What is a script?

Hi friend,

I was thinking about how I wanted to kick off this newsletter series, and I figured there was no better place to start than talking about: What is a script?

A script, as I define it, is:

A preconceived notion, thought pattern, or belief we hold about ourselves and about the world.

You see, when we’re born, we are blank slates.

We have no beliefs, we have no thoughts, we are an empty vessel.

As we grow up, our beliefs and ideas about the world are given to us either directly through what we're told, or more often indirectly, by watching the world around us - how our parents, extended family, teachers, culture, and society at large, how they act.

In a sense then, we are not actively choosing what we believe to be true about ourselves and about the world - we are conditioned.

And conditioning isn’t a bad thing - it’s how we learn to navigate and operate properly in society.

The issue is when this conditioning begins to limit our healthy, individual expression.

You can see this very clearly in some of the “societal scripts”:

• Do all the things in high school
• So you can get into the best college
• Do all the things in college
• So you can get a really sexy corporate job at an impressive company
• And then you work your way up the ladder
• And start a family
• And buy a home
• And settle down
• And retire
• And die

While this may work for some, I often find that people who are trying to force themselves into this script are deeply unhappy - they feel unfulfilled, lethargic, unexcited about life, and secretly wishing they could go do something else.

But the scripts stop them - they feel they can’t, because they feel there is this thing they’re SUPPOSED TO BE doing.

It’s the supposed to’s and the shoulds that I think are most detrimental to people’s happiness, and so much of the reason why I want to create content and share my ideas.

Because I have come to realize over the course of my life that the supposed-to’s and the shoulds are LIES - straight up, bald-face, empty, empty lies.

The supposed-to’s and the shoulds keep us stuck and restrained, and trick us into thinking that we are “doing life right” - as in, if we just keep doing what we’re supposed to be doing, then, eventually we’ll be happy and fulfilled and feel like our best selves.

But it’s not true. Following the script is a recipe for disappointment, for regret, for deep sorrow and sadness.

Following the script is to abdicate the experience of life that would FEEL BEST and be MOST EXCITING to you.

Because, the experience of life that you’re seeking - one that feels free, open, authentic, fulfilling, satisfying, exciting, expressive, powerful, connected, SEXY, rich and meaningful and abundant - that experience of life is only possible when you are choosing to live a life in accordance with your deepest values.

It requires a willingness to know yourself deeply, and to be willing to live in ways that may appear illogical or nonsensical on the surface.

The life you want most - the life you’re meant to live - can only be created through your willingness to break out of the scripts and stories you were given, and to step into becoming the creator of your own life.

It’s a journey that requires courage, conviction, trust, and a willingness to believe (without evidence) in the possibility of a better future.

I’ve come to see for myself the difference this orientation to life makes, and I get so excited thinking about you creating the same for yourself.

I think the world will be a much brighter, much more loving place when people know themselves deeply, and are willing to do the scary thing in service of what they want most.

And that’s my commitment to you in this newsletter and in my content.

I want to be a reminder and support for you as you journey down this path of self-knowledge and own-life-creation.

And what I’ve come to realize is - the first step in making any change is AWARENESS.

Without becoming aware of the scripts and stories driving your behavior, you have NO CHOICE but to continue to do the same things, over and over and over.

My invitation to you, both now, and forever in the future, is to spend intentional time and practice NOTICING the thoughts you think, and the things you do consistently.

Here are some reflection questions I invite you to ask yourself and to spend time sitting with:

• What are the less-than-desirable thoughts you find yourself thinking over and over and over again? Where did these thoughts come from? What drives these thoughts?
• What are the behavioral patterns you notice yourself participating in over and over, even though you know you’d like to stop? What are these patterns protecting you from?
• And, what is your definition of success? Where did it come from? Is that what you think success is? Or is that what other people have told you success is?

If you’re willing, I’d love to hear your insights and your thoughts on the questions above.

The more you practice becoming aware of the scripts running your life, the more opportunities you give yourself to actively disrupt them, and replace them with something NEW and BETTER.

Happy unscripting ???

Hayden

ICYMI - Mindset Monday - April 29th

This past Mindset Monday, I spoke with my good friend and Master Certified Coach, Lisa Pachence, MCC .

We went deep on:

• Thought work (”stepping outside of your preconceived notions”)
• The power of the question, “What if”?
• How to create powerful new options and possibilities for yourself in your business
• The importance of creating SUSTAINABILITY in how you operate your business
• And more

Take a listen to the full conversation here: https://www.dhirubhai.net/events/mindsetmondayw-specialguestlisa7188948207970795520/theater/

Want to go deeper with unscripting?

As part of my service offerings, I work 1:1 with people who are ready to break out of the scripts and stories keeping them stuck, and who are ready to truly create life on their own terms.

If you’d like to learn more about what this process looks like, and learn more about working with me, you can find more on my website: https://www.haydenhumphrey.com/coaching

I am also considering starting a group program, called “Growth Groups”, where we meet regularly, discuss the scripts holding us back, celebrate each others wins, and create powerful forward momentum in the areas that matter most to us.

If you’re interested in this concept, and wanting to learn more, please send me a DM with the words “Growth Groups”.