What Stops You Getting Better?
The two previous articles outlined the model to improve your performance, in any capacity. This one will address:
Blockages to Performance
The three main areas of the internal conversation, which prevent improvement or stop performance are interrelated, but not necessarily consistent. Indeed, one may feature one time and not the next. All down to the multitude of discussions taking place, influenced by other current factors or external circumstances.
Focus!!!!!!!
A most common inhibitor of performance is Focus or more accurately-over focus. Additional pressure and attention to focus, stops thinking due to extra negative thoughts, as you become hyper vigilant to threats.
Much more helpful to stay in the moment, be aware rather than wired.
One of my pet hates, is to see a coach/teacher or parent shouting, veins standing out on their necks ... FOCUS!!!!!! You couldn’t offer a worst piece of advice.
Explanation - Usually generated by the urge to help, but even said calmly, it reinforces the sense of threat or danger.
Survival Mode
If not already, they will soon be in survival mode.
Brain effectively shuts down, as it’s already preprogrammed to fight, run or freeze. Cognitive ability slows down even further (Conscious mind processes 40-50 bits of information a second, while the subconscious is able to deal with up to 11.000.000...yes 11million!!) as one attempts to concentrate.
Can you remember any sporting or other ‘meltdown’? Watch their eyes, see how furiously they try to do something simple. Their expressions of disbelief says it all!!!!
Fear and Ego
Fear and Ego are both sides of the same coin.
Steve Peters Chimp Paradox puts the quandary best.
The Chimp only interprets information using feelings and impressions, then employs emotional thinking to form a plan of action. Unfortunately, the Chimp seeks out security unrealistically, but is prone to paranoia. Everything is black and white, any potential scenario is quickly escalated to catastrophic proportions.
Set against any possible nightmare images, are the overriding requirements of the herd/troop.
Your Chimp must please everybody, prove themselves all of the time, everything is important and they must not fail!!!
A pretty high bar indeed.
Oh, and don’t forget 80% of all thoughts are negative.
Fear
When the pressure is on, one is constantly drawn to memories of what went wrong in the past. Won’t recall that great time when it all went to plan, with glorious pictures of total success.
No... only indelible images of massive cock ups, when it all went horrendously wrong. Gets even better, those scenarios will be embellished, in case you can’t recollect how disastrous they were.
To make you respond to the threat, more significant thoughts intrude... none of them good. The more you try to block them out, the more your subconscious makes you think them.
Catch 22, if there was ever one?
Ego
But, worry not oh valiant one... Ego to the rescue, or at least the Chimp.
No negative thoughts, you are egged on to try the impossible, only glory beckons.
You can do it... the Chimp encourages.
Everyone... absolutely everyone is watching.
Unfortunately, fear still has that unshakable grip on your mind and will not let you fully concentrate or focus. Over-focus of course, is permissible.
See you’re already ahead of me. The result isn’t good... in fact, total failure.
Is the Chimp sympathetic? Of course not, it was all your fault and you’ve shown US up!!
Just can’t win.
You may have heard the term ‘Misery is never an Orphan’?
In this case, misery has two siblings- Limiting Beliefs and Comfort Zone.
Limiting Beliefs
Everyone has belief systems, inculcated over a lifetime. Primary purpose is to protect but, they can compromise our safety and wellbeing.
Even worse, these beliefs may not even be our own!!
So where do they come from?
Parents, teachers and key opinion influencers-certainly our peer group. This is of particular significance to teenagers and young adults, who are overly prone to worry about what their friends think of them.
Most successfully, they put limits on ambition!!
Think of any? Here’s a couple-
“Money doesn’t grow on trees”
“Nobody from this family ever went to university”
Could go on, but you get the picture.
Also applies to any situation you want to improve. It’s a defence mechanism, even sabotage in certain circumstances. Always seems to be the ‘tail ender’ in any self talk, accompanied by a drop in energy in your whole demeanour.
“Who am I kidding” “Could never do that, not good enough ” “I haven’t got that shot, skill, ability, experience etc, etc, etc”
Sound familiar?
The survival instinct gives the perception that resources and opportunities are extremely limited, as the subconscious attempts to keep you safe; plus our good friend-negative bias is hard at work.
Imposter Syndrome
To make matters worse, there is Imposter Syndrome, which results in great anxiety, particularly when the stakes are high.
A psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments, with a persistent internalised fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’.
Often considered mental failing or irrationality on the part of the sufferer; but for many their situation makes it quite rational to think that way.
It’s much more common than you think.
Often wondered why I wasn’t rumbled as a Chief?
Fully expected someone to come into the office and say “Come on Doyley... Chief Fire Officer... you’re just a scally from Manchester who got expelled from school?”
Seriously!!
Limiting Beliefs act as your walls... we now move on to the floor and ceiling of your most comfortable box.
Comfort Zone
Insidious and debilitating, your comfort zone keeps you precisely where you are.
No need for concern, it’s cosy. Continue to delude yourself as long as you want... eternity even. Why shouldn’t you stay comfortable?
If you start to really perform, you’ll have to do it more often. An imperative you won’t be able to avoid... done it once, you’ll have to repeat it.
Oh dear, going to have to work harder, no hiding. The herd/troop will expect it. Chance plays no part..........no excuses. Much easier to stay where you are, rather than the discomfort of actually getting something you desire, but are reluctant to work at.
Just read Paul McGee’s super ‘How to have a Great Life’, it has a fabulous chapter on ‘Beware the Curse of Comfort’. A couple gems of wisdom really resonate.
Fantastic quote from the Author and Speaker Berne Brown-
“The big question I ask is, when I had the opportunity did I choose courage over comfort”
In Paul’s words “Has your comfort blanket become your straightjacket?” Many thanks to a fellow Manc.
Bottom line is....... only you know?
How will you feel when the opportunity isn’t there... will it be... would’ve, could’ve, should’ve?
They are only programmes to help you survive; only programmes - they are not you.
But they do Stop You Getting Better!!!!
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