What My Dog Taught Me About the Military Transition

When I got out of the military I fell flat on my face trying to figure out what in the heck I wanted to do next. So why did I leave? It’s not because I hated what I did in the military, in fact, I loved it. I just didn’t love what the military had in store next for me. I enjoyed being around the NCOs and enlisted, but I didn’t want to go be a staff officer where someone with my personality could wither away. This is nothing against those that fill those types of roles….I just knew that whether right or wrong they weren’t for me.

So what do you do once you’ve already had your dream job in your mid-20s? I was about to find out.

My first job out of the military was into a really well-paying one back in my hometown. The company had a decent reputation of hiring Veterans and they pulled me in and I had a job lined up for a week after I was eligible to start working post-military. I looked at the job and thought, “meh, but whatever. Everyone complains their job.”

I took that job because of the pay, both short and long term. I was worried I wouldn’t have a job when I left the military so I took one of the first ones put in front of me. I let the all-to-common military transition fear influence my decision. After a few months, I was miserable. I had no purpose in the job and the hours of that job didn’t leave me a ton of time for anything else. I knew I had to get out of there but I wasn’t sure how. Then, I was given a chance and I took the shot.

When I mention that I fell flat on my face after I left the military, it’s because the drive and the passion that I once had for my career had completely evaporated. While it is not the sole requirement for being a good officer, in fact, it’s far from it, I viewed being in great physical shape as one of many tenets in being a good military officer. Always being out front meant something to me.

Each and every morning, I busted it working 60+ hours a week trying to stay in condition because that is what the Soldiers, Airmen, Sailors and Marines expect of their officers. Sure, being in shape isn’t all they care about, but it’s one of those things they notice if you’re not. There’s a lot of that in the military, as well. You’re expected to do X, Y, Z on your own time. Uniform better look good, better be shaven, better be able to run 5 miles tomorrow if I ask you to, all of that.

When I got out, that went away. No longer was anyone watching my moves out of the corner of their eye to see if I was keeping up. I was on my own. While some may think of that as being miserable, to me, it wasn’t. It was an amazing opportunity and the best job of my life.

When I left the military and after dozens of appointments with the VA, my disability rating came back so high that my state deemed it necessary to give me handicap plates on my vehicle. What was crazy to me, though, was that while I knew the physical injuries were most certainly there, I never felt them while I was serving. The bad back, sore knees, and throbbing headaches from numerous concussions: that was all blocked out by my body. Similar to an athlete with a rolled ankle about to play in the national championship, I didn’t feel the pain. My team needed me to keep pushing, so I did.

When I got out that pain hit me like a brick wall. The national championship was over and I couldn’t find anywhere else to keep playing. I let that disability percentage take-over and convince me that I couldn’t do things anymore. I believed it.

The feeling I had while wearing that uniform was incredible, and I’ll never find anything like that again. If you ask a WWII Veteran when they felt their life truly had meaning and purpose, they’ll point you back to when they were 18 serving as a private in the military. I lost that purpose and I was hell bent on getting it back.

The job I was presented a chance to interview for back then is similar to the one I currently fill: a recruiting manager with a special emphasis on getting veterans and transitioning military members hired. I had a chance to jump into the ring and fight for those who I once served with; I had finally found my next dream job.

One of my favorite things about this job? Knowing that people within my company look at me and my performance and use that as an indicator as to whether or not they should hire Veterans onto their team. Much like sales people love the pressure of deadlines and closing deals, this is the pressure that truly brings out the best in me. I love learning new skills that we weren’t taught in the military to demonstrate how quickly folks leaving the military can ramp-up their proficiencies post-military. One of the most under-reported skillsets of folks leaving the military is a major tenet of leadership: the ability to quickly learn a new concept, become an SME, teach it to others, certify them and then supervise and refine.

Once I got up-and-running in that job I was back working nearly 60 hours a week trying to get Veterans hired. I started working out again (spending more money than I should have in patriotic workout gear), waking up insanely early and everything else I did while in the military.

So what was the lesson I learned two years ago? When I started working out again I quickly realized I did not have a firm goal or score to measure against. There was no APFT to measure against or anything like that so I needed a long-term goal that would drive me forward. I decided that I would complete another marathon….only this time, I would do it with my dog Tango. I was also determined to prove to literally no one but myself that I wasn’t disabled.

People laugh at me when I tell them that my dog was the best mentor I had when it came to post-military life but it’s 100% true. I learned quickly when training with him that everyone had limits and they either don’t communicate those limits because they don’t want to be the slowest in the group, or, in Tango’s case, they cannot communicate those limits because they’re a Siberian Husky. I quickly learned that people outside of the military have different limits than those in it and that doesn’t make them better or worse, it just makes them different. All of the drive and determination in the world won't matter if you can't work with and treat non-Veterans as equals.

In the case of Tango, I learned that he could make it five miles before needing a snack and water break. He taught me how vital non-verbal cues and predictability are in the post-military life. If we were going for a run and I turned left at the end of our street, he knew that we were going on a run that would be less than five miles and we would be booking it. If we turned right at the end of my street, he knew that we’d be running a couple of hours and it dictated his pace. He watched how many waters and snacks I put in my backpack before we ran and could figure out that more water and snacks meant a longer run. Little things like non-verbal communication can make-or-break someone’s post-military career and getting the little things like presence, tone and demeanor right is one of the most important lessons one can learn post-military.

There was an insane amount of trial and error and I couldn’t just order him to “figure it out, guy.” I learned very quickly that so much of success outside of the military is actually dictated by how you say something as opposed to what you say.

Most importantly, Tango taught me about having a goal and pushing to achieve it. Stretching Tango’s legs out to 26.2 miles when on day 1 he could only make it about a ? mile took time and effort. I couldn’t flip a switch and get him there. Similar to the preparation in the military of a deployment to the Middle East or to a joint training center, I had to create benchmarks of where I wanted him to be each month with the long-term goal of peaking during Christmas Break of 2016.

When we were finally able to cross that finish line after 9+ months of training the feeling of accomplishment was one that I haven’t felt in years.

The message of this article? The biggest thing I would encourage Veterans to do is self-reflect on what matters to them and what they want to do when they leave the military then set incremental benchmarks. Further, recognize that so much of the military transition has nothing to do with where you work or what it pays. Focus on finding a good job, sure, but focus even more on finding your next purpose. Create new goals for yourself and take ownership of your life. It doesn’t matter how much money a job pays or where it ranks on the best places to work. If a job and the lifestyle it provides you doesn’t give you a feeling of fulfillment you’ll find yourself back on the job-market in a very short period of time. Complete the total-body transition and not just the workplace transition. You’ll thank yourself for it later.