What a Rock Band Can Teach Us About Relationship Development

On June 21, I joined my daughter and 60,000 of our new best friends watching Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones rock out opening night of their 2019 No Filter tour. Their 38th visit to Chicago since 1964 almost didn’t happen. The 75-year old Jagger needed a new heart valve earlier this year and it was up in the air as to whether the tour would go on at all. But there they were, bigger than life in Solider Field – a bucket list moment fulfilled. This was the first night of a 15-city, 17 date tour and if anyone was worried that Mick would dial down the energy, it all went away within the first two chords of the opening riff.

As I was listening to classic Stones (one could argue the best rock band ever) I couldn’t help but think about how their titles and lyrics mirrored relationship development so closely. So, courtesy of Mick, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts and the rest, here is what I learned - with No Filter. 

Jumpin Jack Flash has lots of good years left in him. For exactly two hours these four nearly octogenarians, that have roamed the earth for nearly 300 total years, pranced and danced to some of the most popular rock songs ever recorded. No gimmicks, no Hollywood production. It was just good old rock and roll. Sometimes I feel less relevant at age 69 as I watch the new bells, whistles and technology enter the marketplace and as younger sales consultants rise through the ranks with great new ideas - more than I can keep up with. The energy that these four old guys brought to the stage, however, was inspiring. And, while I don’t have a cardiologist nearby when I do my work, I think I can keep teaching bankers to hold quality sales conversations for at least as long as Mick has - maybe even that 78-year-old drummer. 

If you start me up, I’ll never stop, suggests a classic Stones tune. Sales is all about momentum. We have a habit of calling timeout on ourselves. We don’t carve out PowerHours every day to focus on prospecting, deepening relationships or sending something of value. So many of the organizations I work with provide amazing tools to help associates maximize their efforts but so many bankers don’t use them. I did a prospecting class recently where 50% of the class didn’t even know they had certain job aids available to them. Many of the rest of the 50% chose not to use them. How can we get our associates to carve out some Start Me Up time every day? I find early in the morning is when I am at my best. I Fade Away as the day progresses and things get in the way of phone calls, LinkedIn posting/messages and other client-facing activities. Find your power hour and take advantage of the momentum it provides. 

As managers, we tend to water Dead Flowers, like this campy honkey-tonk, country classic. I will nourish and nurture anyone that is trying and that has some life. Not sure about you but we pull dead flowers from the garden so they won’t affect the other beautiful flora. Unfortunately, we tend to avoid pulling them from our organizations. There are lots of good reasons for this. Talent pools in certain areas are not as full as they used to be. We are good humans and we want to give people a second, third and fourth chance. Plants that show life should be cared for. Flowers that have passed on to the great garden in the sky should stop receiving H2O. 

As much as your people try, they won’t earn every relationship. They will get frustrated and sometimes their dauber gets down. When they ask Gimme Shelter, you need to be there as a leader to help and reinforce them and to let them know that the next opportunity is just a shot away. It’s Sad, Sad, Sad when sales leaders don’t help with that. I want a Street Fightin' Man (or woman) that is willing to get back in the game, time and time again. You win some and you likely finish second more. If you keep enough in the top of the funnel, however, you will always have business in good times, bad times, all the time.  The key to it all is the sales leader who provides shelter through behavioral coaching.

You Can’t Always Get What You Want from prospects who aren’t smart enough to know that you are better than the competition. You Can’t Always Get What You Want from clients who choose not to do all their business with you, even though it would be so much more convenient. You Can’t Always Get What You Want from that COI that chooses to make a referral to the bank down the block instead of yours. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. We live in a world of abundance. There are plenty of opportunities to help you get what you need – more importantly, to get what they (your marketplace) need. 

Mick Jagger owned the stage on opening night. He bopped up and down the 80-foot ramp like a seventh-grader heading home after the last day of school for the summer. Clearly their voices had aged and they admittedly forgot some of the words. No matter. As I looked around the home of the Chicago Bears on a fall-like night in the Windy City, no one was sitting and the filter that even the most conservative human brought with them as they entered the stadium, faded quickly as those four brits, that have been together for more than 50 years, launched into some unforgettable music. We didn’t all Spend the Night Together but for 120 minutes on Friday, June 21, our filters disappeared, a threatening rain event was respectful enough to skirt around Soldier Field and a lifelong dream became reality. We all got Satisfaction. 

Rock on, relationship developers.

With more thank 69,000 bankers personally trained and coached, Jack Hubbard has presented trust-based relationship development sessions as a keynote speaker, as a presenter for national and state trade associations and as a faculty member for more than a dozen of the nation’s premier banking schools. Jack is widely known as the "Professor of Prospecting," and the "Dr. of Dialogue," having created programs for bank to business client development, referrals, net-sharing and new client acquisitions through his bestselling book “Conversations with Prospects.” Jack is also widely respected for being one of banking’s top LinkedIn Social Collaboration experts. He is the host of the popular podcast and webinar series 10 Minutes With. Jack can be reached at 847-717-4328 or [email protected].