What Really Bugs Me About (some) Introverts

As an introvert I fully understand how challenging certain situations can be. Interacting with strangers, pretending to be sociable when I just don’t want to be, and constant stimulation draining my energy. But what I’m increasingly seeing is introversion being used as an excuse for lack of ownership and accountability for one’s personal circumstances.

Using Introversion As An Excuse

For research purposes I spend a lot of time on social media. I dig around in forums and support groups where introverts hang out and I would say 70% of what I read comes across as whining. I know, that sounds harsh - but it's true. I would also go as far as saying that some groups are just one huge pity party for introverts who succumb to the label they’re given, who live up to the expectations of the judgement from others and do nothing for introvert advocacy.

Yes we require more solitude to recharge, but that doesn’t mean we spend every waking moment alone, and completely avoiding social situations is unhealthy. We still need human connection, even if it’s scheduled sparingly. Saying “I’m an introvert so I can’t” puts limits on ourselves that aren’t necessarily true.

The Need For Human Connection

That’s not to diminish social anxiety and yes, this can and does co-exist in introversion but they’re not the same thing. Leaning too heavily on the introvert label can prevent us from living full and satisfying lives. I’ve seen introverts make huge progress simply by starting with small social goals. Like the client who would cry in every session because of how awkward she felt in social settings and trying to break into friendship groups at work. In our last session she told me she’d finally booked the holiday she’d always wanted to go on and was heading off to Japan with a group of strangers.

The Roots Of My Frustration

Why does this bother me so much? Because my choice of work is centred purely and simply on helping people realise their potential. Supporting them while they figure out how to leverage that potential and live the best life they can. When I observe a client move from being stuck in a particular area of their life, to finding the courage to spread their wings and achieve what they once thought impossible, there’s not a feeling like it. And what’s really great about it is that I’m not doing the heavy lifting, they are. They are finding the answers within themselves with the support of my unconditional belief that they can succeed.

To think there are so many people, with so many talents not living their best life goes beyond sad, it’s immensely frustrating.

Owning Our Introversion

My point is that introversion explains some of how we behave, but it doesn’t define our capabilities. We need to own our natural tendencies while also being self-aware, and not use it as a convenient excuse to avoid challenge and growth. We’re not a special species and we shouldn’t expect to be treated like one.

As an introvert myself, I do empathise with how difficult it can be to navigate this personality trait, but only to a point. I also believe we can thrive socially and professionally if we balance our needs and utilise our strengths.

We have so much potential if we own our introversion rather than hide behind it.

I work with female introverts in tech sales to help them become visible so they can get promoted .

If you’d like to talk to me about your career advancement you can book a call here .

Why not join my new Facebook group for introverted executives and quiet professionals. A space to unite with fellow introverts, share your challenges and get fantastic support.