Is this what the perfect leader looks like?

In this second instalment of my series, Failure is Fantastic, it’s time to explore why good leaders embrace their mistakes (and try not to be a rat).

First, a bit of preamble for readers: I’m looking forward to hearing your feedback on this, because in some sense there is no such thing as a perfect leader — or if there is, much like the perfect sandwich, everyone has a different definition (for the record, the perfect sandwich is ham, cheese and pickle on a baguette. Discuss.)

Nevertheless, if you want to get good at leadership you need to ask, continually, what those qualities are so you can work towards them — learning from your failures all along the way.

Qualities like…

1. Being a cheerleader

In the acting world, there’s a principle in improvisation called “yes, and…”. It means that when a scene partner improvises that they’re an alien with three heads, you go with it, and help them build upon that world.

That’s a quality I try to embody. If someone brings an idea to me, I respond with: “Hey, that's great. But have you thought about adding this element?” It’s about asking them, “How do you make what you have here bolder? How do you really push out the boundaries and think about something more broadly than you could have at first imagined?”

If you don’t actively create this cheerleading style, you might regret it. There’s a story that Steve Wozniak tells: before he came to Apple, he was working at Hewlett-Packard. As a side project from developing HP’s scientific calculators, on weekends ‘the Woz’ would work on something more earth-shattering: the design of a personal computer.

According to Wozniak, he “begged” HP to make the computer, and they turned him down five times. Instead, a certain Steve Jobs took an active, encouraging interest in what would eventually become the Apple I computer. The rest, as they say, is history.

2. Acting as the calm port in the storm

You don’t need me to tell you we are in epically challenging times right now. We’re all feeling it. In these times, we need someone to go to who can be the calming influence. Again, I try to be that person for my colleagues.

I’m lucky in that even when things go up the creek, I seldom get upset. Instead, I try to reframe my reaction, and be interested in what we’ve learned from the experience and how we can take the good from something bad.

Tips to keep calm and carry on:

- Tell yourself, we’re not in a life-or-death situation here.

- Don’t get overwhelmed. Any intimidating problem can be reduced to smaller, more manageable chunks.

- Start moving. Too often when we’re stressed, we freeze. It’s like being confronted by a huge boulder: if you just stare at it, nothing will happen. So confront it, take steps to analyse and start solving, bit by bit. Before you know it, you’ve got something magical happening called momentum.

3. Keep course-correcting

Speaking of boulders: don’t be one. Be flexible. You know why machine learning programmes are so eerily effective? Because they use reinforcement tools and algorithms which allow them to perform an action, learn what went wrong and repeat it again with better data.

I think an effective leader does the same. They are people who have to be willing to adjust regularly and are less likely to be renowned for one or two certain narrow character qualities. Instead, they are quite comfortable being wrong — saying, “We tried X and it didn’t quite work, now let’s refine it to X 2.0.”

Hungry for more ways to make failure work for you? Read my piece on Why winners love misfires

4. Leaving your ego at the door

I'm allergic to people that have big egos. People that lack real purpose and are just in it for the financial success. I'm not sure I would even rate that type of ‘success’ as successful. Luckily, I've been fortunate to work for people who are more grounded, more interested in life rather than just being the CEO of a big shiny company.

Having said that, I didn’t always feel that way. When I was younger, I came to a point where I started to get caught up in office politics, and it was leading me down a path where I became less authentic. One of the partners I worked for sensed that change in me. And in a world drowning with leadership quotes, he gave me some inspirational words I’ll never forget.

He said, “Look, if you're going to join the rat race, that's great. You'll have a successful life. You'll do well. But just remember that when you get to the end of that race, you're still a rat. So think about what you really want to do, and who you really want to be.”

That resonated with me. Because there will always be people in your industry with zeppelin-sized egos. But the leaders that I am drawn to aren’t interested in themselves. They’re curious about your point of view. If you're on their team, they make an effort to actively understand your strengths and make sure that they put you in the right places to allow that strength to shine.

5. No really, leave your ego at the door

There’s a story I heard about a guy who ran the engineering function at somewhere like Google, and they held open forums every week. This very senior manager chaired the discussion where all of his engineers would join, and they would talk about current projects.

The leader is running through one of the ways of working, and at one point an engineer in this massive crowd hollers, “You’re wrong.” The head of the team says, huffily, “Well, I'm telling you I'm totally right, this is what the answer is.”

And the guy in the crowd still said, “Nope, you're wrong.”

The leader replies, “Okay, you've raised this point, explain to me why I'm wrong.”

So for half an hour, these guys were having this vigorous public debate as an entire crowd watches with bated breath (for the junior engineer to be fired, probably). The head who ran this whole team of thousands of people, and someone who was about six reporting lines below him, were squabbling.

And 25 minutes into their debate, the team head turns around and says: “You know what? You’re right. I now violently disagree with myself. We’re going to change the way we do this.”

Now that's leadership.

So, the perfect leader: I’d love to hear your thoughts. What are the key qualities that embody leadership to you?