What if Social Media Died?

Lately, I've been thinking about the benefits of social media. I used to enjoy participating in various social media platforms. I liked seeing what others were doing with their families, in their free time, in their careers, and enjoyed seeing the good that my friends were experiencing and even how they would overcome obstacles. Social media allowed me to keep up with friends in ways that phone calls and letter writing did not. There was an immediacy that I really enjoyed.

However, over the recent winter break, I observed something disturbing as I was scrolling through various social media platforms. I noticed that when people had more time on their hands, they argued more, got more caught up in celebrity gossip, they posted a lot of mean things about others, and they were uncritical in their consumption of information.

As the elections loom all around us, I have noticed that attacks are even meaner among friends on social media. I think we have all noticed the meanness. Many people I know are fighting on social media, insulting others, feeling hurt and offended, and expressing their frustrations for all the world to see. As I watched the interactions -- over the winter break and in the subsequent months -- I began to feel sad about humanity and where it is going. I understand that we all feel frustrated and want to express it -- I have done so myself -- although I stopped a few years ago when I realized I didn't want to contribute to the vitriol any longer, even in small ways.

I worry that we have lost our ability to understand that we all have varying opinions and perspectives -- even when we are of the same political stripe, that none of us are perfect, that we all stumble and occasionally need forgiveness, and that we all are learning and will be until the day we leave the earth. These are the things that make us human. I remember when I was an undergraduate in college, I shared an office with a young priest named Andy. He spent the semester writing a statement for the college on human dignity. I'll never forget that semester working next to him. I read the statement a few times for him as he crafted it and learned so much from him in a short time. And, I have kept the idea in the back of my head and in my heart -- the idea that we all have dignity no matter who we are, no matter what are jobs are, no matter what mistakes we have made, and regardless of whether or not people agree with our ideas. Social media seems to forget human dignity.

I often wonder what would happen if people stepped back and waited a day before responding with mean and nasty comments on a friend's post (or even a non-friend's post). I wonder what would happen if we read critically, thought critically, and viewed the actions of others with a bit of nuance. I wonder what would happen if people engaged the comments that anger them with sincere questions instead of passive aggressive insults. President Obama asked a similar question recently (and was attacked for asking it). After seeing so much hate coming from all corners, I stopped engaging in discussions on social media a few years ago. In recent years, I only post items about my professional work and photos of my daughter, travel, or beauty. I decided that I was only going to put goodness and happiness out into the world on social media. I use other venues to engage in discussion around topics of importance to me -- venues that allow more words and nuance.

In recent months, I've taken my social media activity into an even different direction - a more drastic one. I still post items about my work on Twitter and Linked In, and about my daughter on Facebook (being her mom is my joy) and occasional photos of flowers or travel on Instagram, but I no longer scroll through social media sites unless it's necessary for work (e.g. tweets on Twitter related to my work). I used to scroll when I was in transit, in airports, and in between meetings.

As I've pulled away, I've been logging my feelings in my writing journal. I've noticed that I feel happier, more peaceful, and less stressed. I also feel better about society, taking it in while I walk through the city and while I engage with people. I'm engaging a much larger group of people instead of an insular bubble on social media. As I've pulled away, I've heard others talking about their disillusionment with social media and how it makes them feel sad or unhappy or as though they want to disengage. I've shared my own experience and recommended that they take a break or pull away and see how they feel. I've even engaged in conversations about "what if social media died" and found that many people who used to be active users and consumers now want to disengage.

Of course, there are positive aspects of social media -- it has been used to cheer people on, to transmit information in emergencies, to challenge injustice, and to bring families and friends closer together. When approached in informed and well thought out ways, its use can be amazing, powerful and even emotional. Right now, what I'm struggling with is whether the good outweighs the bad. Would we be better off without social media? Do we remember what our lives were like before social media? How would we connect with others in the 21st century? What if social media died?