What reading books I don’t like teaches me about Change Management

As I was scrolling through my social media account while waiting for coffee to be ready one morning, I stumbled upon a post that made me laugh: “Know why an empty bottle of wine is better than a full one? It shows you know how to finish what you start. That’s an achievement. Be proud.” Filled with this new sense of pride, I started to look around for other achievements. I saw a bar of chocolate… which reminded me of strength, according to American writer and newspaper journalist Judith Viorst: “Strength is the ability to break a bar of chocolate into four pieces with your bare hands, but only eat one of those pieces.” I am not strong. Just proud.

Moving on, and out of the kitchen, I passed by a coffee table filled with the books delivered the day before. And there it was, the inspiration for this week’s piece – what reading teaches me about Change Management. To make it more challenging, what reading books I don’t like teaches me about Change Management.

Just in case it will turn out you don’t like it, I do hope you will stop for a second to ponder whether to quit or keep on reading… who knows, it might just grow on you.  

Be intentional in learning about what you don’t like. Your taste is shaped on the go, by every book you read. And there comes a point where you can predict quite accurately whether you would like a book based on genre, author, topic. You learn to spot small differences across the bestsellers’ lists, therefore you will be more inclined to follow some recommendations and celebrated pieces over others. My high-school history teacher used to give us reading recommendations. He would go around the class asking us what we read and whether we liked it or not. If the answer was ‘Yes, I liked it”, he would smile and move on. He only asked more when the answer was “No, I didn’t like the book.” He would come sit down close to you, and ask you to tell him more about what you didn’t like. That taught me to be intentional in learning about what I don’t like, and understand it. Little by little, I started to be able to say whether I found the plot interesting, but the writing really bad. Or that the characters were too cliché. Maybe the dialog felt… off, like something a person would not say in real life. Reading books I don’t like teaches me to frame and define issues and problems. To look at “why” a little differently. And these are good lenses for Change Management. Understanding what doesn’t work, and going deeper to uncover why it doesn’t work, are critical for transformations. They say life is too short to be spent reading bad books (or the ones you realize you don’t like). Reading (any kind of) books is a waste of time only if you don’t let them change you.

Do you quit or keep going? When is it fair to make the final decision that you do not like a book? Before you even buy it, based on reviews and your taste? After the first ten pages? The first one hundred pages? Do you quit reading or finish the book no matter what? I do agree with mystery writer and poet Edgar Allen Poe on setting reading boundaries: “I intend to put up with nothing that I can put down.” Yet this would have made me give up on a book that had a most meaningful impact on my life – the first fifty pages were pure torture, I felt like a “squirrel pushing through jam” (an expression I picked up from a book, and I found it quite vivid), but then I hit the life-changing motherload. At the same time, Thomas Mann’s “The Magic Mountain” is my absolute Sisyphus reading. I started it seven times, and the furthest I got was page 314. Could I ever read it? Maybe, if I get stranded on a deserted island, with nothing else but this one book… after I counted - and named!!! - the sand particles on the beach… There is always the change curve, and it takes some time to adjust. As you grow to understand what it is that you like or not about a book, the same happens with change and organizations. Some projects simply have those initial fifty pages that feel like “a squirrel pushing through jam”. One common trait of great novels is the writer’s ability to hook readers and keep them hooked. Letting readers wander around in their own heads is like letting them off the hook. Does this sound like Change Management work to you? Understand that people get hooked to different things, and even more importantly with different speeds. Whether you quit or keep going also depends on how well you understand what people don’t like, and why they don’t like it. There is always the possibility of a plot twist.

Sit through the conversations you don’t like, and stand by your “because”. My inner teenage rebel was on such a high every time it had the opportunity to say in history class “Yes, I read that book, and I didn’t like it. Because…” Years later I realized those reading homeworks taught me patience and resilience to sit through things I didn’t like, understand what I didn’t like, and stand by my “because”. Just like you come across books you don’t like, you find yourself in conversations or situations you don’t like. If you choose to sit through these and not walk away, make sure to sit by your “because”. Really listen and understand, and then say what you think, what you agree or disagree with. Reading books I don’t like teaches me I first need to read them to be able to have my “because”. We have two eyes and one mouth. We also have two ears and one mouth, and we should use them in this proportion. Read and listen, then speak. And just to clarify, there are conversations and situations you absolutely must stand up and quit. All the (self)discovery work with going through as many and diverse books and situations as possible will help you finetune your filter.

A great takeaway for Change Management work comes from American writer and journalist Lionel Shriver: “Reading time is precious. Don't waste it. Reading bad books, or books that are wrong for a certain time in your life, can dangerously turn you off the activity altogether.” Remember this next time you deal with “change resistance” on your project. Maybe people went through bad experiences, or badly-timed initiatives. Help them rediscover change. Just like you would recommend a great book to someone you care about, tell them why this particular change is good for them.

Until next week, happy reading and… be proud!