What Is In It For Them?

"When we focus on others, our world expands." Daniel Goleman

The lesson I learned at my first job was that I should stop focusing on what I will get from work and focus instead on what I can give. That was revolutionary for me. It changed everything for me. It helped me get promoted faster. After seven months at work, I was earning what others who have spent two years working in the company were earning. I had a secret sauce.

If you want to change your world, focus on yourself. However, if you want to change the world, focus on others.

This became more entrenched when I became a student and practitioner of design thinking. Empathy and observation became a skill I needed more to enhance the job of focusing on what others need. Rather than ask what someone will do for me, I ask what I can do for them. In every relationship I get into, I always ask this question: what value can I bring to make them better.

I created a whole coaching program out of this question which I called Value Giver Coach. Here are the people who helped me develop this concept:

John C Maxwell – taught me that making connections is all about the other person not me. The deeper the connection, the deeper the impact I will make in people’s lives.

Bob Burg – taught me that my true worth is not based on what I get or do for myself but the value I bring to others.

Jim Rohn – taught me that the best investment I can make in the future is to always focus on giving more value to others than I receive from them.

Bob Chapman – taught me that success is focusing on enriching the lives of others and not just my life.

Joe Polish – taught me that the best way to build rapport with people is to focus on what I can do for them. Joe Polish released his newest book, What Is In It For Them? You can order his book here.

The Value Giver Way is all about focusing on what others want and not what you want. I apply this wherever I work. I hardly focus on what I will be paid but rather on the contributions I will make to make my employer better. When you focus on yourself, your world gets smaller. However, when you focus on others and how to add value to them, your world gets bigger and better.

Research has shown that employees have three prime needs: interesting work, feeling they matter and being recognized for doing a good job. Employers who will succeed should focus on what their employees need while employees who will succeed in the workplace need to focus on what their employers need.

We will all have all that we want if we will just focus on helping others get what they want. The Go-Giver law of Influence sums it up: Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first. Because the best gift you can give anyone is yourself.

The more you are growing, the more you will focus on the needs and interests of others. However, when you see people who are self-centered and concerned only about themselves and what they can get out of a relationship, they are not growing. Growth makes us more spiritual. Spiritual people are focused on others.

When I meet people I easily get to know what kind of mindset they have by who they focus on. When people focus on themselves and their needs, it shows they have a scarcity mindset. They are competitive. They see the world as a zero-sum game. However, when the person focuses on others and how to help them with their needs, I see someone with an abundance mindset. They are collaborative and always seek win-win in every relationship. They are always the first to give value.

As a Value Giver, always ask yourself what you can bring into every relationship you are going into.