What should I do with my hands?

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It’s one of the most common questions we get asked by people who are preparing for an important presentation, interview, speech, or pitch:

“What should I do with my hands?”

We move our arms and hands freely all the time. We tell stories, painting pictures with our gestures. Knowing what to do with your hands isn’t a problem when you meet your friends at the bar at the end of the week or when you’re eating dinner with your family, but something about high-pressure situations makes using our arms and hands a challenge!

It happens to everyone! When we get self-conscious, it can be difficult to move naturally. It suddenly becomes impossible to remember how we would normally move and we end up gesturing too much or keeping our hands frozen still.?

Gestures are an important part of communication, so let’s take a look at what some our gestures are telling our listeners:

Palms down

Imagine someone walking towards you, wanting to shake hands with you. Their hand is outstretched, but their palm is facing downwards towards the floor. They put their hand on top of yours as they shake it. What impression are they trying to make? Most people see this is a sign of dominance.?

The same principle applies to gestures. If you’re making a statement that you want to communicate as strong or certain, try using a palms down gesture. This gesture is congruent with confident statements, like “That’s my final offer,” or “We must have this finished by the end of the day.”

Palms down gestures convey to your listeners that they should act on your strong message and listen to what you have to say.

Palms up

On the flip side, how does it make you feel when someone approaches you for a handshake with their palms up? It is a gesture that often shows warmth and openness, inviting others to give their opinions.

You may want to use palms up gestures when communicating messages like, “Welcome to the meeting,” or if you’re encouraging listeners to answer questions like, “What do you think we should do?”

If a leader presents questions while using palms down gestures, they’re delivering an incongruent message. This can cause confusion in listeners, who will hesitate to answer. If you’re looking for feedback and engagement from your audience, see what happens when you use palms up gestures.

Amplify your message

Now consider this: how does it feel when someone uses both arms to shake hands with you? Maybe they place a hand on your shoulder while shaking hands? This could communicate dominance, or if you know someone well, the second hand can add warmth. Whether two hands makes this greeting feel controlling or friendly, one thing is true:

Using a second hand is an amplifier.

The same applies to gestures. Using both hands as opposed to just one will amplify your message and emphasise the point that you’re communicating.

Mix it up

While working with a CEO of a software company, we watched him deliver a speech containing a lot of good points, but his body language was stilted and wooden. We suggested adding movement, so that he could free himself up. In response, he delivered the speech while moving one arm around like a windmill. It didn’t help! He struggled to drop his fierce exterior in case his team stopped taking him seriously, but the lack of variety combined with the tension in his movements made him hard to watch and, therefore, difficult to listen to.?

So we tried taking a bold step out of his comfort zone. We asked him to read a children’s storybook while gesturing as if speaking to his daughter. His face came to life, his arms created vivid images, and his voice captivated us. When he went back to his work presentation, it was transformed. His team lit up with inspiration and said they felt cared for and ready to put his ideas into action.?

Sometimes, all we need to free up our natural movements is a little shift in our given circumstances.?

When used with intention, gestures can be a powerful tool for effective communication.

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