What success mean to you, what is your WHY ?

I like to share with you a poem “The Rich Man and The Beggar” from Michel Neil book “Super Coach”

?Many years ago, a man was sitting in quiet contemplation by a riverbank when he was disturbed by a beggar from the local village.

Where is the stone? The beggar demanded. I must have the precious stone!

Man smiled up at him. What stone do you need?

“I had a dream” the beggar answered, barely able to slow his words enough to speak and in that dream a voice told me that if I went to the riverbank, I would find a man who would give me a precious stone that would end my poverty forever.

The man looked thoughtful, then reached into his bag and pulled out a large diamond.

“I wonder if this is the stone?”?he said kindly. “I found it on the path. If you’d like it, you may certainly have it”

The beggar couldn’t believe his luck, and he snatched the stone and ran back to the village before the man could change his mind.

One year later, the beggar, now dressed in clothes of a wealthy man, came back to the riverbank in search of his anonymous benefactor.

“You have returned my friend, “said the man, who was again sitting in his favorite spot annoying the peaceful flow of the water before him. “What has happened?”

The beggar humbled himself before the man. “Many wonderful things have happened to me because of the diamond you gave me so graciously. I have become wealthy, found a wife, and bought a home. I’m now able to give employment to others and to do what I want, when I want, whit whoever I want.

“So why have you returned?” asked the man.

“Please, the beggar said. “Teach me whatever it is inside of you that allowed you to give me that stone so freely”

This is a beautiful poem that 100% reflect outer trappings of success. Constantly chasing for more and living in fear of losing never enjoying the present moment always going after bigger and better things, titles , positions trying to fill the empty space inside living in scarcity that there is not enough and something may happen and you will lose everything.

This are outer trappings of success majority of people fall into. ?People on the death bad never say I wish I could work longer hours, I wish I could do things more perfectly, I wish my house was perfectly clean all they regret I wish I was more present with my kids and my spouse, I wish I spend more time doing what I love, I wish I could love more and give more. I wish I lived life on my terms with no scarcity of losing.

See this is how majority of people trapped in scarcity good things happens to them and they want more because they are scarred that they may lose everything, or they never even try to go for more or what they want because they fear that they will lose what they have.

Success it is not destination it is enjoying your journey and taking small steps everyday towards your goal. It is living by your highest values not comparing yourself to others, not judging, not exaggerating yourself, just living by your highest values and speaking your truth. It is understanding how you use the power of your brain and your mind to work with you and not against you. It is understanding how to identify stressors, limiting beliefs, fixed mindsets and move to growth mindset to your zone of genius.

See there is two types of people

People who is living in their own shadows or shadows of someone else - they usually find same people gather together and complaint, judge, blame, play victim of circumstance this is majority of people!

And then there is another small group of people who “Has it all” they come together and regardless their current circumstances they look for ideas, they have vision, they are fearless of losing because they have abundance mindset even if they have $5 on their bank account.

Living in scarcity means you have imbalanced perception you see only onside of the situation you either perceive everything is good or everything is bad. This is living in your primitive brain Amygdala that only wants you do three things, fight, run and hide, so you run like “Hamster in a wheel” feeling separation, trying harder to get what you want and never living to your full potential

There is nothing to fear but the fear itself!

On the other side when your perception is balanced your heart is open and your heart communicates with your brain in many different ways :

Neurologically (though transmission of nerves impulses)

Biochemically (hormones, neurotransmitters)

Biophysically (Through pressure waves)

Energetically (through electromagnetic field)

When you heart is open energy moves freely to your brain and it shut down your primitive emotional reaction brain and connects to your executive brain so now your neocortex scans all other parts of the brain and extracts the information you need to make objective, balanced decision.

Your brain doesn’t perceive that you are in danger or that there is scarcity of possibility of losing something. You can deal with most stressful and unpleasant situations coming from the place of gratitude and love knowing, trusting, and believing that everything is available to you!

We all can live in abundance there is no lack in anything we are experiencing not the reality but our beliefs and our thoughts and our beliefs are not based on logic they are based on our feelings!

Feelings are the most real thing we have as humans. When we are aware of them, accept them without judgment extract the information they carry and then we take action based on how we want to feel?about certain people, situations then unpleasant feelings goes away we connect to our heart and we start to create our life by design not by default!

However, when we don’t, when there is something to suppress things go haywire! It’s not a problem of understanding, logic it is problem of suppressed and repressed emotions.

It is not about denying reality, On the contrary it’s about facing our old, and left with feelings with clarity and self-compassion and then using our grown-up rational mind to say I see you, I hear you I understand you.

See here is example I have just recently talked to someone so that person lives constantly on “Fight Flight “responses and perceives that this is just the way life is, it is hard work and suffering. So this person had scans that showed that their parasympathetic nervous system is over reactive this happens not because they meditate all day (they never meditate) it is not common that parasympathetic is overactive but when this happens the system gets stuck in the “on “position and the person is overstimulated and unable to calm. Anxiety, hyperactivity, panic, anger will occur. This is quite dangerous because it can lead many neurological disorders.

Said all of this, this person is so stuck in their “Fight or Flight” responses that they ignore the feelings and use their 5% of conscious mind “Positive Thinking” pretending that everything is fine.

Here is the thing you can ignore what is happening and pretend with positive thinking that everything is good, but your body will never lie! It just can’t and it designed to live in homeostatic state.

Now think of your body as simply feedback machine that is informing your brain if there is peace or danger. Think about it this way when you hurt yourself for example you heart your knee our cut your finger, first you feel pain in the body then message travels to your brain your brain checks in with the body and sends more corresponding messages emotions and hormones back to your brain. So next time you are going to pay attention not to cut yourself because it hurts.

Now it is exactly the same with feelings , if you feel butterflies in your stomach, or pressure in your chest, knot in your throat and you ignore them trying to eat chocolate, work more, exercise more, drink, watch more Netflix or TV whatever is your coping mechanism , this feeling is just trying to tell you that somewhere you are out of balance, out of integrity like when you cut your finger and that you need to stop and find out what is causing that feeling because there thought pattern attached to that feeling.

?And when you keep ignoring like that person saying that everything is rosy with positive thinking, but body tells the opposite then simply one day you will get cancer, autoimmune condition, stoke, allergies. Nature doesn’t care nature loves balance! And you may even die. It is the same if you cut your finger and it is bleeding, but you would be saying “it’s ok” I’m going to eat more chocolate and bleeding will stop, or I will just work more, and bleeding will stop.

See why positive thinking itself never works!

This is why it is so important to not just been aware of emotions but understand them and take action!

I’m going to finish it with “Midlife Crisis” like we often call them but are they really Midlife Crisis?

The truth is there is no such thing as “Midlife Crisis” simply by the age of 35 you are hardwired box of the past memorized emotional experience. So if you perceive you have “Midlife Crisis” you are not experiencing reality as it is you are experiencing your beliefs and your beliefs becomes your thoughts, your thoughts becomes your words and your words becomes your feeling that create your reality .

See intellectually we are 30,40,50 but majority of people because of lack of understanding emotionally they are still as a little boy or a little girl with unmet needs and has nothing to do with “Midlife” crisis ??

Our conscious mind is fully developed by late 20th so then by the age of 35 you are a box of hardwired memorized subconscious programs, learned perceptions and beliefs from your teachers, parents, caregivers and your intuition is trying to pull you back to your true self, so now you are experiencing cognitive dissonance between what you want consciously and your memorized subconscious behaviors.

And because that’s the subconscious mind which is you autonomic nervous system 95% of who you are that rules your life, not your conscious mind, you start to feel more separation between what you have and what you want, you are feeling empty, unfulfilled, frustrated, angry, judgmental the list goes on . Just forever trying harder and harder! Until you get burned out, exhausted or sick!

When your heart is shut down you don’t trust – that means you don’t believe. So, the energy of lack (emotions) which are anger, frustration, disappointment, vulnerability, judgment because you perceive that you are missing something, you are judging that you haven’t loved, that energy is stuck in your lower body energy centers and can’t make its way to the heart. Your heart communicates with your brain in many different ways so then it means there is no energy in the brain to create, to think differently your Neo Cortex, your CEO brain is shut down and your Amygdala “Fight or Flight “ response is happily running your life !

See if your needs as a child which are Love, Safety, Connection, Significance, Celebration hasn’t been met and you tried so hard to get your spouse or even your kids to fulfill them and it didn’t happen because it can’t work ( Remember this happens subconsciously?not consciously) no one is responsible to fulfill your unmet needs they can only amplify your needs of what you already have!

Because our mind is hardwired to stay in familiar and makes you to created different coping mechanisms such as overeating, drinking, over exercising, overworking, different types of OCD because your mind is hardwired with the belief, I have to control things outside of me, because I have no control over what is happing inside of me. I’m controlling out there and it makes me feel better!

This doesn’t need to be this way

Book a FREE call this is what I do I help you to understand how-to live-in congruence with your highest values in life, our EQ is far more important than our IQ, I will help you to use your EQ so you can access your IQ to live happy, fulfilled, and healthy life. Once you understand how your brain and mind works you can master your life! And think of your kids you have unconsciously preprogrammed them with your habits and behavior patterns.

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