?? What Relationship Do You Want To Improve In 2024?
James Traub
Divorce & Wellbeing Coach | Guiding Parents to Their "Best Possible Divorce" | Men's Work Facilitator
We’ve all got one…
An important relationship you can’t easily walk away from that’s just NOT where you want it to be…
Instead of feeling easy, somehow it always feels hard!
And it’s not that you haven’t tried to improve this relationship (you have!), but it’s still not moving in the right direction… ??
Yet, if you did manage to turn this relationship around–boy, what a relief that would be!
Being in a relationship that is plagued by tension and conflict sucks. ??
And if you’re fresh out of ideas on how to improve the relationship (or you’ve given up on the possibility that it can be improved…), you might have started to pull away from this person into the safety of complaining and blaming.
If that’s the case, things definitely won’t be improving anytime soon…
?? If you've got one such relationship in mind and would prefer for 2024 NOT to be a repeat of 2023, let's chat.
Because (believe it or not), tension and conflict in a relationship isn’t necessarily a bad thing (nor is it an indication that the relationship is flawed or doomed to fail).
In fact, it’s the relationships without tension and conflict that you need to watch out for...
Because when things are running too smoothly, it’s usually a sign that one (or both) individuals aren’t speaking up about what they REALLY want, need, and feel in the relationship…
?? Wim-Hof Update
I just completed Week 4 of the Wim-Hof Classic Video Course and will try my best to put into words what this experience has been like for me.?
As of this writing:
As with most things in life, you get out of a process what you are willing to put into it…
And I went into this Wim-Hof program with a HIGH level of commitment.???
I wanted to add some structured breathwork to my morning meditation routine, but this has gone MUCH deeper than anticipated (and has actually replaced my morning meditation).
When people think of Wim-Hof, they tend to think of his feats of cold endurance or of his unique breathing method–yet, what I’ve discovered is that the Wim-Hof Method is primarily about activating and optimizing the functioning of your nervous system.
The exercises–which require a unique type of cardiovascular and mental ‘labor’ that I wasn’t expecting–also have the explicit aim of shifting how your brain functions. ??
It's hard work.
The breathwork exercises, in particular, help to quiet the analytical/thinking/fear-based mind and reconnect you with more primal structures that allow your body to function in (often miraculous ways) that are not limited by rational thought, but are more part of your human blueprint.
After completing several rounds of breathwork, I’m often in an altered state of mind (sometimes peaceful, sometimes quite out of my comfort zone), and yet the body is primed for meditation in a way that I’ve never experienced before. ??
I’ll absolutely continue through the full 10-weeks of the program and am enjoying my re-contextualized relationship with the cold (this week I'm supposed to take five 10-minute cold showers!) as we continue to move into winter. ??
Who the WHM is for: if you often feel ‘numb’ to reality–as though you’re moving through the actions of living but not feeling vibrantly alive–this program will punch through that illusion and bring you back to your senses (literally!)
Who the WHM is NOT for: if you’re merely intrigued or curious about the Wim-Hof Method, that will be insufficient for getting you through the program. This is work, and it’s not easy. It’s not physically demanding–it’s mentally and emotionally demanding in a way other physical activity is not.
There are two upcoming workshops on the Wim-Hof Method in Charlotte and I plan to attend the advanced one so that I can experience a full body ice bath ?? (which I don't have the setup to do at home):
领英推荐
If you’re interested in attending, please let me know, as I’d love to have some company!
?? More from The Great Man Within Podcast
Back in late 2021, DQ recorded a series of 13 podcast episodes aimed to help the men in his community plan for a bigger and better 2022.
Each episode tackles an important topic that relates to a life well lived and stepping into your mature masculine potential.
I’ve listened to the first three episodes and, if you’re ready to raise your eyes to the horizon and begin planning for 2024, I highly encourage making time to listen to them:
There is fantastic discussion in that first episode (about the 5 questions) that I highly recommend you listen to.
The questions are as follows:
If you don’t have time to listen to the podcast this week, you can also find a complete list of all 10 questions (the podcast only addresses five of them) in this article here.
?? Big Girl Breakfast
My oldest daughter just turned 7 in November and, believe it or not, it’s already time to start talking to her about intimacy, attraction, and sex. ??
My wife is always on the lookout for good books about what we should know as parents and about how best to support the healthy development of our children, and this book “Talk To Me First” is a goldmine when it comes to talking to your kids about this stuff.
Neither of our parents spent much time talking to US about body parts, feelings, urges, touching (oneself or others), and ‘all the things’ that kids experience as they mature and become more social, and so we experienced a lot of confusion that might have been prevented.
In fact, there’s still a lot of stuff neither of us has EVER talked about with a partner, and this book has allowed us, as adults, to open up communication around sex and intimacy and pleasure in ways that have been very empowering (and fun!) ??
One of the main points made in this book is that talking about sex isn’t something that’s done once and then checked off the list–it’s an ongoing series of conversations throughout the years (no different than how you would talk to your kids again and again about investing, schooling, sports, etc.)
So, it was important for us to create a container to:
A fancy breakfast without our youngest at the table seemed like the perfect venue for kicking off this new ritual, which we plan to do every few months for as long as we've got her at home.
Time's up for this week ??
?? Before we go, if you like this newsletter, please share it with your friends and family.
It would help a lot ??
See you again next Tuesday.
Hanna
?? Work with James
If you're feeling 'stuck' in a difficult relationship that you can't easily walk away from and want to to ensure 2024 isn't a repeat of 2023, let's hop on the phone and chat about what's going on.
I'm confident we can hash out a plan to get the results you're after, even if you've given up hope of this relationship ever being different than it is right now.