WHAT TO TALK?

Once I told my relative’s husband, to develop a bond with his son, by spending some time talking to him. After half an hour, the boy went to his mother and said, “Why is this dad talking to me. For the past half an hour he is talking about how he got full mark in his 7th, how he got 90 in his 8th and so on. If he has to beat his own drum, why he is calling me to talk?” He ran out angry, and from that day started disappearing when his father wanted to talk to him.

This is just an example. But except a very few parents, most of them find it difficult, to talk to their children, as they don’t know how to engage them, in a conversation. ?The present time is not like earlier days, where the man of the house used to return by 6.00 PM. Parents, sometime, both of them return home very late, first work and then long travels.? Rarely, they have dinner together, as the kids finishes their dinner, and are busy with their homework.

When the kids reach their teenage suddenly, they show a behavioural change, anger, tantrum, back answer etc and the school or the councillors advise, the parents to spend time with them, or talk to them. Now the question is how?

Basically, you should develop a strong bonds with your, children, even when they are five or six years old. Whatever be your tight schedule of work, remember, you are working hard, only to earn for your kids, and they should love and listen to you. ?However late it may be in the day, try to play simple games like finding out the word etc and keep praising your kid when he wins.? Never ask him about his studies or homework, but talk in general about school games etc. If you are talking about yourself, always talk about the things you goofed up, or some foolish things which happened. If you can’t remember one, then cook up one. Then you see how your kid will open up, and talk everything which happened in his class, including his mistakes.

But if you had not developed your bonding early, then when they have become teens, don’t try to dictate about everything, as their food habits, their clothes etc.? As for as possible, try to find their brighter side, and praise them. This is the first step to gain their confidence.

Treat them as some grown-ups, and once in a while ask them for a solution, of your problem in work. You can express your worry, as how one of your junior staff, is always delaying work, and finally you have to take the responsibility of him too. Surprisingly, your son may tell you how you can deal with that imaginary staff who is giving you a problem. Keep asking their suggestion, how to improve the Wi- FI connection or how can you reduce the heavy electric bill.

?On holidays, try spending time in the Kitchen, family as a whole. Try to cut some vegetable, cook something mild, and encourage the kids also to do the work. This will increase the interaction, and a warmth of relation will come out. Ask your kids, to help you with your PC or cell phone, if you are stuck or pretend to be stuck.

All this may be a little tiresome, for you parents. But this 2 or 3 years your bonding will pay you rich dividend. Your kids will not go astray. They will not look for sympathy or love outside the family and thus get drawn into the clutches of bad habits, especially when drugs etc had percolated into the schools too. Even entering a crime is considered as a challenge and a thrill and few get trapped in them too.

Please remember, having a child is the greatest blessing God has given to them. Don’t just earn money, and get them comforts of life, but in place of building up your bank- balnce develop strong bonding with your kids. Once their teenage is over, you can spend more time to earn money, which now you can enjoy too.

Start thinking seriously from today, this minute, how to build a strong bonding with your kids.

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