What Now? After Kids and Career

Entering a new phase of life after raising children and concluding a long-term career can be both liberating and daunting. This transition, often marked by an "empty nest" and the end of full-time work, presents unique challenges and opportunities. The question "What now?" is common as men and women seek to redefine their identities, set new goals, and find renewed purpose.

In the year 1900, the average lifespan for men was 46.3 years. For women, 48.3. In ?1930, it was 58 years for men and 62 years for women. In 2020, it was 78.9 years in the United States.* Medical advancements, improved living standards and healthier lifestyles have all contributed to longevity. In this article, we'll explore key strategies to navigate the next life stage with confidence, optimism and fun!

Reflecting on Identity Beyond Roles

For many years, if you’ve been a parent, your identity may have been closely tied to your roles as you’ve raised kids. As those roles evolve or diminish, it’s natural to feel a sense of loss or uncertainty. The same principle applies for a professional career. This is a crucial time to reclaim your self-identity and explore who you are beyond those roles.

Start by reflecting on your core values, interests, and passions. What activities bring you joy? What causes resonate with you? The appendix in the book Stop Circling has an excellent chapter on core values and I provide a free Core Values download starting this process. This time of life is an opportunity to rediscover hobbies or interests that may have been set aside during the busy years of raising a family and building a career. I have a friend who put off producing his own music until he retired. Even though he had worked for a music company, he didn’t have time to pursue his own projects. But now he does. Whether it’s painting, gardening, traveling, or volunteering, now is the time to dive into pursuits that fulfill you personally.

Understanding and accepting the void that may come with this transition is also important. It’s normal to feel a sense of emptiness and change as you adjust to this new chapter. Acknowledging these feelings allows you to process them and gradually move towards embracing the opportunities that lie ahead.

Navigating the Emotional Transition

The emotional journey during this phase can be complex. The shift from a full household to an empty nest, or the end of a long-term career where you show up every day, often brings a mix of emotions. Those can include grief, relief, excitement, anxiety and even boredom. Navigating these emotions is essential to moving forward with a positive mindset.

One of the first steps is to embrace the change. Accept that this is a new chapter in your life, and it’s okay to feel a range of emotions. The emptiness you might feel with children leaving home can be profound. I remember distinctly the feeling I had the day before our oldest son was born. I really felt that I’d never be alone again, but that wasn’t totally accurate. When our last son finally moved away, there was not only a sense of relief that he was launched, but also of change. The house was so much quieter!

Also, the end of a career can be profound, even as many look forward to that day! But it’s a huge change and an opportunity to redefine what daily life looks like. Managing expectations—both your own and those of others—is crucial during this time. Society often has preconceived notions about what life should look like after a certain age or stage. But many of those notions are crushed with examples like Peggy Rowe , mother of Mike Rowe of the hit show Dirty Jobs, who put out her first best-seller book at the age of 80. Let go of these expectations and focus on what feels right for you. You are not too old! This is your journey, and it’s important to tailor it to your unique needs and desires.

Redefining Purpose and Goals

As you step into this new phase, redefining your purpose and setting new goals can provide direction and fulfillment. Without the demands of children or a career dictating your schedule, you have the freedom to pursue what truly matters to you. I have re-defined my goals at this stage of my life to give space for more travel and remote work and I help others do the same.

Consider setting fresh, meaningful goals that align with your passions. Download some of our free Goal Setting worksheets for this. Those aspirations may include pursuing lifelong learning through courses or workshops, exploring new hobbies, or even embarking on a new career path that excites you. The possibilities are endless, and the only limits are the ones you set for yourself.

Engaging in mentorship or volunteering can also be incredibly rewarding. We actually have an online course, Hero Mountain Summit , that is a mentorship-style course as the review of important life principles are important at any stage of life. Sharing your skills and experiences with others not only benefits them but also adds a sense of purpose to your life. Whether it’s mentoring younger professionals, volunteering at a local organization, or even starting your own initiative, these activities can help you stay connected and contribute meaningfully to your community. Check out the additional resources listed at the end of this article.

Building a Support Network

During this transition, having a strong support network is invaluable. Connecting with others who are in a similar stage of life can provide comfort, encouragement, and inspiration. Whether through social groups, clubs, or online communities, finding people who understand what you’re going through can make the journey smoother.

Strengthening existing relationships is also important and stimulates creativity. With more time on your hands, you can focus on deepening connections with your partner, friends, or family members. This is a great time of life and if you’ve been in a marriage relationship for any length of time, spend the time to really get to know each other at this stage of life, then enjoy. Plan regular get-togethers, trips, or simply spend quality time together. These relationships can provide a sense of stability and continuity as you navigate this new chapter.

In some cases, seeking professional guidance might be beneficial because most of us are different 20 or 30 years down the road. A coach, counselor, or therapist can offer tools and strategies to help you manage the emotional and practical aspects of this transition. They can also provide an objective perspective, helping you to clarify your goals and create a plan for achieving them.

Balancing Freedom and Structure

One of the biggest changes in this phase of life is the shift from a structured routine to having more freedom with your time. While this freedom can be exhilarating, it can also feel overwhelming. It can be easy to feel lost with no sense of a regular schedule. Striking a balance between enjoying this newfound freedom and maintaining some structure is key to staying productive and fulfilled.

Creating a new routine that incorporates activities you enjoy can help provide a sense of purpose and normalcy. Whether it’s dedicating certain days to a new business, exercise, social activities, or volunteering, having a plan can make your days more fulfilling. Don’t hesitate to get help on this.

This stage is also an ideal time to explore travel and adventure. With fewer obligations tying you down and the possibility of working remotely, you can take that dream trip, explore new places, or even try living in a different part of the world. These experiences can enrich your life and provide fresh perspectives and vitality. There are so many options available and you will start getting many messages from them as soon as you start pursuing any of them!

At the same time, maintaining your health and well-being should remain a priority. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and mental health practices like meditation or mindfulness can help you stay physically and emotionally healthy as you embrace this new chapter. We have quite a few podcasts and sources in our Halftime Success to help you with this.

Looking Forward with Optimism

As you move forward, it’s important to celebrate your past achievements and recognize how they’ve shaped who you are today. This period is not just an end, but a new beginning filled with possibilities as you answer, “What now?” It’s a decision to embrace the unknown with curiosity and an open mind and doing so can lead to exciting opportunities you may not have imagined. Keeping an open mindset of exploration and learning is extremely important at this stage of life.

Crafting a legacy is another meaningful way to approach this stage of life. Whether through creative work, establishing family traditions, or engaging in philanthropy, consider how you want to be remembered and what impact you want to leave on the world. We only need to look back at history to see how impactful some of our leaders were in this country in preserving our freedoms.

After selling his company, Tom Hand created Americana Corner in 2020 to share informative stories of the momentous events, significant documents and influential leaders that helped create and shape our country. Through compelling articles and captivating videos, he continues to give back in a creative and generous way to a cause he believes in and one that is beneficial for not only education, but also preserving the history of our country.

Application

To apply all of this, if you are still in the throes of raising children or grandchildren or some years away from ending a career, it’s not too early to think beyond the present and continue building into areas that will pay off tremendously when changes do occur. By reflecting on your identity, navigating the emotional journey, redefining your purpose, building a support network, balancing freedom and structure, and looking forward with optimism, you can successfully navigate this new chapter now or in the future and make it one of the most rewarding phases of your life.

Additional Resources

Importance of Exercise (including stretching!) with Greg and Deb

Supportive Relationships in Fostering Creativity

Online learning with personal, professional and music courses

*Lifespan statistics: https://u.demog.berkeley.edu/~andrew/1918/figure2.html

The Host

DEBORAH JOHNSON, M.A. has 25+ years working as an entertainer, composer, producer, author and speaker. Her keynote, "The Hero Inside" stirs audiences to not settle for merely playing as an accompanist to their dreams. Rather, it is to call upon everything they have inside to be soloist & center stage in pursuing & accomplishing their dreams and potential. This can include pursuing a new avenue or expanding on a current area of business, especially at mid-career or the halftime of life. Get more free downloads & links at: DJWorks . Websites: DeborahJohnsonSpeaker.com ; GoalsForYourLife.com ; DJWorksMusic.com