What are my Superpowers? How helping kids find their character strengths supports confidence and emotional growth.

As a parent of two young children, I have been consumed with a burning question at the back of my mind. How do I set my kids up to thrive in this increasingly complex and competitive world?

It could be that, after providing for a child’s basic needs, this is the next most important job of a parent. Of course, education is a critical ingredient to that end. However, providing a good education doesn’t necessarily mean a child will thrive.

I believe, and quite a bit of research would concur, that children thrive when they have the opportunity to work to their strengths. Knowing who they are, what they’re good at, and what gives them energy, is a strong foundation for future success.

The problem is that many kids don’t know their strengths. Worse, some feel they don’t have any. As human beings, we tend to compare ourselves to others. Some children feel they lack the qualities they see in others. I’ve seen my own son compare himself negatively to his classmates, and I’ve seen it in countless other children. This lack of belief in their own positive attributes and strengths of character can affect their emotional wellbeing and prevent children from realizing their full potential.

This was the inspiration to focus my second book of the Biggles series on Character Strengths. It is a simple tale of a delightful little Jack Russell called Biggles who visits his farm friends on a lovely summer’s day. He notices that Lochie the Clydesdale, Sheri the sheep and Tiddles the cat all have a special quality, or ‘superpower’ that he admires. In comparison, he feels that there is nothing special about him. The book tells a heart-warming tale of friendship and self-discovery in which Biggles learns his own unique signature strengths and finds his superpower.  This tale, along with the parent/teacher notes, invites the opportunity for gentle discussions with children that help them identify unique characteristics and strengths in themselves and in others.

What are character strengths?

Renown researcher and father of the positive psychology movement, Dr Martin Seligman, defines character strengths as positive traits reflected in thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that exist in degrees and can be measured as individual differences.

Character Strengths are different than talent-based strengths because character strengths reflect the "real" you — who you are at your core. According to extensive research conducted by Seligman and his team, every individual possesses all 24 character strengths in different degrees, giving each person a unique character profile. Their VIA (Values In Action) Survey is regarded as a central tool of positive psychology and has been used in hundreds of research studies and taken by over 5 million people in over 190 countries. The VIA survey measures 24 character strengths which fall under 6 virtues, as pictured.

The VIA Institute website has links to the VIA survey for Adults and the VIA Youth Survey for ages 10-17. They can be accessed for free from www.viacharacter.org.

There are no tests or surveys available for children younger than around 10 years of age, as they are still in a rapid phase of social and personal development. However, adults can support the development and recognition of character strengths in many simple ways.

Identifying and building signature strengths in young children

The positive psychology movement is becoming increasingly popular across the world, and schools incorporating a strengths-based approach in their learning are gaining wonderful results (Lavy, 2018). But the great news is you don’t have to be a teacher, a psychologist or an expert to support your young children to develop their strengths. Here are three simple ways you can help bring out the best in your little people.

1. Use children’s books as an opportunity to talk about character strengths. Many kid’s books have an underlying positive message or focus on a central character who displays strengths and virtues. For instance, in Biggles Finds His Superpowers, Biggles goes out of his way to get an apple for Lochie the Clydesdale and bunch of clovers for Sheri the sheep. He also defends Tiddles the cat from the mean mog who chased her up a tree. Biggles displays kindness and bravery in the book. At the end of the tale, he realizes that being a good friend is a superpower too. Being a good friend can be related to the Social Intelligence strength. As you read these stories to your children, help them recognize and link different strengths to the behaviours. For instance, you could say “Oh, that is so kind of him to do something nice for his friend!”, and “Wasn’t that brave of him to help the cat get away!”.
2. Help children self-reflect on their own character strengths. With young children (for instance, mine are 4 and 6 years old), I don’t use difficult terminology. To keep it simple and interesting for kids you can use the term ‘superpowers’. Because superpowers are fun, and they can be anything at all! When they identify the strengths of other people or the characters in their favourite books, ask them what they think is special about them. This helps them a) look for their own unique qualities, and b) understand that we’re all different. At the end of the Biggles books, the dog says “I’m not like horse or sheep or cat, but now I know what I’m good at. I’ve got superpowers too, and I bet, so do you”. This is a great opportunity to ask your kids what they think their superpower is. Let them have fun with this! My children said ‘super-speedy’ and ‘a super-huger’. I agreed, and reflected to them that yes, Ollie, you are full of zest and that gives you energy to run like the wind! And Ashy, you are kind and loving and that’s why you give great hugs!
3. Practice strengths spotting and give character strengths-based praise. Being aware of the 24 strengths makes it easier to spot them when your children display them. When you do see demonstration of strengths, give them some positive feedback that helps them link their behaviour to the strength. For instance, say things like “Look at all the colours and shapes in that picture! You have used your creativity there”; “Thank you for helping to set the table – you showed great teamwork”; “Wow, so many questions show me that curiosity is one of your superpowers!”; “When you gave your sister a cuddle when she was sad, it showed her love, and made her feel better”; “Thank you for telling me the truth. That shows me that honesty and bravery are your strengths.” Remember that everyone has all 24 strengths, and they are still developing in kids. Giving strengths-based praise not only reinforces positive behaviours, but also instills in children positive attributes that build a healthy self-concept.

How do children benefit from knowing their signature strengths? 

In a review of character strengths interventions in schools, Lavi (2018) found that there is empirical evidence that character strengths can be developed through their exercise and use, and that their development pave a path for personal thriving, by enhancing wellbeing, personal growth, engagement and performance.

"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my ship" - Louisa May Alcott

Most character strengths interventions include key elements of learning: providing a strengths language (conceptualization and understanding of the strengths); encouraging strengths spotting in oneself and others (identifying strengths displayed by characters in books, films or people in everyday life); and encouraging action (exercising strengths use in various situations).

Thanks largely to the Positive Education movement initiated by Seligman, we see schools now embracing the tools of positive psychology; wellbeing focused methodologies that aim to improve student happiness, engagement and strengths development. These schools are finding fantastic results in student behaviour, reduction of depression, increase in confidence and self-esteem, increase in academic performance, and enriched social and emotional development (Seligman et at, 2009).

Taking a strengths focus in the home and in the classroom also equips children to get through challenges and difficult times. Lisa Newland, Director of Sentis Education, says "It is so important that we encourage kids to focus on how they have drawn on their strengths in the past to overcome challenges. This process takes time and repetition can bolster their resilience in the face of adversity." (Click here to link to GROmind and Leadership programs for adults and children)

So, in conclusion, I would like to invite you to try this for yourself. Look for those opportunities to talk to your children about strengths. Spot the wonderful qualities in them, and explain to them how they display their strengths in their actions and achievements. Make them aware that they are special because of who they are, not just because of what they can do. Because when we grow up feeling we have inner superpowers we can call on, we will find a way to sail through even the roughest of waters. We are set up to flourish.

One dollar from every copy of Biggles Finds His Superpowers proudly supports Berry Street, who help children be safe, hopeful and thriving. To order a Biggles book, please go to www.bigglesbooks.org, or contact Vanessa at [email protected].