What Pushed Me Over the Edge in My Career?

What's your scariest thought buried deep down within?

For me, it's standing at the edge of a cliff or anything overlooking height.

In reality, I can choose NOT to be near anything too high. Avoiding tall buildings, bungee jumping, and cliffs, looking over the edge.

But...imagine being scared EVERY DAY, and this fear dictates how you live every minute.

It's all-encompassing and all-consuming. Your thoughts, your actions and your conversations.

Well, that fear engulfed my life 10 years ago. I felt like I stood on the cliff edge for 10 years.

That edge wasn't the fear of running out of money, homelessness or losing my husband.

It was the fear of spending another 30 years doing a job I hated.

The fear of dreading Mondays and Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays AND Fridays.

The fear of spending another:

• 360 months on month-end reporting.
• 30 budget cycles.
• +500 useless meetings.
• 30 performance reviews.
• endless hours (approximately 62,400 of them) buried in spreadsheets.
• 30 years of being told what to do.

You get the drift.

I am so happy for you if you don't feel this fear.

But have you ever let something scare you so that you become motionless, numb, lost, and depressed?

I was depressed...for a long time.

My ingrained need to be a "high achiever" added to this. It's been part of my DNA ever since I was young.

(It's probably my cultural background and my parents, who were blue-collar workers, pushing us to be "better" than them by getting a "better" job - a desk job.)

This made me a mess. An utter mess.

I needed to achieve at work because of my DNA, but I hated the work.

This conflict led to many tears, negative self-talk and hating being told what to do (especially when I didn't agree with the boss).

This behaviour manifested into a vicious cycle, and I kept looking for the "perfect" job.

In the meantime, I fought endlessly with my bosses. Fighting the "good" fights...but what I was feeling was being TRAPPED. A cage that I can't get out of.

It's all my fault that I stood on the edge for so long

What happened next?

I got sick of ME.

If I was to change, then it's up to me.

So, during my 40th birthday trip alone to Hawaii, standing at the top of Diamond Head. I made a decision.

I decided to use this FEAR to motivate me to make a change.

I needed to get out. If I didn't do anything, I had no right to bitch and moan anymore.

So, I put a plan together and embarked on a self-discovery journey.

Firstly, I reflected on what brought me joy. It turned out that I was passionate about helping others.

I reflected on my skills and how I can monetise them in that context.

Then coaching was an option.

Truthfully, that was as far as I got.

I didn't do a business plan or any detailed planning.

Next, I just ACTED.

I started coaching for free to gain experience and learn the craft.

I created the CFO, Coffee and Coach (CCC) sessions, where I invited CFO to sit with 6 coachees to listen to their stories. I offered my experience in those sessions.

I didn't make a cent.

Money was not the motivator. I just wanted to learn.

This renewed energy from my side passion project had a halo effect on my corporate job.

I became more focused and driven to gain every skill set that would be useful in my coaching.

I had a different purpose.

The shitty moments were still there, but I quickly shrunk my focus to my exit plan. I refocus on the 3 key skills I need to build from corporate to use in my coaching.

I still fought with the bosses (mind you, they weren't all perfect, and some were bullies).

So, I also made different job decisions.

I took a +$50k pay cut to do a start-up role, so I could learn e-commerce and how to run a business on a small scale.

In the meantime, I kept building my coaching and seeing coachees' life change fuelled me even more.

The rest is what you read each day in my posts.

It didn't happen overnight. It hasn't been all rainbows and unicorns.

I worked hard for four years. I mean, really grinded doing my corporate gig, coached on the weekends and weeknights, and took my children to coach.

It's been hard work with lots of moments of "What the fu*k am I doing" and "Have I done the right thing leaving my cushy, well-paid corporate job?".

Those questions remain to be answered, truthfully.

One thing is certain. I am definitely a lot happier, less stressed and more aligned with my core.

The feeling of not relying on a job, working the hours I want and how I do things is utter freedom.

And that feeling no money can buy.

More importantly, I have transformed my life.

I simplified my lifestyle. I am living within my means to have this freedom.

I no longer need the STUFF to feel validated, the $3k handbag to show people I have made it...those types of things.

I only need to impress ME.

Why am I sharing this with you?

I am sharing this experience to inspire you if you're living in fear.

You can use your fear to inspire you to TAKE ACTION.

If I didn't take action to start my side passion project, I'd be 15 years into standing on that edge, staring down another 25 years of dragging myself to work.

Yes, sometimes the material things (a big house, fame, nice car, titles or status) motivate us to change.

But the need to STOP the pain could be your motivation.

If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be,

"Don't be afraid to be afraid. Use fear to its fullest and just take action".