What Really Makes You Happy

Today, I woke up with this question on my mind. Maybe because I had this discussion with a friend or maybe because it is a question that I have been asking myself of late.

Here’s a clue…

IT IS NOT A PERSON, PLACE, OR THING.

You might enjoy a person’s company, their touch, and how they smell when they are close. But they can not sustain making you happy. It’s exhausting.

A place may be relaxing, beautiful, and feel right, but if you stay for a while, you realize that you have brought you and your issues along and this initial feeling will diminish.

It’s not a thing. There is joy in finding that perfect outfit, decoration, or artifact but the elation you feel is transitory and disappears within days, and sometimes hours.

So, what is it that really makes you happy?

Let’s start by making a list of what really makes you unhappy. When you do this be brutally honest with yourself. This is your list, and you never have to share it with anyone. I’ll start with a few of my own.

?? Feeling lonely, especially around other people. This is a feeling of not fitting in and being judged.

??Feeling stuck. Either in a job, a relationship, or in a place. I feel the walls closing in on me in these situations.

??Feeling manipulated. When someone is “setting me up” to fail or as “the fall guy” or even to succeed, I feel out of control.

Did you notice a theme here? What makes me unhappy are feelings. Why? Because unhappiness is a feeling. Not a person. Place, or thing.

So, the golden key to really feeling happy is knowing what you don’t want, then knowing what you do want, and learning who you are and loving every bit of that.

Take your “don’t want” list and create another list, things you absolutely want in your life. Let’s try it with mine.

??Feeling lonely. Seeking approval from others means I bury who I am in order to meet their needs. I want to know me enough, so judgement is no longer my issue.

??Feeling stuck. This is a big one for me. Freedom feeds my soul. I want to create my life in such a way that I can come and go, floating in and out of places and relationships with people who understand life is transitory and I deeply desire living in the flow of that stream.

??Feeling manipulated. You can imagine that if freedom is deeply important to me, being manipulated feels like I am in a straitjacket. In the past I remained in these situations believing I could “fix things.” What is important now is that I understand there is a boundary people can not cross and the consequences are I ask you to stop, and next time I leave.

Be specific in making your list of things you absolutely do want and be specific. Then list the things you absolutely can do right now to step closer to making those things happen. Then…do it.

This is a four-step process.

1. Clearly identify what you don’t want.

2. Clearly identify what you, therefore, do want.

3. Be specific about steps to take to what you want.

4. Take action on those steps.

It sounds so simple, but I will tell you, I did not do this on my own. I still turn to mentors for guidance, and I am eternally grateful for those I did have in my life that held my hand as I navigated this journey, we call life.

What really makes you happy?

Knowing the truth about you. Knowing the truth about Self. Knowing that this is just a journey. A Journey to Enlightenment.

#enlightenment #empowerment #journeytoenlightenment