It is what it is?-?A tale on perfectionism!

Perfectionism is a topic that has gained a lot of traction these past few years, mostly because people are finally starting to recognize its harmful effects and side effects.

If you are a creative, a solopreneur, or a coach, you know that the thoughts of being perfect run deep in your mind.

You sometimes might even wake up after a nightmare on how the project you were working on was slightly askew or deformed or it was missing that one thing that would have made it perfect. And the nightmare is on the level of you waking up in your underpants in the middle of rush hour in high school. And you wake up thinking that the project you are supposed to showcase has to be perfect, otherwise it will lead to embarrassment and shame.

The thing is we all try to chase perfectionism… and in doing that we get obsessed with the idea of it all… But more on that later. This article is my humble attempt on showing you how perfectionism can lead to burnout.

So… Are you ready?

What is perfectionism?

If you are reading this article, I am pretty sure that you are not new to the concept of perfectionism. Here’s what the dictionary has to say about perfectionism.

Perfectionism is a personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that demands perfection and rejects anything less.

It is this need, neh, this standard that either pushes us to success or to failure… Or so the society and your inner critic hopes for you to believe.

Getting worked up over perfectionism

Has this ever happened to you? You were super excited about a project and then suddenly the thought of whether it was perfect or not grabs a hold of your mind.

With time, upon reflection, you realize that your focus changed from you being excited about your work/project to you worrying about whether it was perfect or not.

It is this mentality or focus shift that causes people to start getting worked up over perfectionism, leading to obsessing over it.

And guess what? It is also the cause of burnout.

You might also notice some self-sabotaging behaviors during this time like -

1. Losing sleep
2. Getting Irritated or angry at your loved ones and yourself
3. Wondering why you are such a failure in life and can’t do this one thing right

(Add meme about you had one job)

These behaviors or signs often occur when you chase perfectionism and it leads to burnout.

Plus the thing about burnouts is that all these self-sabotaging behaviors are taken up a notch as you progress through burnout!

The more you worry about perfectionism as you work your way through burnout, the more negative thoughts and self-sabotaging behaviors build upon you… This creates an infinity loop that feeds off of each other with no break in sight.

Why do we chase perfectionism?

A lot of times creatives, solopreneurs, and coaches that start creating and working extremely long hours “perfecting” their work often do it because -

1. Unsure if their content resonates with people
2. Know that there are many experts in your field and are not sure of your worth.
3. Have high standards for your work because you are finally doing the thing you love and you have to do it right before you hit publish!
4. They have to prove their worth to the world!
5. They believe that it is a part of their personality… If it is not perfect, it is not right!

There can be an entire list of reasons around why we chase perfectionism, a list big enough to become an entire article of its own. So here’s what we can do. You can let me know in the comments down below as to why you chase perfectionism.

Understanding the psychology of perfectionism

There are two concepts when one takes a deeper dive into the psychology of perfectionism — Perfectionism Concerns and Perfectionism Striving.

Now there are negative effects of both of these concepts, but the effect of one far outweighs the effects of the other.

Perfectionism Concerns

This is when we strive for perfection as described by society. This is when we are more worried about how society might judge us.

We react negatively to imperfection and are anxious about taking any step towards improvement.

Any action is built around the idea of whether it is socially approved, they doubt their own creations and are worried about fitting into the template that society has created for us.

The thing is we don’t even realize that we are behaving like this because of our fear of society.

Perfectionism Striving

This is when we strive for perfection based on personal standards. It is often self-oriented perfectionism, and we are constantly trying to improve for excellence or growth.

The thing is while Perfectionism Concerns are rooted deep in our minds and are much more difficult to change, Perfectionism Striving is a blessing in disguise.

It is easier to start changing from within than it is to change society’s perception of how we are supposed to live.

While Perfectionism Concerns feeds Perfectionism Striving, if we look at it carefully, there is a loophole to exit this cycle.

If our focus is more internal the results are better. Choosing to focus on your work and growth immediately ensures that we try to grow ourselves rather than hinder our journey towards improvement.

Read the next point to see how you can change your perception.

Perfectionism mindset — Can you change your perception of perfectionism?

So… is perfectionism the key to growth or a doorway that leads to a dead-end?

If you have been in the game long enough, you know that chasing perfectionism is equivalent to going on a wild goose chase.

If you think you have reached/found the perfect solution and stop thinking about new ways to develop it, you will be stuck in a place, much like the sleeping rabbit, and will very quickly be overtaken by a slow turtle that continued to evolve, slowly but efficiently!

So… can we change?

I think mindset often feels deep-rooted and it feels like there is no escaping it. However, like many things in life… It is all about perception.

If you change your perception, you change your mindset.

Start to view perfectionism as a stepping stone to your future. Make it a reason to improve and to grow rather than a dead-end that doesn’t lead you anywhere!

Perfection is not set in stone — It is constantly changing

We have all been or are a part of that phase in our life where everything has to be perfect. We have burned through many midnight lamps in the hopes to create perfectionism… But what does perfectionism even mean? What do you think of when you think of perfectionism?

Before you answer that… I want you to answer what you thought of being the ultimate form of perfection a few years ago? Is it still the same or has it changed?

Heck, even this meme… you know the one, keeps changing because the definition of perfection is different for everyone!

I feel that one of the biggest reasons we are so obsessed with the idea of perfectionism is because we HAVE to create the perfect content, the perfect design, the perfect logo…

Otherwise, people are going to judge you, your work, and your worth.

So what’s the best thing to do? To keep your work under covers and hidden from the world because it might be perfect yet!

No!!! That’s not the answer. This just hinders your growth. Plus it adds to the stress of creating the perfect thing, which might lead to anxiety, depression, anger, and eventual burnout because you have set your sights on a tall tall mountain while you are inside a pit.

You need to remember something. You won’t grow when you are not creating, receiving criticism, receiving acknowledgments, when you are hiding your work.

Let me give you an example of what I am trying to say. Once I finish writing this article on perfectionism, I might think — Damn Madhurima. You really outdid yourself this time! This article is perfect.

However, the second I hit publish, I will start to find faults and end up in a loop of editing and making things right and perfect. As I said, the meaning of perfection keeps changing… so what are we even chasing? Society’s approval? A question to ponder on, huh?

A good way to overcome or break this loop is to remember that your work is not set in stone. If you ever wish to redo the way you presented a particular situation, you can always do it again!

And guess what? That is one of the biggest signs of growth!

Wabi-Sabi

Let’s talk about this ancient Japanese practice!

Every single time I spoke about perfectionism or how there is beauty in imperfections, someone kept bringing up Wabi-Sabi. I eventually decided to understand what this means!

Wabi basically means recognizing the fact there is beauty in humble simplicity, in rustic simplicity.

Sabi depicts the passage of time and how beauty stems from age.

Wabi-Sabi together tries to tell you about the beauty of imperfections.

There is no point in chasing perfectionism cause it doesn’t exist. Everything that is a part of nature will change, will age, or grow. Nothing remains constant. And there is a depth to this statement, so I will say it again.

Let this sink in — Nothing in nature remains constant.

In nature, there is no perfectionism. The concept does not exist, because nature views everything that is a part of it as beautiful. Nothing is damaged, nothing is horrid or ruined…

It is what it is.

— — — — — — — — — —

I hope that this article helps you realize that chasing perfectionism is pretty weird. It can be good, if you see it as a stepping stone, and can be negative if you are obsessing and chasing the concept of perfectionism.

So, my question to you is… how are you perceiving perfectionism? Let me know in the comments below!

Also if this article resonated with you, share it with your network! I would love to hear as many people’s perceptions on this as possible. Reach out to me on Instagram and let me know your thoughts!