What is networking to you?

I suppose this is a loaded question, because I think I know what you initial response will be.

My assumption is you're itching to respond with "it's about finding new business, new clients... isn't it?" Well yes, networking can be about the brass tacks of finding that next client, but if that's your only motivation in attending a networking meeting, regardless of where and via what medium, you're really missing the majority of the point.

When I first began my networking journey, back in the enlightening spring warmth of a very early Wednesday morning in 2015, that was my presumption. I was visiting this BNI thingy at this ungodly hour with the express intention of walking out with a fistful of red hot business cards, all belonging to eager and willing future clients. How wrong I was.

Misconception

I really have to big up (as the kids say) BNI and in particular the group I visited in Bradford, West Yorkshire that day, for prising the doors of my mind apart and showing me the true light where networking is concerned. My only exposure to networking up to that point had been the excruciating cheese and wine abominations where sales hungry predators stalk the drinks table, hungrily surveying the assembled throng with an analytical eye. That laser guided, instinct driven eye which separates the weaker members of the pack from the safety of the group. How many times had I been held for hours in the death grip of these ravenous carnivores, their patient but relentlessly will crushing insistence that I should sit down with them to get a quote, complete a no-obligation survey, let them take me through an audit of my current systems...? Plenty is the answer.

So it was with some wide-eyed and slightly nervous expectation that I strode into the small, rather tatty little hotel meeting room that morning, determined to take on the role of the hunter, rather than the hunted. My resolve was strengthening.

But what a surprise. The very first words spoken to me, post sign-in and badge collection were "Hi Simon, so what do you do?" Well... talk about blindsiding! "What do I do??" I thought... "What foul, manipulative and downright machiavellian mind-games are been perpetrated here?? This wasn't in my script!!"

I can't (to my shame) remember who it was who first spoke to me that morning. It was, of course one of the fantastic group of people I chose to join as a member of that BNI chapter within the first 15 mins of stepping into the room. I spent 6 fantastic years of my business life with that group, helping to build it from the 12 members who were present when I joined (I was number 12) to the heady heights of 38 at it's peak and during that time I learned the true definition of the world 'networking'.

See the light

You see networking has, through no fault of it's own, developed a bad reputation for itself. The misconception which I steamrollered into that early morning meeting brandishing before me like a sword. Networking should never have been the quick fix, rape and pillage, smash and grab, extreme sport it has been twisted into by those without the patience or values to play fairly. Networking should be about people with like minds and common goals, coming together to help each other find their collective paths to success. To show each other the way, to share the provisions of the tribe and foster universal prosperity.

So how should networking be approached?

This isn't an article about the minutiae of good networking technique. What I'm talking about here is the broader expectations everyone should have when engaging in business networking and the ethos behind that.

1. Don't sell in a networking meeting - This is the most heinous of cardinal
2. Create a supportive environment - many people who first attend a networking event are doing so for the first time and because they've only recently set out on their own business journey. They're green as grass and terrified by the whole process, convinced they're the only one in the room to whom this isn't a natural and instinctive experience. No matter how new someone is to networking, everyone has a background in life and the connections which have inevitably accumulated as a result of simply being in the world. Everyone has the ability to give and accept support to those who need it. That's a great way of bringing people together.
3. Ask questions - Whether you're asking questions of a new acquaintance simply to understand them better or because you think they can help you or one of your existing connections, everyone likes to talk about their own business/skill set. If they're of the same mindset as you, they'll reciprocate.
4. Offer introductions - An introduction doesn't need to mean a cast iron referral. The path to opportunities is very, very, very rarely direct. The real power in networking is laying out the next lily pad on the pond of opportunity for the people you meet. Your introduction to someone who may know more of the type of people your new friend would like to speak with is simply your contribution to their journey from one side of the pond to the other. As you're listening to their story, search your mental Rollodecks for that interesting conversation they could have with a connection of yours. A great introduction that leads (eventually) to that golden opportunity will always keep you front of mind with the recipient.
5. Always tell a story - You already know that when new people give you an example of how they've helped someone through their business offering, it helps you picture what they do and who could benefit. Do the same. It can be the same story every time, no real need to mix it up when you're constantly speaking to new people. Pick your best story, your most productive and memorable case study and retell it until it's perfect. Your new connections will thank you for it, if only for the entertainment.
6. Be open to collaboration - A lot of people treat someone else in their own field as the anti-Christ. This baffles me. I acknowledge that in this era of endless pigeonholing and drilling down into the nichest of niches a job title can be very descriptive of the services on offer but not everyone approaches their profession in the same way, or (more to the point) is looking to work with the same people/companies in the same area. Everyone has their preferences, personality types and requirements in a new client. Plus, we've all had different experiences in work and life and picked up helpful tips and things to avoid that can benefit others.... there's enough of the right type of work out there for everyone, don't be protectionist, be expansionist.
7. Build your personal brand - It has to be mentioned that all the tips above will inevitably build your authority in the minds of the networking community. Those with knowledge, experience and a willingness to share what they've learned are perceived as thought leaders, even if that only begins at grassroots level. The more you talk, the more you meet, the more you share what you know with the people you meet, the more readily you're remembered and you'll feel your star rising through increased introductions and mentions through social media etc.

So, how would you answer the question "What is networking to you?" now? I like to think you'll be seeing the networking world through slightly more favourable eyes from now on.

Feel free to contribute your thoughts, I'm a very willing listener.