What Role Do Emotions Play at Work?
Celesta Davis
Team & Leadership Coach, Mediator, Facilitator & Speaker | Optimizing leaders and teams through evolving how they communicate, transform conflict, and build awesome company culture
“We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us - how we can take it, what we do with it - and that is what really counts in the end.” - Joseph Fort Newton
A few experiences over the past couple of weeks have highlighted something I’ve been thinking about in the context of Emotional Intelligence (EI).
People's internal and external reactions to identical situations are so varied. And their interpretations of those reactions are varied, too!
So when we approach Emotional Intelligence in the context of the workplace, we have to create some norms and boundaries if we’re going to level-set a safe space for everyone. I would offer that organizations have some responsibility to build EI skills within the workplace to help people handle those emotional fluctuations.
So here’s my trifecta.
1. I sat in on a very… vigorous… board meeting. Communication was already elevated when an unexpected announcement took it to a whole new level. People stood up in anger and threw rude language around to make their point.
2. A video I posted on YouTube about the phrase “It is what it is” unleashed some *passion*. Evolve The Com only has 15 subscribers, but over 1,000 people watched the video and dozens commented, most of them to defend their position.
3. A customer service rep attending a class I was teaching on providing care to customers came in super frustrated about how customers felt free to unleash on him and how exhausting it was.
Now I am delighted to say that I didn’t get my heart rate up too much in any of these.
That’s a coup for me. In the past, I would have.
But as I said, it got me reflecting even more seriously about what could we, should we, or do we do about this when it happens at work.
Should we have emotions at work? (Um… we do. It’s inevitable.)
And since we do, how can we appropriately express them?
And maybe even harder, what do we do with colleagues who express their emotions with a little more vigor than we find appropriate?
Where should the line be drawn?
Emotional intelligence is among the top 10 most in-demand skills right now—and is projected to remain so. People with high EI earn an average of $29,000 more annually. And for every point increase in emotional intelligence, there's an addition of $1,300 to an annual salary. (Niagara Institute)
So what can YOU do to enhance (or preserve) Emotional Intelligence in YOUR workplace?
Strategies for Enhancing Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace
1. Start with Yourself
I know it may not be what you want to hear, but the journey to a more emotionally intelligent workplace always begins with you.
Work is an emotional petri dish, but you can model the EI behaviors you wish to see on your team.
By demonstrating self-awareness and self-management, even when your colleagues behave badly, you impact your team and your organization for good. And if you get a chance to share those experiences with colleagues, you invite others to do the same, building a foundation for trust and transparency.
2. Set and Hold Boundaries
Having healthy boundaries allows everyone some breathing room. But it can be tough if you’re in a toxic workplace, or are dealing with inappropriate power dynamics.
Stay strong.
Communicate your priorities openly and clearly.
And make sure you hear, restate, and respect what you hear others’ priorities are. Write it down if it’s helpful.
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Once everything’s on the table, you have a better shot at saying no and being heard so that you can keep yourself on task, and keep others accountable.
3. Establish Emotional Intelligence Norms in the Culture
Integrate emotional intelligence principles directly into your company's core values and guidelines. This involves defining specific behaviors and practices that reflect high emotional intelligence, such as:
It also means having leaders who embody and uphold these core values and guidelines on every level.
4. Implement Constructive Feedback Loops
Feedback is crucial for growth, but it's often delivered without considering its emotional impact. Develop a feedback system that is frequent, specific, and that allows for reflection and sharing.
Constructive feedback where individuals are encouraged to understand their emotional responses to criticism and praise fosters a culture of continuous learning and personal and professional development.
5. Support EI Growth with Training and Coaching
Emotional intelligence workshops and team coaching offer a safe and neutral space for employees of different backgrounds to explore and practice skills like empathy, communication, and conflict resolution without all of the IRL pressure.
By normalizing a culture where sharing and hearing personal insights is the norm, not the exception, team members feel heard and valued, which in turn enhances team cohesion and empathy among colleagues.
Wanting more? This month, Evolve The Com is launching Celesta Davis’ ebook, Why EQ Matters; Emotional Living in the Professional World. Get it first by joining us on May 17th!
Or register here to get it on May 18th!
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Fri, May 17 ? 10:00 AM PST
Emotional Intelligence Workshop
In this one hour workshop, we'll explore the foundations of Emotional Intelligence, and the role it plays in the workplace.
This is an interactive session where we invite participants to engage with questions and scenarios, as we develop and refine our emotional intelligence skillset.
All attendees will be sent a free copy of the new ebook Why EQ Matters!
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