What the prospect said vs. What the prospect is saying

Most of the time we only hear what people say, not what they are really saying. What we mean is we only hear the words that come out from their mouth and not what they really want to express.

If for example after a long day at work I went to a sari-sari store, I would tell Lola na nagtitinda or Ate na nagtitinda na I want coke. “Isang coke nga….” I tell her. She gives me a coke. What Ate na nagtitinda or Lola na nagtitinda hears is I want coke. But what I am really saying is “It’s been a very long day at work and I need some rest and take a break, Imma sit in your bench and drink coke as a way to take a break from all the fuss in the world!!!”

Sounds confusing? When the tindera heard what I say, they merely took those words and respond to those words. When I said I want coke, she only heard that I want coke. But the reason I want coke is not just because coke is good; but rather I had a long day at work and all I want right now is a break and drinking coke at their sari-sari store watching people and cars pass by is relaxing and can take my mind off work. The tindera would not understand that and why would she unless she has a crush on me?

In simple terms, the tindera only heard what I said but not how or why I said what I said. To be fair, the tindera does not have to know that. Unless of course she has a crush on me.

In the Greek language of the Bible; the “Word of God” is often referred in two definition: logos and rhema. Anybody who has a background on theology or Christianity or religion (either from attending church or studying a subject on theology during college) are familiar with this concept. Logos mean the written word of God or the words recorded on the Bible. It is objective. It is the tangible word. It is what is literally written. Rhema meanwhile means the interpretation of those words. It is subjective and has layers of meaning. May laman yung salita.

So when Jesus said “If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also” and we take it as Logos or what is literally said; we would literally offer our left cheek when someone slaps our right cheek. If for example the beautiful Liza Soberano slaps my right cheek, based on what Jesus said, I would also let her slap my left cheek. And that would even be a privilege

But what Jesus is actually saying with “If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also” is that we have to make peace with our enemies at all cost even if it means you humbling yourself and not exacting revenge. That is Rhema. May laman yung salita.

To simplify it: What the other person says is just Logos.

What the other person is saying is Rhema.

When I said I want coke, that is Logos. But why I want that coke and what the coke actually meant to me is Rhema.

So wait…..what does this all have to do with selling?

Often times, when we listen and hear prospects, we only hear what he says…we only hear his logos. When the prospect says “Pag-usapan muna naming mag-asawa…..”; we only hear na he and his wife is going to discuss it first. But often don’t hear what the prospect is actually saying. We don’t hear his rhema.

As master sales guru Jordan Belfort said; these objections the prospect is throwing at us are just merely smoke screens of what they are really concerned about. In short, this “pag-usapan muna naming mag-asawa” has a deeper meaning. It has a rhema component in it.

What they say are just merely words and expression. Kung baga outside appearance lang. Either they are just making excuses or they are just not communicating properly. (And almost all of us are bad at communicating. We cannot fully express what we want to say or what is in our mind.)

But in reality though, their logos has a rhema. What they are saying has meaning that through looking from their perspective or what they have been through or what their pain points are or what their uncertainty about what we are selling is, we might understand what they are actually saying.

In short; only through putting ourselves in the shoes of the prospect and understanding his perspective can we know what he is actually saying in what he says or what the rhema is to his logos. And through answering the question “Why he said what he said”; we can get a glimpse of what he is actually saying.

If the prospect said at the end of the conversation na “pag-usapan muna naming mag-asawa” and we try to look at what he said from his perspective and why he said what he said; we might get what he is actually saying and we can do something about it. Maybe he just don’t feel that your product can help him and he just wants to exit gracefully. Maybe he doesn’t want to make and be accountable to a bad decision that is why he really wants to talk to his wife para maipasa niya yung responsibilidad. Maybe your presentation has some features in it that he does not feel comfortable with and just wants to exit gracefully

And once we understand what he is really saying; we can help him solve his problems in which our product can help him with or the uncertainty he feels on what is holding him back from the purchase. Only through knowing and understanding the prospect can we make smart assumptions on what he is actually saying. This is why gathering information and being empathetic is utmost important in selling and marketing.

So remember: hear and listen what others are saying not what others say. Look for the rhema, not just the logos.

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