What are outer trappings of success ?

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?????? ???????? ?????? ???? ???? ???? ???????? ???? ?????????? ?????????????????????– because majority of people make decisions based on past emotional experience, they look at the past what can go wrong and make one side decisions coming from unbalanced perceptions and fixed mindsets. Their decisions based on the known.

Guess what happens you again recreate the same known maybe a bit different known, but it is still the same recurring problem, same challenges running like “Hamster in a wheel” trying to tick boxes all your life.

This doesn’t’ need to be this way.?

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We can use neuroplasticity of our brain to identify fixed mindsets and move to growth mindsets.

People often confuse a growth mindset with being flexible or open minded or with having positive thinking.

The truth is it is about deeply rooted belief that you and others can develop your creative abilities, your zone of genius to thrive in your company, your business, your life.

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Research shows that neurological response to image of love and gratitude suppresses the primitive brain’s threat in Amygdala “Fight or Flight” response that only wants you to do three things hide, run and fight.

See the global pandemic and what some refer to as “ change fatigue” has brought this even more to the fore, as there is real need right now to have skills to be able to adapt to an ever-changing world that’s become part of your day to day lives.?

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Nothing is ever good or bad, you perceive things as you are not as they are simply because you don’t have circuitry in your brain to perceive things differently.

When you have balanced perception doesn’t matter what tragedy you are going through you can approach each situation coming from the place of love and gratitude.?

I have a strong belief that you can do so much better than you do now, even if you think that you already living a good life I believe you have so much more untapped potential to live truly joyful and fulfilling life in your zone of genius.

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It has been scientifically proven that our thoughts regulate our genes and that DNA don’t control operations of our cells!

Now tension between conscious will power and subconsciously memorized programs can result in serious neurological disorder. I’m walking truth of that. I have very strong will power and because of not understanding the power of subconscious programs until I was 40, I was running unconsciously on learned perceptions of others my parents, teacher e.t.c. they become my beliefs I didn’t know how to questions them.

I was using my conscious will power for 40 years which resulted me getting sick with three autoimmune conditions and becoming absolutely numb in feeling anything.

The sum of our genetically programmed instincts and the beliefs we learned from our parents, teacher, news collectively form the fundamental programs in the subconscious mind.

Now let’s talk about success. So many people misunderstanding this word and always want more and more to prove themselves usually to their parents or to fill up emptiness they deeply feel.

There is a good distinction: "You can’t have more of what you don’t really need".

Success is not all about money. Money is energy it is extension of success that allows us to have feeling of comfort to be able to do what we love doing and experiencing in life. But if you are focused on money, you are missing a point.

There is so many successful people full of money but empty inside, never satisfied they can’t even enjoy their money.

In reality it is never about money it is about feelings we want to experience! ?Working towards your dreams and goals become much easier when you get your mind and your brain working with you and not against you!

Majority of people want something because they think that it will make them feel happy. For example, you want a house or more money because you think it will make you feel happy so they start to dream about getting a house and because they don’t have it, they experience lack and separation trying harder and harder to get what they want. And when they get it they quickly move to another thing and that feeling of emptiness, insecurity, lack, unworthiness is always present!

See it is not about trying harder all your life and then dying because more likely you will get sick. It means letting go of the stories and limiting beliefs you have told yourself or been given by your family and embracing the idea that you and you alone are responsible for the words and pictures in your head.

When you are happy on the inside even if your current circumstances don’t look this way good things tent do happen.

Marisa Peer International Therapist with 30 years of very successful practice saying : “ What I often find is that people who have the outer trappings of success without the internal work are even more unhappy than those how live more modest lives. But those who have both – outer and inner success are really on the top of the world.

This is why first it is so important to know your Highest Values in Life (Your purpose) and demonstrate them on all levels your career, health, relationship, recreation, friends, family. And I’m talking about you living according to your highest values not others!

A purpose is one thing for everyone: When you are doing it, you feel complete and total peace in the knowledge that this is what you mean to be doing. There is no such words like must, should, have to if you have this words in your vocabulary it indicates you are not living by your highest values, it is not your purpose.

It is something you love doing and when you do it, you forget about time!

Purpose – your highest values are not driven by ego, it is driven by your heart!

Now most of us have habits of thoughts we are just not aware of them. We engage is self-dialog without realizing that doing so is a choice that has major impact on how we think and how we feel, what we create in our reality and how it impacts our lives and lives of our kids.

In Psychology, these inner forces are often called “Saboteurs” and people allow them to affect their life consciously or unconsciously.

Whether It is Judge, the Controller, the Restless, the Stickler, the Pleaser, the Avoider , the Victim, the Hype-Vigilant , the Hyper-Achiever, or the Hyper-Rational, these saboteurs can run the show if we allow them! ?

As one research from Stanford University found: “Some of the world’s most outwardly successful people are ruled by their various saboteurs. Using negative emotions as fuel to push them, they will ultimately fall short of their true potential! ?

In other words, while this saboteurs can help them to get outward success and achievement via forcing and using strong conscious will such as perfectionism, workaholic, competitor, they will never experience true happiness and fulfilment in their lives. They will be always running empty trying to get next thing!

And guess what our body is not designed to live in “Fight or Flight” stressors for a long period of time, when your body is out of homeostatic state, your heart in incoherent , your brain is incoherent and you are getting various unexplained conditions, diseases, cancers.

In neuroscience we know that only 2% of diseases are genetic. Don’t you think that out of all our unexplained allergies, autoimmune disorders, cancers, heart diseases this is very small percentage!

You are your genetic engineer, you control your mind, your mind controls your brain, and your brain controls your biology.

The first Habit of thoughts – your mind always does what you tell it to do. Majority of people don’t realize that they live in modern world with the mind still living in “Cave Age” running on outdated instruction. Your mind is like a computer program if you don’t upgrade your computer, it will get viruses and stop working. Same with your mind!

Next habit of thought is words you say to yourself and pictures you make in your head. What are you rehearsing every day in your head? Become conscious of your unconscious thoughts, worries and behaviors. You can’t see a way out of a challenge if you are looking at it every day from the same level of mind, thoughts, feelings of your past.

Even if something fills you with fear, if you replace those images and words with a more neutral one, you can lessen the effect that a given event or occurrence has on you. For example, needle perceived by drug addict versus a nurse versus a someone with needle phobia.

For example I love acupuncture because my perception of needle is that it unblocks energy points in my body and helps the energy to move more smoothly and I focus my mind of feeling good after acupuncture, acupuncture is perceived by my brain as reward, versus someone I know that perceives needle as a danger and would never have acupuncture.

The difference is not in the needle but in the perception of it. You and only you have the power over these learned perceptions.

The third habit of thought – Make unfamiliar familiar, and familiar unfamiliar. Only this way you can change your life. The job of your mind is to keep you safe and alive always in familiar. Your mind perceives danger in unfamiliar.

If you think same thoughts, you feel same feelings and you make same choices, you create same experiences this leads to same behaviors and the loop back. Same behavior triggers same thoughts and same feelings. Everything in your biology, neurochemistry, hormones and even gene expression stay the same!

You and only you again have the power to change it.! That’s where real power lies.

The fifth habit is habit of Action – It is not enough to be aware of something you need to make decision and take Action. Doing things that you don’t like doing them first if it leads to achieving your dreams and goals in life. This what successful people do, they have the habit of doing things they don’t like first thing in the morning!

Either it is giving phone call to someone, making a pitch, writing one page of your book, exercising whatever your goal is. This is how you build your confidence and resilience and if you do it every day with the time it will become your habit.

In neuroscience in course that I teach we use 30-90 second rule to move through unpleasant emotions to make a habit of doing things we don’t like doing if they are important in achieving our goals in life.

Next habit of action is delaying gratification. Our brain is reward focused machine. If you set reward system big or small to delay gratification, you can teach yourself to delay gratification and enjoy its benefits later. It is self-discipline that you can have it all later.

I’m very good at delaying gratification I mentioned in my previous articles that my mum unconsciously taught me with the ball full of cherries when I was three years old how to delay gratification.

And I’m going to finish with last habit of thought deeply rooted belief that you are Enough, that you are worthy of whatever you desire.

Funny enough when I talk with people majority of them say I’m Worthy. But it is exactly like when majority of people say I have growth mindset and they don’t. So, feeling worthy on your conscious level is not enough.??

You can only trust, believe and surrender equally to your current emotional state so if you say I’m worthy, I’m healthy, Everything is good but your body feels unworthy, your body feels fear, lack, limitations, anger, frustration, vulnerability that thought that you are worthy and everything is good is not going to pass brain stem to make it to your central nervous system.

That means everything stays the same. You are not feeling worthy on deep subconscious level. There is cognitive dissonance between your subconscious beliefs and your goals and what you consciously know.

To wrap it up I want to emphasize the importance of power of repetition. Power of repetition is cumulative. There is no quick fix in this life with anything. If you planted in your mind faulty beliefs for 40 years, it is going to take time to replace them and this can be only done trough repetition. We know that it takes about 21 days to remove the belief and about 30-60 days to implant a new one.

Our brain is plastic and changing all the time through new experience, repetition and learning.

Talking about your past for years in a therapy chair stops being useful if you are not replacing the hurt and pain with new narrative “Marisa Peer” .

Ask yourself

Who I don’t want to be?

What thoughts I don’t want to think anymore?

What thoughts I want to fire and wire instead?

How do I want to feel?

What do I want to be remembered for?

What do I want to experience?

How often do I question my old beliefs if they serve me, if they are true , if they are mine?

What triggers my stress responses the most?

What do I want to change?

I have strong belief that everyone doesn’t matter how much success they have or don’t have can do so much better with less stress and anxiety than they do now.

When they know how to increase awareness and move from fixed mindsets and beliefs to growth mindset through learning removing the layers of subconscious beliefs and unfolding hidden potential your zone of genius to be able to thrive in life.

I have been very successful in helping individuals in leadership positions to identify what triggers their “Fight or Flight” responses their fixed mindsets, helping them to find time and space for themselves and also their families ultimately my approach helped them find solutions to their ongoing problems.

I have been also best client for myself, and I successfully healed three autoimmune conditions without touching drugs and build thriving and successful business for myself that is 100% aligned with my highest values in life which are: Freedom, Love, Health, Learning and Developing,?