What Is Power?

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Welcome back to Uplifting Conversations!

This week we’re talking about soft power. What is it? How does it work? When should I consider it??

Soft Power

I don’t know about you, but I spend a lot of time thinking about what I don’t have. At times, I regret not having enough force to exercise my will, and I often apologize when I can’t defeat obstacles. In these instances, I often feel like a failure for not having “power.”

But what is power?

What is this force that we think we lack? Why do we want it, and what’s wrong with it? Most imagine power as the strength to coerce others, exerting whatever energy’s needed to turn an idea into a reality, come hell or high water.

According to this thinking, if we just got the right job title, personality, and leverage, we could issue perfect plans. Many assume that if they could only gather enough might, they could overcome each conflict and achieve every success.

When I find myself thinking this way, I challenge myself to rethink power. Sure, many ventures succeed through sheer determination, and all kinds of stories make heroes of those who conquer the opposition. But inclusivity is a different kind of plan that requires a different kind of power.

In fact, unlike most initiatives, the less force you have the more successful you’ll be. Why? The less ability I have to bark commands, the more likely I am to communicate. The fewer people I have working under me, the more I have to work with them. In short, the less “power” I have to impose my ideas on others, the more I have to include them. And the more people I include when creating inclusivity plans, the more successful those plans will be.

How can this be? Usually, what we take for “power” is only a particular kind of power. But there is another type that we often overlook: “soft power.” If power compels others to accept my will, soft power convinces others to join me in deciding what our will should be. If power steamrolls foes, soft power sees every current opponent as a future ally. Power seeks to change others. Soft power looks to change with them.?

Some of the people I’ve seen make the most successful inclusivity efforts are those that have had the least amount of power. Because they didn’t have the job title that gave them authority over people, they had to spend more time working alongside people. When they didn’t have the influence that got them heard, they had to listen. Instead of imposing their individual will, they got that rare and precious chance to work with the communication, compassion, and compromise needed to discover the will of everyone. Convinced they lacked the power that would grant them success, they turned to the often ignored soft power that would increase their likelihood of achieving it.

What about you? When it comes to your DEI strategy, are you spending a lot of time thinking about what you don’t have? Facing your obstacles, do you wish you had the position, resources, or personality that would make you feel unstoppable? Do you fear your initiatives will fail because you lack power??

If so, take a second look. The restrictions that keep you from your goals might be precisely the thing that drives you to others. Maybe the limitations that undermine your force to overcome opponents are the same things that will help you earn buy-in from them. In the end, if you feel “powerless,” you might have the exact humility, patience, and collaborative spirit needed to achieve the kind of sustainable and authentic inclusivity that only comes from soft power.??

So how do I exercise “soft power”?

Soft power can achieve inclusivity where other tactics fail. But how do we practice it? Here are a few tips.

1. Ask questions early

Usually, leaders come up with plans in a vacuum then try to convince people to support it. Thinking we’re looking for input from others, we’re usually just seeking approval for some decision we’ve already made. Fight this urge! Instead of getting an agreement for a plan you’ve already finalized, get feedback on how to form the plan in the first place. To achieve this, ask for thoughts widely, even from people you think won’t have anything to add. Ask questions early, long before you think you even have the beginnings of an answer. Start before your thinking starts to pile up with preconceived ideas. Begin while you’re more likely to listen to what others have to say instead of cherry-picking the soundbites that prove you right. To increase transparency, invite people to be a part of the process from the onset. Doing so, soft power gives them greater ownership over your DEI plans from the start and gives you more time to earn their backing.?

2. Focus on the how

Many inclusivity efforts center on arguments about the state of reality. Focused on “what” questions, many spend their time trying to make philosophical assertions, trying to prove the pervasiveness of things like bias, privilege, and microaggressions. Concentrating on “why,” others use their energy to persuade others to accept a particular political, ethical, or moral worldview. But if you think you don’t have the power to make theoretical arguments, don’t forget the benefits of “how” questions. “How can we make our organization more inclusive?” “How can we foster a deeper sense of belonging?” Keep questions broad enough to give respondents freedom in their answers. At the same time, narrow attention on continuous improvement. Even if people insist your company is inclusive enough, give them ownership over how they might make a good situation even better. Some confront others to try and prove a point, but soft power works with others to improve conditions.?

3. Incorporate opposition?

As a DEI consultant, I’ve seen many leaders confuse unity with uniformity. Convinced their authority rests on a unanimous agreement, they avoid, ignore, and even stamp out disagreement. While power sees resistance as something to be defeated, soft power sees it as something to be incorporated. Instead of seeing dissent as an obstacle to overcome, inclusive leaders see it as an opportunity to be absorbed. Every middle manager who’s heard that DEI is “reverse discrimination,” every team member who thinks it’s a great idea but has no idea where they’ll find the time to implement it, every board member who worries that discussing social groups compromises financial stability--these supposed contradictions become necessary counterpoints. The inclusivity efforts that are sustainable find ways to remain true to their core principles while also finding common ground with opponents. Rather than assuming you must use your plan a to defeat their plan b, find ways to fuse the two into a plan c neither of you could devise on your own and could only refine together in ways that are most beneficial for the greatest number of people.

So…

The next time you think your DEI plan will fail because you don’t have power, look for ways to exercise the soft power that is most effective, sustainable, and inclusive!?

If the question remains, “What is Soft Power?”

I say, “It’s the power that YOU can harness, no matter where you are standing.”

For more insight on some of your burning questions, I invite you to “Ask me Anything” once a week Live on LinkedIn. New 2022 dates to be disclosed!

Our fellow cohort has a few words to share with you…..

Dr. Johné Battle is the Vice President of Diversity and Inclusion for Dollar General Corporation and oversees the strategy for diversity, equity, and inclusion for over 157,000 associates.?

He is no stranger to power and the stages that it entails.

How can you lead better no matter soft power or other amounts?

• ?Measuring success
• The importance of grit and a growth mindset as a key for success, and defining those characteristics
• The relationship between our individual journeys of DEI, and bringing that to the workplace as a leader

Catch Up With Deanna!

I recently did a podcast by the name of “Grace Over Grind Podcast” you can listen here. But a huge moment we had was realizing this, “If you’re focused on yourself, you’ve already missed the boat!”

Some immediate ways Uplifting Impact is overhauling workplace culture:

• Professional DEI Certification Program
• Uplifting Impact Podcast
• “How to Be an Ally” Virtual Summit

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Being an #ALLY is ongoing work. Any uplifting impact we make now, no matter how big or small, will build a better world for future leaders and generations to come. So, let’s keep working together to affect change. Subscribe to continue these Uplifting Conversations!?