What Number Are You?

I was watching our two Standard Poodles play at the park yesterday, they are brother and sister.

Our male Oliver (chocolate brown) is obsessed with the ball, (at the moment it is a yellow ball) it doesn’t matter where he is the yellow ball is his focus. Our Ruby (black) loves to watch him although if I throw the ball at the park, she is more than happy to run after it…

Since the passing of our Toy poodle, Abbee Devine last year these two dogs seem to share the pecking order. They alternate who is “Top Dog” depending on the activity, if it involves the ball Oliver reigns supreme. Ruby is the “Top Dog” in the car with regard to who sits where. ?

When Abbee Devine was alive, she was always in charge, one bark from her Ruby would shake from head to toe, and Oliver would stop and listen. 15yr old Abbee was big on disciplining these two youngsters even though they were 3 times her size. At the park, Ruby was not allowed to chase the ball if Abbee Devine wanted it. This was executed with a particularly loud high-pitched bark and Ruby would stop in her tracks. ??

Abbee Devine ruled the roost, this continued until the day she passed over.

Watching our dogs over the years has increased my curiosity. How does the pecking order work in society, as individuals, families, our work environment,?and the wider community?

Is it always as clear to us (as it is with our animals) where we sit in our own pecking order?

I have asked thousands of my clients over many years where they are in their pecking order (what number are they out of 100?) I have found their response intriguing, to say the least.

What I have found is that there is great variation as to where people put themselves.

What this translates to is if you consider yourself at 99 then there are 98 people to be considered before you consider yourself.

Mind-blowing if you sit and think about it too much.

I have found that about 98% of my clients asked over 3 decades, where they are in their pecking order say a number from 4-99.

The people who put themselves as number one are few and far between. It is worth noting my client's age range would be 35 plus.?

I believe the pecking order is not always expressed overtly, rather it is expressed covertly, and from what I have observed we fall into line without so much as a thought as to what that may mean to us. Before you know it, you are the last person considered when picking teams, organizing family get-togethers, promotions at work the list goes on.

Have you noticed at a dog park (if dogs are your thing) how quickly the dogs sort themselves out? Before you know it the “Top Dog” is identified.

In my family it was clear that our father was the “Top Dog” He would have rated himself number one in the pecking order for sure.

I grew up with phrases like “Don’t be selfish” which I soon learned to mean I must consider others before myself.

That then translated to me often not thinking about what I wanted but rather what I was told I wanted.

One day I woke up and decided if I did not put myself first no one else would.

What a revelation that was.

I believe it is paramount that you ask yourself where you are in your pecking order, this will help you to gain clarity as to where you stand with you.

When you rate yourself as number one, you take more responsibility for yourself, your health, your mental well-being, and your life.

I start each day by asking myself “What is my intention for today” this gives me, greater clarity, more energy, more fuel in the tank, and ultimately more focus on what I can achieve on any given day.

?When I take care of myself it means I have more energy to be there for my family, my clients, and my community.

Choosing to be number one in your world may give you more self-confidence and a more balanced life.

If you feel you would gain some value from a short conversation with Mary Scott DM her.

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