What is success?

I skipped dates and parties to study. I asked lots of questions and attended every tutor time my professor held.

Even though it's the worst grade I ever received, I’ve never been so happy to receive a passing grade.

[Pretty sure my professor took pity on me].

I was lost, and felt like I didn’t belong (because I didn’t), and vowed to NEVER put myself into that position again.

Imagine my surprise when I felt like I didn't belong (again) just 1 year into my legal career.

A career I’d wanted since I was 10.

A career I’d gone into debt for.

A career everyone else seemed to think I was destined for.

What did I do?

I did what most high-achievers do in this situation: I doubled down to work even harder...Until I couldn’t do that anymore.

What I finally realized was I did belong. My problem was how I thought of success.

How Do You Define Success?

What I’ve learned over the years is that success isn't just about your achievements. Or what others think of you. Nor is it represented by what's in your bank account.

Those things are byproducts of hard work.

But how do you feel about yourself, your accomplishments, and where you are? How do you feel about WHO you are?

That's more telling when it comes to true success.

Success starts from within; it's created from the inside-out.?Here are my four pillars for how to do that:

#1: Rewire your mind.

What and how you think impacts pretty much everything (from how you feel to your day-to-day decisions - and everything in between).

And it's impossible to see feel good about yourself or make the impact you want when in a place of overthinking, emotional exhaustion and/or stress.

Which is why your mindset is your starting point.

This pillar is all about reframing your thoughts, taming your inner critical voice and retraining your mind to be more present and open.

#2: Reconnect to what brings you purpose.

As a high-achiever, it's easy to start climbing the ladder placed in front of you. You want to please others and do your best. But it's also easy to get disconnected from the things that make you uniquely you when doing that.

Your values are your inner compass and your strengths are the things you do well and enjoy (especially when using them for the benefit of others).

If you're not feeling very content or fulfilled, it's time to reconnect to both so you can see where the gap is and identify how to start making changes for the better.

They're also your guide for your next two pillars.

#3: Redefine success and balance.

Instead of defining success based purely on achievements, redefine it based on your own values. And start measuring your success primarily based on your input (not the output).

You only have control over you. Focus on input and you'll feel much better about whatever output you get. The good news is your input will get even better (which will reap better output too).

And stop thinking of balance as though it's a see-saw with your professional life on one side and your personal life on the other. That's not reasonable nor possible (life is more nuanced than that).

Balance is more about how you feel. Are you content with yourself and how you're showing up?

The good news is - by rethinking success and measuring it based on input - you'll start to feel more balanced too.

#4: Realign around your priorities.

Something isn't a priority merely because you've said it is. You must DO the hard things necessary to actually prioritize it.

That means setting and enforcing boundaries (and also standards for yourself). And yes, it WILL mean saying no upon occasion.

The good news is this piece is easier once you've tackled the three pillars before it.

To go even deeper into my framework and learn more about how to use it for yourself, listen to Episode 107 of the Life & Law Podcast >>>here.

XO,

Heather

P.S. What was the class that gave me so much trouble? Astronomy. Given how much I struggled with physics in high school, I should have known better.