What an Oatmeal Raisin Cookie can Teach Us About Strength and Compassion

That's the way the cookie crumbles

In my head, I see myself as an oatmeal raisin cookie.

Oatmeal raisin cookies are crisp on the edges, but moist and tender on the inside. They're sweet, rich. and an all-time favorite, but can easily crumble if not handled with care.

Like with cookies, sometimes life can dip us too far in a cup of milk and we can break. Things get overwhelming and we feel like we're drowning. These days we're going through tough times and jumping through many mental hoops just to get by.

Be yourself, whatever type of cookie

It's ok to be you. Any type of cookie, chocolate chip, macadamia, peanut butter, or anything.

Ok, enough about cookies, I’m getting hungry.

I mean you.

Yes, you. Your authentic self.

The one you wish people didn’t see, the one you hide and disclose when no one is watching, only to then re-enter the office (or the Zoom call) the way everyone accepts you to. That's the side you wish people would accept you for.

It takes a lot of courage to show your true colors and be 100%.

So be kind to yourself.

Sometimes I'm no different from a cookie

I can be extremely sensitive. Difficult situations and harsh judgment from people close to my heart can really upset me. Sometimes I break down suddenly, needing a good 20-30 minutes to cry, feel sad, helpless, and frustrated with myself for even going through this.

The pandemic has taught us that uncertainty can last more than just a few hours, days, or weeks. It can last months.

After a fight or an aggravating situation with a poor outcome, or simply when I feel misunderstood, I feel hopeless. Some events frustrate and overwhelm me to the point of needing to crumble into little tiny particles and then glue myself back together, piece by piece, to get up and be strong.

Many times, I wish I could be different. I’ve pondered taking meds, researching some sort of magic happy pill that would allow me to feel perpetually serene and keep my pieces glued together. I’ve listened to countless podcasts on how to avoid letting my emotions get the best of me, and the techniques work, but it's not human to always stay rational.

Even though I'm a big fan of self-development, I learned that it can get to a point of overload. Where who you are feels like it's never enough.

It was hard not accepting myself in the past, it took a lot more work to fight my inner thoughts and feelings than it was to embrace them.

After battling it, only recently I realized I didn’t need any of that. It’s OK to fall apart sometimes. I have a great support network, a bright future, and lots of ambition. I give my 110% most days, while in others it’s hard to carve out 20% of my overall willpower. On those days, I nurture my feelings, pinpoint the reason I'm feeling down, and contrast any negative thoughts with positive and grateful ones.

If sometimes you want to crumble like your favorite cookie, you’re still lovable and worthy of compassion, you’re not weak.

It takes courage to accept who you are, including all your ups and downs, and it takes even more bravery to express those feelings to someone else and let yourself be helped if needed.

Especially these days, we can all use and offer a helping hand.

Exposing your vulnerabilities is tough, the permeating fear of being rejected is real and not everyone can or will be there for you. But the right people will be.

If you fall to pieces you’re not permanently broken. As a matter of fact, you're not broken at all. You're rebuilding a newer, stronger version of yourself. Think of every version of you as a draft.

You're stronger than you think

You’re stronger than you think, and the ones who love you will be available and close, either physically or mentally.

Handpick the people who surround you and are allowed into your world. When you find someone worth their salt, let them in little by little. As fast or slowly as you’re most comfortable with. If they care, they'll stay and give you all the time you need to open up.

And trust me, the ones that care WILL stay.

Because they see you for who you are, someone who's able to give so much, but also needs to receive.

You are a beautiful person BECAUSE of every smooth or rough surface, curved or crooked side, that make up your body and soul.

Being who you are takes courage. I know it does; I get up every morning knowing that being my authentic self will pull some people towards me while pushing others away. And I like it like that. Oatmeal raisin cookies aren’t everyone’s thing, but those who like them really appreciate them — no matter what crumbling risk they may present.

Becoming a tough cookie

So don't beat yourself up for being down sometimes and break apart, it's part of your healing process from something upsetting.

Also, don't expect everyone to want to listen to your problems when this happens. Not everyone will understand, like, or accept your issues. But those people aren’t your audience. Your audience is made up of those who will stay by your side no matter what. The ones who know your worth.

So here's to being an oatmeal raisin cookie, a strong, tough cookie. You can do this.

If you liked this article, check out my blog for more.