What is Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction? — the scientific approach – What is it and how important is a name?

Sex Addiction!! — the humorous approach — I wish I had that.

Sex Addiction??! — the head in the sand approach — There’s no such thing – You’re just stigmatizing normal behaviours – You’re just moralizing sexuality – You’re just trying to excuse your behaviours.

Sex Addiction… – the anonymous approach — Oh! Is there help for that? (Asking for a friend)

Here’s what it looks like from someone who is suffering with sex addiction.

What started out as otherwise normal healthy behaviours has turned into a torment of fear, shame, guilt, secrecy, paranoia, craving, depression, unrest, overconsumption, fatigue, anger, and out-of-control sexual urges.

It's progressive.

What may have started out as society-approved sexual freedom, ego-gratifying, exhilarating became less of a desire and more of a need.

Your brain is slowly hijacked. You lose perspective, lose the freedom of choice.

You develop a second persona; you lie to yourself and others… lead a double life… use others to get what you need…

stealing time, crossing boundaries, blinding yourself to the suffering that comes from the addiction…

harming yourself, your family, your community ...

the shame builds and the isolation intensifies.

The long-term consequences might show up quickly with the modern free and ready access to your drug of choice – available 24 hours a day.

Or your addiction may build so slowly for decades – the changes so subtle you begin to think that no one will ever know, and you can take your secret to your grave.

The addiction becomes an energy-stealing, time-wasting, soul, marriage, and life-destroying force of its own.

You become overwhelmed by shame, desperation, fear, heart palpitations, self-loathing, suicidal thinking

You fight back, struggling to bring your thoughts and behaviours under your control…

Making promises to yourself and everybody in your life…

Attempting to quit, putting limits on yourself, creating mantras like — never again, or never again after this time, or next month I’ll do better.

It comes in waves and some days are better than others, except when it's sudden and you’re unprepared. You get angry and irritable when you can’t get access to what you need. Family vacations are turmoil, work trips are worse. Time alone is the hardest.

It's progressive, a downwards spiral where the need is stronger, the drug less powerful, l and the pleasure ever decreasing until it's all blur of trigger, action, and shame without end. Terrified that you will get caught followed by being terrified that you won’t…

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