What is that one thing...

What is that one thing in your life that you would do anything for?  

What is that one thing you would be willing to die for?    

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "if you don’t know what you are willing to die for, you are not fit to live.”  This is the very definition of passion, and living your truth.

What is that one thing that brings you true joy?  And yes, Joy is different from happiness.  Happiness is about what someone else says about you. Joy, is the language or self, to self.

What is that one thing you would do for free if you could afford to?

My favorite question when I meet someone is “what are you passionate about?”  It is my favorite question, because it gets to the core of what matters most.

Most people don’t have an easy answer to my passion-in-life question. For others it takes time, but eventually they come back with some form of response.  A response, often as differentiated from a real answer. 

The vast majority of people to my passion-in-life question default to the politically correct answer — family.  Meaning, they say they were passionate about their family.  This might in fact be true, but that’s not why most people answer this way.

Most answer this way because they believe that this is what society expects them to say, or worse, how they will ‘look’ to others. Or worse, that don't have a clue what their answer is, so they insert the only thing they know to be true: family.

Probably the most honest answer I have ever received to this question was when an older lady got very upset with me, simply for asking this question.  You see, I was messing with the very framework of her miserable inner life. She had all the lies and distractions from reality firmly installed in the cabin and cables of her life, and my probing question was challenging all of that. But I at least respected the fact that she answered with real emotions.

"What is that one thing we fear the most? We fear ourselves..."  Professor Pekka Himanen, Co-Founder, Global Dignity

Many people do not feel they can answer this question with real vulnerability, deep introspection and authenticity, and this is why a good number of people are not experiencing much true joy in their lives.  

Happiness is external and temporary, while joy — real joy — is internal and a permanent state of being.  

I have been happy and joyful, and I have been unhappy and joyful. But once you know what real joy is, you will never be un-joyful.

Finding true joy in your life — finally tapping into that special place in your soul — is directly connected to finding and being honest with yourself, about what that one thing is in your life.

The fact is, your family just might be that one thing, and that would be a truly beautiful thing.  What's your one thing?

Your children and being a parent might be that one thing.  

Your profession might be that one thing.  

Serving the poor might be that one thing.  

Traveling the world and exploring culture, might be that one thing.  

Cooking incredible food might be that one thing.    

Sports might be that one thing.

Creating art or song writing, might be that one thing.

Finding a cure to HIV/AIDS, or a cure for cancer, might be that one thing.  

Being a resource or a role model for children, particularly if you had a rough childhood yourself, might be that one thing.

Creating a life changing innovation, or building a new business, or becoming an entrepreneur and creating jobs, might be your one thing.

In each of our lives, there is one thing that matters most. 

Who knows, your one thing might be a combination of several of these things.

For me, it’s changing the world and eradicating poverty as we know it, in our lifetime. That's why I founded Operation HOPE, along with a series of other nonprofit organizations that are making a real impact, here and around the world. But it’s also taking care of those I love.  My immediate family.

It’s also expanding the very definition of family as we recognize it, to include all of God’s children.  

It's creating things that matter, and a commitment to excellence in all things.  It's living my truth, becoming reasonably comfortable in my own skin.  

It’s becoming a global citizen, and then doing something meaningful about the state of our crazy world.  It’s living life authentically, and not just strolling through life as if what we do -- doesn't matter. It’s a passion, for passion.

It doesn’t really matter what your one thing is. It only matters that you are honest enough, with yourself, to go and find it.  Because those that do not — those that avoid both asking and answering this life altering question — will forever find themselves ‘tired.’ Tired, when the lucky ones will merely be ‘worn out’ or ‘weary,’ as I outlined in my piece entitled Fire Being Tired.  

By the way, you always know when you have met someone who is not doing that one thing.  They are usually rude, not so nice people. They immediately are inclined to treat you like crap for no apparent reason, and are more focused on putting people down and criticizing everything in sight, than lifting people up and changing their world.

Put another way, when you are doing what you are passionate about, you may get worn out, wiped out, exhausted and even weary. You may not be able to type one more word on that Mac of yours at midnight, but you are not tired.  

You get tired, when you are not doing that ‘one thing.'

Want to be a success in life?  You want joy?  Figure out for yourself -- this week -- what that one thing is for you.

Okay, let’s go.

John Hope Bryant is the Founder, Chairman and CEO of Operation HOPE and Bryant Group Ventures, an Inc. Magazine/800-CEO-READ bestselling business author ofLOVE LEADERSHIP: The New Way to Lead in a Fear-Based World (Jossey-Bass). His newest bestselling book is How The Poor Can Save Capitalism: Rebuilding the Path to the Middle Class (Berrett Koehler Publishing).

Bryant is a Member of the U.S. President's Advisory Council on Financial Capability for Young Americans, co-founder of the Gallup-HOPE Index with the Gallup Organization, and co-chair for Project 5117, which is a plan for the rebirth of underserved America.

Bryant is the only bestselling author on economics in the world who is also of African-American descent.

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