What is Success? For 'YOU' that is...

What is success? This is an intriguing but a common question many of us grapple with. I too have been thinking about it for some time now… Lately, I’ve realized I had been asking the wrong question itself.. The right question is What Is Success For Me? It is immaterial to compare it with someone else, everyone has a different life, everyone has a different story. Now, I am not talking about success in exams or a competition or yearly targets in your company or a business etc… It’s not about winning a game or small battles… It’s about winning the war that is life… your life! This thought is still evolving and I may be able to justify a few points.. I may be wrong at some.. hopefully with the passage of time and more wrinkles on my face, I’ll gain more wisdom to correct them. For now… I thought to jot down some of my thoughts around Success, what it means to me and may be it helps some of you arrive at a direction to find and define yours! Well, all along this post, I’ll toggle between me, you and we… not-withstanding the grammar (or the punctuation, it does not matter frankly as long as you hear... me, you and we.. it all means the same for this post!)

Let me take you to your childhood… It starts when you were young.. Imagine your 4 year old self.. you are just 4 years into this new life... you enjoy the little things in this world here… the colours, the voices, the birds, the smells, the rising sun, the seasons.. spring, summer, winter, your mom, dad, everything!.. this life is so exciting and fun.. you are not worried about how you look.. there is no rich or poor, no black or white (no brown either.. ha!).. life is full of miracles, what a great entry into this world… All excited and pumped up eh!

Then you enter the school system, and all the fun is systematically squeezed out of you to make sure that certain kind of you emerges out of it (the same best that this system is designed to make everyone out of.. the way it defines best).. and you know what.. only a few make it to the top here.. they get characterised as the cream.. then some become creme de la creme! competition sets in here… In fact over a period of time, we humans have procreated so much that the success defining opportunities of the world have not kept pace with it (this year 1 Million+ young bloods appeared for IIT JEE entrance exam… for the uninitiated IITs are the highest ranked engineering colleges in India, you know how many seats? ONLY 11279!.. 1 out of 100 who appear gets through (*Disclaimer.. I am an IIT graduate… decade and a half back).

Well, meritocracy has its place in the system and I am not saying or asking anyone to remove or replace the current system of education.. unless a more evolved one is brought into place (which is badly needed).. I am raising questions and saying that, at some point in time in life.. one realises.. it does not matter much.. it does not matter if you went to an IIT (or MIT or whatever!) or not! Really.. so many of those who have been 'successful' in the world have not been from these.. they had not been among those brilliant so-to-speak students who topped their classes.. it does not matter in the end.. everyone gets by, and many way way better! Few dollars less (or more)… a fewer set of clothes in the cupboard less or more.. How does it matter.

It does not end here.. It just starts actually! Then you entered the earning market! AND it’s a race like nothing you had ever imagined! Mad rush for numbers, money… No I am not just taking about a job! Even your own business.. it is not much different (believe me, I have experienced both sides of it).. there are successful people again who you start idolising.. those big guys who made it big in the system in this world.. that guy who gets a multi million dollar (or whatever currency again!) pay cheque, cars, house, etc. etc. the works! You also get married here, become a parent.. responsibilities come in.. loans, emis, payments.. this money business is just such an addictive circle (We Indians calls it Maya Jaal.. a web of mystery cloud that surrounds you and never leaves). Let me add more.. Politics, Stress, Blood Pressure Blah Blah Blah!

You forget the feeling of water splashing on to you while you take the morning bath.. those chirping birds vanish away… far away in your thoughts of to do lists of the day.. the tensions of life.. the same car that made you so happy when you drove it out of the showroom.. now becomes an office commute and frustrating traffic screws up rest of the fun! How many times do you enjoy that sun rise? That puff of morning air? Day goes by in work.. you are working to make ends meet (what ends meet in the end? We all will die anyways) Nights are no different.. Day's tension has already ebbed your energy.. you eat, and hit the sack! Dead.. ready to relive the same ordeal again next morning. What about those who you valued most in life.. Your true love who you married and who is now your wife and mother of your kids.. how much time do you spend with her? How much of her life do you know? What about your kid? being groomed by maids at home (if you both work that is)? Whose consciousness is getting passed on to your kid (s)? What about your old parents?

Now in all this sameness of day to day.. Life actually is passing by very uniquely for you.. Different opportunities come your way.. not necessarily at the same time for others.. events happen in your life.. not the same way they happen to others.. you sometimes succeed in situations that happen to you, your own endeavours.. sometimes you fail.. you hit the ground you get up.. learn a lot.. learnings that are unique to you… different set of unique people (see your family, no one else have them), experiences come your way.. You develop some peculiar likes, dislikes, you are different from others.. all through… a different blend… and the thing is you try to play the game of uniqueness by the yardsticks and rules of sameness.

Then, in one eerie silence of a night this hits you hard in your face! What are you becoming? What is this mad race for success? What is your goal? What is the purpose? What is the essence of your existence? You go back to your most honest self inside and ask this question.. What makes you happy? How are you defined by success? How do you define success for yourself? What is Success for you? Are you there? Where do you want to reach? What for? Who are you? Why are you here? Where are you going? 

I am not saying I have all the answers, or I have absolutely realised the successful me who you can copy paste (you can’t! you see, everyone is unique, in this examination called life, everyone has a different question paper ;)).. Essentially, what I am saying is, the successful me (or you or we) is so unique, its unit is one.. its unit is ‘YOU’... Don’t look into someone else’s mirror to define your success.. Don’t find benchmarks externally to define yourself and the successful you… Find what will make your truest and most honest inner self say.. Lovely! Well done! That is your true potential! Or that will make you die in peace! What will you have achieved today or have had a life around you like if you were to die tonight! If you have this answer, you are in the right direction.. keep going..

If you find what you are doing currently not in sync with that inner voice.. change it! Keep searching till you find that right path… This life is too short for regrets (150K+ of us humans wont see tomorrow’s morning). So be brave.. Flush those sameness defining benchmarks down the drain! And find yourself! If you believe your true north is serving the poor.. go ahead and do it.. if you believe, its about starting up and building a great place to work for lovely souls! Go ahead and do it.. If you think success for you is coming back home, watching and teaching your kids grow well, spending quality time with your wife and family.. do that! why are you wasting that time elsewhere? I am saying whatever it is.. It is unique to you.. That success you define for yourself! No one can define it for you..

That is when you will again start loving the colours, the voices, the birds, the morning sun.. everything.. it will come back again! You’ll be that successful child.. Again! 

Good Luck and Welcome to the Journey Called ‘YOUR LIFE’! May God Speed be With You!