What the Simone Biles Withdraw Can (Hopefully) Teach Us about Inspiration

Simone Biles is making headlines this week in a very dramatic way. If you’re not aware, she withdrew from the U.S. Gymnastics team’s finals due to a personal issue. As a result, alternates finished the U.S. team competition, and they won the silver medal. Biles may still compete in individual apparatus finals as of the writing of this article.

Biles cited that she was not in the fight “head space” and was “still struggling with some things.” On one vault, she did a move less complicated than her usual daring ones and missed the landing. Reasons for withdrawing provided were fear of injuring herself and jeopardizing her team’s changes to win a medal.

This is a very nuanced issue. I see and understand why some would support Simone 100%, and why some have disappointment and resent her decision.

A note to the twitter & troll world: Only the smallest of us spend their time pulling others down. The biggest of us spend their time pulling others up. The metaphor has some literal meaning. Please strive, as I do each day, to be a bigger person who spends time pulling others up.

As an Olympic athlete, there is enormous pressure on you to win. Not perform; win. When you’ve spent every bit of your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual energy chasing something, and millions of strangers have some stake in your perfection, you carry a burden most will never experience. I understand it, and I will never experience anything that big.

On one hand, I understand what sports and the Olympics can mean to people. In our culture (and the cultures of many around the world) the Olympics has a connection to a feeling of status. “We’re #1!” Neuroscience tells us that our own emotional well being can be connected to feelings of status. When the U.S. wins, some feel the win in some way. When the U.S. loses, some feel the loss. So when the U.S. falls short of winning the gold (regardless of the reason), it’s okay to feel anger, frustration, disappointment, or any other emotion. It's a normal reaction.

Over the years, we’ve drawn tremendous inspiration from the Olympics. Thinking of Mary Lou Retton, Miracle on Ice (the 1980 U.S. Hockey team beating invincible Russia), Kerri Strug, Michael Johnson, and others: sports teams, businesses, leaders, and people of all ages have been inspired to be better people by seeing others achieve a level greatness we can barely imagine. That has value, no matter what your opinion of sports may be.

An Olympic athlete on the verge of winning multiple gold medals, as Simone Biles was at the time of her decision, faces three options.

1. Compete and win the event(s) (assuming injury doesn’t happen); and add it to her shelf of many wins.
2. Compete and lose the event(s) and live with the crushing disappointment and receive criticism indefinitely.
3. Withdraw and face inevitable crushing disappointment and indefinite criticism, but likely on a vastly amplified level.

You read that and almost 100% would logically choose option 1 or 2 and let the chips fall there they may. What we don’t understand unless put real effort into empathy, is that almost all behavior is done to carry out some sense of doing the right thing or protecting something important. For someone to chose option 3, it was only after an immeasurable amount of deliberation and internal turmoil. Again, that’s something I understand but have never experienced myself.

Olympic athletes who lose their event are almost certainly forgotten. Ones who win gold are remembered/celebrated for a short time then forgotten. Ones who win under extraordinary circumstances (as listed above) are remembered for a long time. A competitor withdrawing before even competing is a new thing for us to understand. It’s not something someone so high-profile has ever done previously.

I understand the criticism for this move. However, it’s never okay to pile on what must already be a tremendously traumatic few days surrounding this decision. But I understand why people want to see her compete and are disappointed that she didn’t. The letdown can feel wasteful. In some way, we may think of our own squandered opportunities and not want to see others take their tremendous gifts for granted.

On the other hand, I ask you this: why does it really matter to you? If you didn’t even know who Simone Biles was before this, it’s unfair for you to criticize this decision. So, why DO you care? Is your life any different from this? I CAN tell you who did get inspiration from this: people with crippling anxiety, people who live under expectations that in some way don’t belong to them, people who live under pressure they didn’t choose. They all take inspiration form this.

Not listed in the inspiring moments above is Derek Redmond. This is by far my favorite moment in all of “sports” because it transcends competition into family, love, pride, and support. Derek fell with a badly torn hamstring in the 1992 200M Dash Semifinal. Derek was favored to win the race. After a moment of taking in a very public defeat, he got up to limp his way to the finish line. Along the way, his father broke through security to walk alongside him; a nod to support, love, and family in this touching moment. No one cares who won that race. Today, Derek still inspires many who see this story captured on youtube.

If Simone’s tumultuous decision has inspired millions who feel trapped and obligated in any situation under pressure (explicit or implicit) to walk away and “heal” or “focus on getting in the right head space” or the like, that has value.?Too may people can relate (in anguish) to her statement “It just sucks when you are fighting with your own head.” Some of our largest, most deflating, and most insurmountable obstacles live in our own head. Fear, judgement, need for safety and protection, all live in our minds for good reason, but give us anxiety. We all experience this. Based on your level of privilege (good parenting, other resources, or even trauma), you may be differently equipped to handle it. Be sensitive to someone who doesn’t handle things like you do.

Let’s be clear. It’s okay for a single event to disappoint some yet inspire others. We all live with disappointment. Life teaches us to handle this in various ways and move on. That’s how we build resilience; from adversity. Simone Biles has shown miles and miles of resilience to get where she is; that’s something we’d never experience.

She didn’t show resilience in this final decision to withdraw. She did show courage. Knowing your options, and still choosing option 3 (above) takes deep deliberation and courage; we can assume this decision wasn’t made casually.

She thought she was doing right by her team, even if others are criticizing her for abandoning her team. Had she stuck through it, we don’t know if gold or failure lived at the end of that path, so it’s senseless to speculate.

One thing we should remember about “debate” is there are opposing opinions, and the purpose is to understand and explain your own opinion fully while understanding the opposing opinion. One isn’t more correct than the other. Facts aren’t debatable, only opinions about the implications of the facts. That’s what this is.

Whichever side one takes in this debate is totally fine. If you’re a human being with empathy, you can have conviction and still say with authenticity “I understand.”

Simone’s decision to withdraw is polarizing. If you have a stance on it, please pause and fully understand why you feel strongly. There are many factors contributing to it. If you see a different viewpoint, we must learn to see it as valid. We’re allowed to have differing opinions. I understand how complicated this is.

Letting down others in a team setting happens to be one of my personal triggers. Walking away from something toxic to save yourself from unnecessary trauma is also one of my triggers. I not only have sympathy for Simon Biles, but I feel deeply for strong feelings on both sides of this argument. What’s most important to me:

1. No need to pile on her for the decision. It was difficult enough. She doesn’t need small internet trolls bringing her life of achievement down so they may feel less small. Have your opinion and keep it independent of her.
2. Be good to each other. You can get inspiration from many places. And what motivates you and inspires you is a deeply personal thing. Wherever you get it, I hope you truly absorb the energy from it to bring something positive to your life. If it’s resilience and achievement, great. If it’s walking away, great. Use it to be a better person than you were yesterday.

Inspiration takes many forms. I urge you, if you have strong feelings about this decision, to build yourself up, and lift others. The point of inspiration is for you to some how pay it forward.

(Kris Mailepors is author of The Easy to Follow Leader and a leadership coach. You can find more of his writing here)