What Is Negotiation ?! Part #5

Hi All,

As we have had covered many details about Negotiation Skills, Strategies, Processes & Guidelines by the previous articles, Let's now continue talking in details about the strategies, that's will lead us to the Stage 2 of Negotiation,

Stage 2: Exploration

Objective:

Use a set of psychological tactics to explore the other side’s motives and learn how to respond to tactics used by them.

Having prepared for the meeting, it is time to engage in the negotiation. It is always better to negotiate in person so you can take full advantage of body language and rapports. The next step is to explore.  

The purpose of this step is to warm up the session and discover more about the other person. You also want to showcase your offer while listening to the other party's case.

1. Setting up the Atmosphere

Establish rapport to make your life easier during negotiations. Remember, no customer is interested to interact with you if you are in a bad mood. There is almost always another supplier who provides something similar. If they feel humiliated, ignored or laughed at, they will simply move to your competitor instead. This doesn’t just apply to the business world, it is a universal psychological trait.

We want to minimize pain and would avoid people or situations that make us feel bad. A teenager who can’t establish rapport with her father, who had a bad day at work, simply goes to her mum to get what she wants (assuming she can provide it).

By establishing rapport, not only you can maximize your chances of success, but you also increase the possibility of a lifelong lucrative relationship.

Start the conversation on a neutral topic. Find a topic that you can easily agree on. The emotional satisfaction of agreement, even over mundane points, can be quite powerful in making you feel more comfortable with each other.

Agree to an agenda. Go over the agenda and make sure everyone is happy with the timing and the areas under discussion. Being focused is key in negotiations, so if some party is not able to be fully present, you need to adjust the topics accordingly so sensitive parts are not interrupted or to make sure specific topics are covered.

Respect the other person and show it. Show them that you care about their life or their problems and you are here to improve both of your lives by offering your services or products. For example, you can pay a compliment about their past contributions and how it has helped you.

Make sure you have all the authority you need. Dropping out in the middle of negotiations to take instructions or advice will bring down your 'face' value and people may not take you seriously anymore.

Use the environment to your advantage. Preferably get others to come to your environment or one chosen by you so you can have more control over the environment’s features. For example, if you want to put pressure on someone, make them sit with their back to an open area. If you want them to make a decision quickly, make them sit with their back to a wall. This will make them protected and calm, so they can make quick decisions.

2. Discussion Techniques

A negotiation is much like a game of tennis. The ball enters one court, is hit by a players racket back to your side and you need to respond accordingly and the cycle is repeated.

Like a tennis player who has many options in hitting the ball, you have a number of options to respond to a negotiator. The following are a range of responses you can use:

·        Show that you understand their case, then move on to present the case with alternative options.

·        Show that you understand their case, then exaggerate the negative features against the positive features.

·        Show that you understand their case, then show the opposite view.

·        Simply ignore their case and present your own, repeating it if necessary.

·        Show that you understand their case, then morph it into another solution preferred by you

Your overall objective is to understand the stance taken by the other side and move forward to a clear statement that captures their position. Remember, first seek to understand before you seek to be understood.

As a strategy, attempt to present your stance and try to lead the conversation away from their stance. This strategy allows you to have more control over the course of the conversation. 

3. Emotional setup

Reinforce agreements. Every time you agree, bring it to surface and show that you can agree with each other. During the negotiation, you should also use recap to remind everyone that you are moving forward and that there are certain points that have already been agreed.

Demonstrate the value of your offer. Show them how your offer is valuable to them. If they don’t believe in the value of what you are offering, you will find it very difficult to move on.

Justify your position. Always backup your claims. For example, if you are asking for ￡5000 for your car, you need to back it up by evidence such as printed market prices for its class or provide evidence of other market trends.

Promise only what you can deliver. There is no point to exaggerate what you can do. You may find yourself in a situation that you actually need to carry them out. Remember, negotiations are part of making a relationship. You may get away with it once, but when others realize you can’t deliver, they are unlikely to come back to you again.

Don’t keep pressing an issue. Sometimes a negotiation variable becomes a hot topic where the parties can’t quite agree with each other. Leave this aside and focus on other aspects of the negotiation. By sorting out other issues, you may pave the way for this difficult concept. Aim for straightforward issues first. Other issues may get simpler as you move on. This may require an initiative on your side to change the direction of the negotiation before the heated debate becomes toxic. So you must be continuously aware of potential deadlocks developing.

Explain your motives. When in a negotiation, other parties may be continuously searching for your real motives every time you ask questions or suggest new options. They want to know if they are getting manipulated. You can take steps to reduce their paranoia by letting them know what you are trying to do when you ask questions or are getting deeper into exploring their needs and weaknesses. Trust is a wonderful catalyst in negotiations. 

Don't play to emotions. If you feel you are getting angry or emotional, it could be because the other party is playing a game on you to deliberately make you feel more emotional so they can take advantage of potential misjudgments by you. Don’t fall for it. Sometimes you may not be able to tell what technique they used on you, but you can always see the signs of an emotional reaction in yourself. Use self-analysis to spot the early signals and immediately take steps to contain your emotions.

4. Psychological Tactics 

The following are a number of tactics used in negotiations:

Silence treatment. A technique used in negotiations is to simply remain silent in the middle of a conversation. People don’t like the silence vacuum and rush to fill it in. The vacuum encourages others to talk which can give you invaluable information on their thoughts. When used correctly, this technique can be quite powerful as it makes the other person uncomfortable. The only downfall is that when you remain silent, you are effectively asking others to control the conversation. It may be a while before you can get back into it. In any case, this technique is particularly useful against someone who is reluctant to give any information away. 

Venting anger and emotion. This can make the other person emotional. An emotional person may leave the realm of logic which can be to your advantage. You need to be very careful with this tactic due to its long term implications. Remember, you should treat a negotiation as a game played repeatedly with others. If you develop a reputation for being difficult to deal with, not many people will negotiate with you. Equally, if others vent their anger on you, keep calm, ignore the emotional bursts and reduce the heated emotional level by your sheer coolness.

5. How to Disagree

When in negotiations, sometimes you may need to show your disagreement to the other person.

1. Beware of the Negative Effect of Saying "NO"

When the opposite party suggests an option, don’t immediately reply with a no. This will put them into a defensive mood.

Example:

Hossam: “I suggest we receive the Mark 1 prototype by the end of this month.”

Sarah: “No, we don’t have enough time for this”

In this example, Hossam will not be impressed by Sarah’s immediate response. He will become defensive and will prepare himself to retaliate. He is now even more determined to stick to his original position.

Instead, consider the following revised conversation.

Hossam: “I suggest we receive the Mark 1 prototype by the end of this month.”

Sarah: “I think that would be ideal. The only thing is that we need to see how it would affect the delivery of documentations and support materials which are an important part of the package and will take some time to produce.”

Now, Sarah sounds as if she agrees with Hossam if certain issues are resolved.

Effectively, the focus of the conversation has shifted from disagreement towards solving these issues which makes the negotiation much more efficient. In addition, Hossam won’t feel disagreed with. Instead, he will see the response as an expansion of his request or better still, an attempt to solve issues to satisfy his request. In fact he feels that his remark has been taken seriously and will be more satisfied.  

2. Deliver Your Disagreement Swiftly

If you think you need to attack the other person’s suggestions, then don’t start slowly and warm up to it. This will give the other person a chance to think of a counter argument and prepare to derail your case entirely before you can even state it. Instead, move swiftly and make them feel they have already lost the negotiation since their product or service is not up to scratch or ideal for negotiation. 

6. Body Language

Your body language is also quite critical in negotiations. There are a number of critical body language signals that you must be aware of. These are illustrated as follows. 

1. Open versus Closed Body

Gesture Description: Arms are crossed over the chest and the expression shows concern.

Meaning: Arms used as a barrier to defend against others, Feeling vulnerable, I disagree, I am not happy about this.

Used When

·        You want to disagree with others

·        You are not happy with the progress of the conversation

If you want the other person to accept your views quicker, try to keep an open body positions to show that you are open to new ideas. If you close your body he other person may take your response unconsciously as negative.

How to Break the Gesture: Give them something to hold in their hands. This could be a cup, a brochure or a freebie. This will force them to open up.

2. Crossed Arms Thumbs Up

Gesture Description: Arms are crossed across the chest and both thumbs are up. Muscles are tense as if expecting to be attacked.

Meaning: Defensive but still superior, Feeling defensive and submissive at the same time, If you see this at the end of your presentation, it means you can ask for commitment. Instead, if you get Close Body, expect resistance to your ideas.

Used When

Showing that you are confident with yourself despite entering a vulnerable situation

How to Break the Gesture

·        Offer them something to hold in their hand. Although, you don’t necessarily need to break this gesture as they have shown a positive signal which you can use to make informed decisions.

3. Hands Over Crotch

Gesture Description: Hands cover the crotch area. This is particularly common among men.

Meaning: Protecting vulnerability, Lack of confidence, Protecting the most sensitive parts while expecting an attack.

Used When

·        People are afraid of being exposed and show their fear by protecting themselves

How to Break the Gesture

·        You don’t necessarily need to break this gesture as it tells you more about what is going on in their mind

4. Covering Mouth

Gesture Description: Mouth is covered with hands or fingers. Children are more likely to cover their mouse as soon as they say something they shouldn’t have said as if to physically prevent it coming out. The same gesture applies to adults though it becomes more subtle by only partially covering the mouth. The speed of delivering this gesture becomes faster in adults as a way to reduce its obviousness.

Meaning: Covering a lie, Oops, I shouldn’t have said that

Used When

·        People want to unconsciously silence themselves especially when they are lying about something and are scared of its consequences.  

How to Break the Gesture

·        Just observe this gesture and put it in the context of what has been said to make sure you are not being deceived 

7. Responding to Psychological Tactics

When you are in a negotiation, you might be attacked verbally, intimidated or forced to accept the other party’s terms. In short, a variety of psychological tactics might be used to force you to submit to their terms. You need to be able to spot these tactics and know how to respond to them.

A number of common tactics will be presented separately along with examples, their objectives and your ideal response.

Remember,

“A good negotiator won't take NO for an answer.”

“Never forget the power of silence, that massively disconcerting pause which goes on and on and may at last induce an opponent to babble and backtrack nervously.”

- End of Part #5, Hope you enjoy it!