This is My Why. What is Yours?

Leaders ask me all the time, "How do I find my why?" In response, I decided to write a four part series around this very important question. In this article--part 1 of 4--I am going to share a bit of my personal journey to finding my why.

My Story

It is May of 2015. My wife and I are sitting on the train going home from the city when she receives an unexpected text. In the text, her close friend tells us of a little non-profit who provides a way for children from third world countries to come to the US to receive serious, often life saving surgeries that they can’t get in their home country. And because a child’s parents can’t come to the US due to immigration issues and financial strain, they need American families to host these children while they are here.

So the big question was, would we consider helping a little boy from West Africa. 

To give you a little bit of context here, my wife and I had been married 11 years at this point and were unable to have children of our own thus far. In fact, we were actually in the process of becoming foster parents, with the hope to adopt, when this opportunity came our way--an opportunity that was only supposed to be a 6-9 month commitment. 

So, after receiving a photo, more information, talking to close friends and advisors, and spending lots of time in prayer, we decided to take the plunge to help this little boy who couldn’t walk.

And so remarkably, just one month later, the previously childless couple picked up a toddler from the airport. 

I’ll never forget that first night. While he was asleep, we examined the contents of his small carry on—so carefully packed by his mother, with one outfit, a book, and a family photo. We then changed his clothes and diaper, trying in vain to keep the tears from flowing.

He was 21 months old and weighed only 16 pounds. Our world was rocked. And, frankly, we had no idea what else we were in for. 

The Journey

We had no idea that a 6-9 month commitment would somehow become a 3 year commitment. We and the non-profit had no idea the extent of his real issues, and that the pneumonia, parasites, and eczema he came with just touched the surface. We had no idea that it would take months and months for the doctors to understand his major skeletal and muscular malformations. We also had no idea how quickly and deeply we would love this little boy and his family. And we certainly had no idea that after 2 years we would discover that this non-profit didn’t have his best interest at heart at all, nor that of the other children and families in the program. In fact, we had no idea how they used these families to gain power, control, and to ultimately line their own pockets. We had no idea that we would become embroiled in a legal battle for over a year, fighting just to give this boy care that he so desperately needed and care that his family still desired.

And who could’ve foreseen how we would have to raise $100,000 to support him, care for him, and now pay for legal fees? 

The Unfortunate Turn

And lastly, we had no idea how we would be forced to send him, little Jozi, back to one of the poorest countries in the world, even when the doctors reported that he may die prematurely—I’m talking a hard, slow, progressive decline into death before his teenage years—if he does not get the care that he needs. 

Looking back, I have no idea how we were able to get through it all, until I consider God’s hand. You see, God was with us and He was busy showing us a greater why.

And that "why"--that purpose--that He places in us is extremely powerful. It will enable you to do things you thought you’d never be able to do. 

A why is not something that is just in your head but it is in your heart. A why is not simply about you; it’s about something bigger than yourself.

The Start of Something New

I didn’t connect the dots at first, but God had been busy with my why for quite some time. That’s because my story—all of our stories, really—are constantly building. 

To better understand, let me quickly take you back even further. 

One day, years earlier, I was at a conference in Los Angeles, where they happened to show a video of an orphanage full of children in Liberia, Africa. I didn’t totally understand why at the time, but I actually started weeping during the video. There was obviously something there, some kind of deeper emotional connection.

Perhaps, it was because I was born and raised in Africa myself. Perhaps it was because my DNA is African through and through, just a different type of African than you usually think of. Perhaps it had to do with my ancestors living on the continent since the mid-1700s and my family being rooted there ever since. Whatever it was, my story certainly started there in that place that I love with a people that I love and this story has been building ever since.

So even though it took a few years more and all we went through with Jozi for my why and purpose to become clearer, I soon began to understand that a why is not in your head it is in your heart. It requires listening and feeling for that strong emotion.

However, it is not as simple as just “discovering” or “finding” your why. You need to create your why. 

Simply put, if you don’t take action nothing will happen. I’ve had too many leaders in their 60s sitting in front of me saying if they just knew this in their 40s things would’ve been different. They wouldn’t have just thought about making a change they would have done something. 

You need to create your why. And you need to start somewhere. 

Taking Steps

I started with my doctor in South Africa. His mission was to give the "best of the best to the poorest of the poor." And so he developed a powerful vitamin mix that would get sprinkled over food given to hungry, malnourished children--children like Jozi. He then told me about the non-profit that he worked with to make this happen and soon introduced me to the President. 

I had to take action. So I jumped on a plane, went to South Africa, and spent 5 days with the President and his organization (Judea Harvest). 

I had no idea what was going to come from this, but I fell in love with their vision: they identified 1,300 preschools throughout South Africa filled with 65,000 children, who were in dire need. 

I remember coming back and telling my wife and my coach about it. And after a time of working out the “how” the Head to Heart Journey was born. 

The Head to Heart Journey

On this journey I take 6-8 leaders from North-America and Europe on a 10 day transformational, leadership experience to South Africa. There we are on the ground, packing food, and serving for ourselves these vulnerable children. We also combine this with my other passion—leadership development—by doing deep work on ourselves. Add in some unique, exciting experiences on safari as well as spending time at the idyllic coast of Mozambique and you have The Head to Heart Journey. Last year we raised $20,000 to help provide 750 children with nutritional food for a year. This year our goal is $40,000 to support 1,500 children. This is a program where we fuel not only ourselves but also another generation in a country close to my heart. 

This is my purpose. This is what drives me. 

How About You?

Now, some of you may really resonate with this. You too may have something external in your world that happened. You too may have a Jozi that came into your life, who ignited some flame inside of you. 

Then there are some of you that may think this is great, but you simply don’t have anything like that. 

Here’s the first thing I want to say, you can never compare your why or purpose with somebody else's. 

Each story, each life is unique. Only you grew up exactly as you did, with the family that you did, with the schooling that you did, in the place you call home. Your story isn’t a matter of how big or small it may seem, it only needs to resonate with you. It needs to connect with you in your heart and fuel the flame of who you are and what your purpose is. It needs no external motivation. And from this deep place it will in turn impact others around you.

If this hits home with you or if you are curious about developing your "why" stay tuned for the rest of this series.

Next Up: Do you really need a "why"?

Article 3: What is a "why," really?

Article 4: How do I create my "why"?

About the Author - Christo Schutte is an international executive coach and keynote speaker, who brings a wealth of experience, a passion, and a unique approach to leadership development. He is the founder of The Game Within, and is on a mission to help leaders find the balance between achievement and fulfillment. He lives in Philadelphia with his wife, Faith, and son, Blaze.

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