their worries, their happiness, and their solutions. Judy started volunteering for social causes in her community. She visited elderly at an old age home, children at an orphanage and spent time with them. She could also help them in some or the other way. Judy started helping some of her neighbors with errands such as going for groceries, filling up insurance forms etc. After doing so for a week, Judy found herself to be useful. She no longer felt useless; her life was no longer empty. There were many people in her life, and she was happy that she could be of some help to them. This gave a lot of meaning and motivation to Judy.

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So, the essence of the coaching intervention that transformed Judy, can be summed up in three categories. Here are the top three secrets to repurpose your life:

1.??????‘Me’ Time

2.?????‘We’ Time

3.?????‘You’ Time

Published earlier in the newspaper tabloid "The Desert Trail"