What is self care!?

Today, the concept of self care is thrown around like confetti. Upon entering the formal academy setting at Rio Hondo Community College, Recruit Class 157 (honor courage, teamwork, trust, 157 believe in us), officer candidates were inundated with a plethora of information from California traffic laws, penal codes, health and safety, drugs, traffic enforcement tactics, response to calls (scenario) training, officers safety briefings, running to the bell, and of course lots and lots of front leaning rest time (push-ups). But wasn't addressed for more than maybe, arguably, and collective was officer mental health.

Sure we were told to stay in tip top physical shape, (which hasn't happened). There was nary a mention of how to endure mental anguish frustration, disease, or defect. There we very little practical information on how to de-compress after work, it was avoid "choir" practice (drinking with the other shift officers), not engaging with bills, booze, or babes, aka what I know now is maladaptive coping skills. But nope, surely you must be thinking that it would get addressed in my FTO period. Again the answer was no, my FTO was a great trainer, friend, and mentor. He shared with me officer safety tips, he taught me how to be "a cop" if you will or at least shaped what I was to become in the future. He taught me about internal v. external politics, and well as station politics. He showed me great places to eat, and has provided for a solid continued friendship since leaving the agency. But I don't recall much about off duty mental health, or practical ways (healthy coping) skills to address my mental health.

Sadly, the concept of self care didn't hit until around 2021, that is right around the time I started school at Saint Mary's University of Minnesota in the M.A program.

So it took me almost 20+ years to truly understand the concept of self care. It wasn't until I was working outside of law enforcement in the world of Social Work, did I see self-care effectively utilized, encouraged and used by managers, and leaders. Self care is truly different for everyone, for me it might be a cigar, going to a comic convention and getting an autograph photo, and personal photo with Sam Jones (Flash Gordon), building Star Wars Lego sets, exercise, starting to ref soccer, or sitting quietly with my dog. The purpose of self care practically speaking is to focus on yourself. Nothing more, nor nothing less. But with increase in self-care you can mentally defuse, slow down and decrease your stress levels to more manageable levels.

Visually imagine that we all have a "wick" or "fuse" that is 12 inches long. The fuse/wick is what lights the explosive device. On a normal day there are large chunks of that wick/fuse taken up by work stress, family/relationship stress, money issues, self image, and so on, the closer you get to the end with stress the shorter it takes for you to become irritable. Thus lighting the fuse. So self care cuts down each of those blocks. Or someone takes a photo of you and you become a meme. The below photo of me was taking at the Detroit Lakes Community Center, I was there for an event after working an overnight shift, and needing to catch up on my sleep.

The reality is self care, is something that you use to focus on you. I work with a fair amount of clients that "suffer" from anxiety. I also tell them to start and thinking of Maslow Hierarchy of Needs. Without taking care of the base layer you can't move up.

What does this practically looking like, well it is it rather simple. Every week make sure that you focus on you for 2-4hrs. Something that you want to do. This is more than regular exercise, as it extends the time for self-reflection, relaxation and rest. If you are married, or dating make sure that you attempt to use the same amount of time with your significant other. Not just sitting on your couch, with the TV on, playing on your phone ignoring each other.

Also make sure - that you get good photos like this for your retirement. The number of times that I ditched my Charger in Northern Minnesota was less than 10 but more than 1.

If you are looking for help please reach out and find a therapist whom can help you. If you are in Minnesota please let me know [email protected]

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