What if the secret to achieving everything you want isn’t in what you do or have—but in who you are?

Too often, we start by chasing outcomes. We set goals like “I want to make more money,” “I want to lose weight,” or “I want to grow my business and then exit.” Then, we dive straight into action plans, working harder and faster, hoping the results will follow.

But what if we’re approaching it backwards?

I'd like to introduce you to "The Be-Do-Have" framework which flips this script. It starts with identity—who you are (your "why"), the foundation for everything else. When you’re clear on your purpose and values, your actions align naturally, and the results take care of themselves.

If you're like me, you're growing tired of mere philosophy and empty motivational reels. What I'm proposing to you is grounded in powerful concepts like Simon Sinek’s "Golden Circles"—which begins with "why"—and James Clear’s identity-based habits—where outcomes flow from identity and processes. Both highlight the same truth: start with being, not doing or having.

In this article, we’ll explore how shifting your focus to who you are can transform your actions and lead to the results you’ve been chasing. Let’s dig in.

Who do you want to BE?

It’s a simple question, but it holds the key to everything you want. Most of us start with action—focusing on what we need to do to get what we want. But if you’re not clear on who you are or why you’re doing it, even the best-laid plans can feel like empty motions.

"Be-Do-Have" is a framework that changes the game. It starts with be—

• your core identity
• your values
• your purpose

This is your why, the foundation of everything that follows. When you know who you are and why you’re pursuing a goal, your actions—what you do—align naturally. The outcomes—what you have—become a byproduct of living true to that identity.

By starting with "be," you create clarity and alignment. You move from just achieving to becoming. And that shift changes everything.

At the risk of being redundant (a risk I'm willing to take because I see so many problems), let me say it again: Many people fall into the trap of starting with "have." They focus on the outcomes—more money, a bigger title, better health—and build their strategy around chasing those results. The logic seems sound: if I can achieve this, then I’ll be able to do what I want, and eventually, I’ll be happy, fulfilled, or successful.

But this approach leads to frustration and burnout. Why? Because it puts your "BE" out into the future, dependent on how things progress. Outcomes become the driver, not the byproduct, and you find yourself engaging in actions that don’t align with who you truly are. You grind harder, push through misaligned efforts, and chase goals that might not even reflect your values. The result? Misalignment, exhaustion, and sometimes even achieving goals that leave you feeling empty.

Starting with "be" flips this flawed formula. When you focus first on your identity—who you want to be—your actions stem from a place of clarity and purpose. The outcomes you achieve are a natural reflection of that alignment, not something forced or disconnected. "Being" is foundational - it makes success feel meaningful and sustainable. Without it, even the best achievements can feel hollow.

Simon Sinek had it right

The world of achievement doesn't help much. We’ve been taught to start with what we want—bigger goals, better outcomes, more of what we think will make us happy. The formula seems straightforward: have more, so you can do more, and eventually be the person you want to be.

But how often does that really work?

This approach feels logical, and that's the problem. It so often leads to frustration. We grind away, chasing outcomes, only to feel disconnected or unfulfilled when we achieve them. Why?

Because we skipped the most important step: starting with who we are.

The truth is, transformation begins with identity. When you focus on being—on aligning with your values and defining your purpose—the actions you take become more intentional and meaningful. And when your actions align with who you truly are, the results—what you have—flow naturally.

The "Be-Do-Have" framework reminds us to reverse the process. Start with identity. Build the habits and actions that support it. And trust that the outcomes will follow. It’s not just a better way to achieve; it’s a better way to live.

If you're reading this and thinking about Simon Sinek's "Golden Circles", there's a reason. Simon Sinek 's "Golden Circles" had a profound impact on my thinking. It provides a powerful framework for understanding what drives meaningful action and results. At the center of the model is why—your purpose, your core belief, the reason you get out of bed in the morning. From there, the circle moves outward to how—the processes and strategies you use—and finally to what—the tangible results or outcomes.

This aligns perfectly with the "Be-Do-Have" framework.

- Why corresponds to be—who you are, your identity, and what you stand for. When you’re clear on your "why," everything else becomes easier to define.

- How connects to do—the actions and processes you commit to in order to live out your identity. These are the practical steps you take to stay aligned with your purpose.

- What ties to have—the outcomes and results that naturally follow when you’re consistent with your "why" and "how."

The power of starting with "why" lies in its ability to create clarity and alignment. When you know who you are and why you’re doing what you’re doing, your actions have meaning. It's much more than working toward a goal; it's living in alignment with your identity. And when your actions align with your purpose, the outcomes often exceed your expectations.

By starting with "be"—your why—you build a foundation that inspires action and ensures that the results reflect who you truly are. Without it, even the best outcomes can feel hollow.

James Clear had it right

James Clear 's work on identity-based habits also provides a simple yet profound insight:

"Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become." It’s not just about what you want to achieve; it’s about who you want to be.

Clear’s model aligns seamlessly with the "Be-Do-Have" framework. He starts with identity—your sense of self and your belief in who you are—and works outward. The process is simple but powerful:

1. Identity (Be): Start by defining who you want to be. If your goal is to be healthier, don’t focus on the scale. Instead, adopt the mindset: "I am a healthy person." This shift in identity lays the foundation for everything that follows.
2. Processes (Do): Once you’ve defined your identity, your actions naturally align. For example, a "healthy person" might prioritize daily walks, mindful eating, or regular workouts—not because they have to, but because it’s who they are.
3. Outcomes (Have): The results—weight loss, more energy, better health—become a natural byproduct of living in alignment with your identity.

Contrast this with the common approach of focusing on outcomes first. Many people set a goal like, "I want to lose 20 pounds," and then create a rigid plan to get there. But without a deeper identity shift, it’s easy to revert to old habits once the goal is reached (or abandoned).

Starting with "BE" is more effective; it creates lasting change. When you align with your identity and take consistent action, the outcomes take care of themselves. Clear’s work reminds us that transformation doesn't involve forcing change from the outside—it involves becoming the person who naturally achieves the results you want.

By tying this idea to "Be-Do-Have," we can see how powerful starting with who you are truly is. It’s the foundation of meaningful success and sustainable growth.

What To Do Now

By now, I assume you get the point of how important it is to start with BE before progressing to DO and then HAVE. Most people set goals by starting with what they want—more money, a healthier body, a thriving business. Then they map out actions they think will get them there. But this approach skips a critical step: defining who they want to be first.

The "Be-Do-Have" framework shifts the focus. Instead of chasing outcomes, it asks you to start with identity and purpose.

Here's what you can do to make the most of the next 90, 120, 365 days...

1. Define Your "Be": Start by reflecting on your core values and asking yourself, "Who do I want to be?" Are you someone who values creativity, health, or leadership? Your identity is your foundation, guiding every decision and action.
2. Focus on the "Do": Once you’re clear on your "be," identify the daily habits or processes that align with that identity. If you want to be a healthy person, the do might look like regular exercise, preparing healthy meals, or prioritizing rest.
3. Let the "Have" Follow: Outcomes take care of themselves when your actions are consistently aligned with your identity. A healthy body, increased energy, or professional growth becomes the natural result of living out who you want to be.

Rooted in principles from Simon Sinek’s "Golden Circles" and James Clear’s identity-based habits, the "Be-Do_have" framework actually works!

By focusing on why you’re doing something and aligning your actions with who you truly want to be. Outcomes aren’t something you chase; they’re something you earn by living with purpose.

Your future doesn’t have to look like your past.

In just 30 minutes, you can begin to unlock a new way of thinking, ignite a sense of purpose, and start designing the life you’ve always wanted. I’ve witnessed incredible transformations—people stepping off the treadmill of frustration and into a life of clarity, intention, and real results.

If you’re ready to break free from the cycle and create a life that aligns with who you truly are, let’s connect. One conversation could change everything.

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