What is the ripple effect of the contact that you are making?
Gretha van der Merwe
Global Leadership and Executive Coach (MCC-ICF) | Facilitator | Trainer
All contact has a ripple effect. No matter how insignificant it may seem on the surface. Whether it is a slight touch of hands, eye contact, a conversation or an ant crawling over your skin. Our interactions do impact others and the environment.
This humbling lesson was taught to me by a small ant that crawled over my face during meditation. You may think – why did you allow an ant to crawl over your face? Why not flick it off? Let me tell you the story
During a recent 10-day Vipassana retreat I was taking a break between sittings. There is a specific tree that I love to go to. I call it the tree of joy because when I climb in it, I feel like a child and joy spontaneously arise. However, the ants also love that tree. So, when the gong announced that we need to go into the meditation hall for the next sit, I climbed out of the tree, shook my body to get rid of any ants that might have crept on me.
Back in the hall, I crossed my legs and ensured that I’m in a comfortable sitting position as this is the one-hour meditation where we are practicing sitting with “adhittana”. Adhittana is the Pali word for strong determination. The invitation is to sit with absolute stillness without moving your legs, arms or opening your eyes for the entire period of the meditation. The reason is to cultivate resisting falling back on reactive behaviour by moving or scratching whenever you feel an uncomfortable sensation. The purpose to cultivate equanimity and mental strength that helps to purify or master the busy mind so that you can navigate discomfort with grace.
It was probably about 10 minutes in my sit when the ant started crawling up my chin. Immediately I noticed how the monkey mind started to spin stories “you should have been more thorough to ensure that no ants crawled unto you”, “why did you go and sit on the tree – you knew there were ants and that this may happen”, etc. And so, the mind jumps from one branch of thought to another. I realised I had a choice; I can get thrown around by my mind and stay in the agitation that it is creating, or I can choose to become very curious about how it feels if an ant crawls over my skin. I chose the latter and that has made all the difference.
I sensed how the reactive behaviour of wanting to lift my arm was causing prickling sensations from my hand that ran from my fingertips all the way to my right shoulder. The emotion of irritation became stronger as I remained still and chose to respond differently. I then shifted my attention to the feet of the ant. Curiously observing how each time it takes a footstep the sensations in my face changed. It starts from the touch point of his foot on my skin but will then run up over my face. The ripple effect running like soft waves in different directions. Sometimes feeling itchy or ticklish.
After the ant crossed my whole cheekbone, it moved down my neck and found a place of material where it continued its journey. Even though I could not feel his feet on my skin anymore the ripple effect of the contact was still vibrating on my skin. Revealing the insight – all contact has a ripple effect. Unearthing the questions:
My intention is that the contact I make supports love and healing. Helping other to connect more with their body and sacred beingness. To connect on a humane level that fosters growth and communicate - we are in this together.
What is your intention?
We all have habitual reactions that sometimes makes us behave in ways we regret later. That’s okay. We are human. And as humans we also have the ability to choose to start again. To respond with care for ourselves and others.
May the ripple effect of the contact you make serve all of life at work and at home.