What My Sexual History Taught Me About No Longer Virtual

There are articles to write about timeless adventures, female empowerment and some of the purest teamwork ever experienced. We worked towards a common goal. This missive is about the public persona.

In general we would meet at a bar, socialize- engage in social intercourse- and there might be an after party. If it didn't happen; we still had a productive Friday night with varied conversations.

What does this have to do with a conference where everyone is married or might as well be? Plenty. Certain men walked in there with one thing on their minds. Look- it's on everyone's mind. Act like you have been there before.

The level of conversation at these get togethers was unprecedented. This is where I learned which shopping malls had the highest level of auto theft (the proximity to the highway did not help) and if you want to know how clean a restaurant is; as goes the bathroom, so goes the kitchen.

There were discussions of the adult film industry which we were a small part of. Every time a woman (somehow, it's always a woman) peer pressures others to make videos because "We want to see you on video" the videos I was in were not what one would expect.

Unless I run for office it is unlikely anyone will see them. That's fine; I lived it. Take advantage of the opportunities that come into your life. I also learned to take others at face value and listen more than I speak. Am I describing bar meets or what happens at No Longer Virtual?

Take your pick. You may not engage with everyone. You can talk to everyone. One of last year's disappointments was how many had little or nothing to say. Put that behind me. I don't recall the nights from my rich history where there was discord.

When the people in front of me aligned- there was an unprecedented level of beauty and warmth. The one dimensional men did not resonate. If they got their "One thing" they never came back. That could be appearing on a podcast. It could also be showing up to merely please yourself.

You can stay home and do that. To engage with others is to listen, communicate and find their wants and needs. Where does it lead? To better relationships. At its best; this facet of nightlife was about supporting each other and building towards something greater.

It wasn't a porno movie. No one knocked on the door and that weird music started. There was a lifestyle. It is similar to what Magic Johnson said about visiting The Playboy Mansion.

Many talked about certain highlights. There was also a nice dinner, first run movies and conversation. It was never a transaction. Build an entire life. Some won't think you are doing anything more than one act. No, you are doing a little of everything.

As school was running its course I asked why some classes were taught. Adults said they taught a wide array of classes to make students "Well rounded". Nightlife did more for my journey. You have to respect the people around you and they will treat you well. Cultivate relationships.

It might cause others to stare. Why aren't they cultivating their own relationships? Any good recollections remain with you forever. It is not only about what others can do for you. What can you do for others?