What temperature is your conflict?

Behind the scenes I get a ton of questions with respect to conflict resolution...

?Clients present me with their situation, and then ask questions like...

?What can be done?

?How long is it going to take?

?Can it be resolved?

As a Coach working with executives & teams, I always wish to for the best results, But I also understand...

?? People are complex

?? You can't impose your will on others and expect good results

Unfortunately, not every conflict can be resolved... not every relationship can be saved... And there's many factors that play a part.

So, it doesn't matter what outcome I want, What matters is the needs, wants and willingness of each individual.

Here's 3 factors to determine when considering IF, WHEN, and HOW to head into conflict resolution.

1?? Are the parties open to discussion and resolution?

It's important to be curious and ask questions to understand what each party wants from the situation.

? What is the desired outcome?

? What would the resolution of the problem look like for them?

Without willingness, there is no option to move forward. Pushing it forward could result in more conflict.

2?? Is trust possible?

Trust enables a real conversation to tackle the real issues (rather than the topics).

You must determine if it's possible to build enough trust so that the parties feel safe to come to show up to the table and communicate openly.

If you facilitate a discussion where no one is willing to be somewhat honest and transparent, the resolution you think you have is only surface. The conflict remains hidden and will show you it's ugly head at the next little trigger.

Trust is built over time... So, here's your gauge to determine when... When enough trust exists.

3?? What temperature is your conflict?

How individuals navigate their emotions will impact the temperature of the conflict.

?? Hot Conflict happens when emotions are high and even explosive.

?? Cold Conflict happens when emotions are being suppressed and resentment grows.

Both are a problem, since neither will allow a constructive conversation.

Emotions drive people's behavior.

So, we need to bring enough awareness to the emotions to consider them in the plan...

but not so much so that it spirals out control and creates more conflict.

You can work with the individuals to either warm it up, or cool it down.

Then you can consider bringing them together, With a clear intention and goal... (Again, only if you have willingness and trust present)

?? If the conflict is on the hot side... Set up a more controlled setting with ground rules about speaking / listening. Then you can lead with carefully selected questions.

?? If the conflict is on the cooler side... Create an opportunity for the individuals to get comfortable and find commonalities with each other (psychological safety first). Then set up a dialogue explore their differences, clarify false assumptions and lead them through the transformation process.

? Caution... Cold conflict can quickly escalate to burning hot if the suppressed emotions blow up. Warming up beforehand is extremely important. Be ready for anything.

Ultimately, the goal is to build a bridge and create new options for the all around win.

An effective team is not without conflict. Emotions tell us something important about the situation/environment. Conflict actually creates opportunities to improve processes and grow business.

If this was helpful and you want to know how to create opportunities to improve processes and grow business through conflict? Book your consultation with the In Charge Coaching team today.

PS: drop me your takeaway below! I’d love to hear!!

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