Leza Parker: What my children made of me?

Each day I learn something new from my very own children. As innocent as they look, they taught me so much about life, and more importantly about myself. They 'rob' my freedom to live a carefree life, but replace it with freedom to live a much fulfilling life. I have learnt to understand that motherhood, is one of the most amazing phases because it made me see situations from a way different perspective. And for the many times, I would have easily given up for myself - I didn't because my children inspired me never to.

My first son never really made it to live a life. To lose a child through stillbirth, when I was only 21 was one of the most painful experiences I still carry with me. I nearly gave up on life when I succumbed to suicidal depression, after that loss. It occured to me then, how a child I have yet to know, could remove every possible reason I can think of to continue living. I suddenly fall into this cube of darkness, and I did not even want to be rescued. I just want to hibernate.

That experience taught me how important life is. It could be taken away so quickly, and along with it, all the happiness you had thought exist in your world. And that if we don't appreciate life, then we do not deserve life. People we love, will eventually leave and that we need to learn to love them while they are still living. Because death can come anytime, to anyone at any age.

My first son, Elman Phoenix Parker taught me death.

My second son came along, several months later when I was still grieving. And the day I found out I was pregnant with him, depression suddenly became a foreign feeling. I was joyous, and realised how much I miss being happy. How much I miss life, doing what I love doing, going places I want to go. I felt those months of darkness that felt like a thousand years is now well lighted again. I found myself and the most important outcome was I (re)found a thousand reasons now worth living for.

My second son, Daniel Irfan Parker taught me life.

My family was poor. When I had my daughter, Paul was hardly bringing home much income. We could not save enough to even buy our first home. And was living in rental rooms and apartments. I was at a lost, to how I can ever crawl my way out of this poverty. It was long, painful and tiring. I was tired of not being able to afford anything, and I was nearing giving up in hope to change my income. I cannot go out to work, because I had children and the only way I could survive and feed children, is starting my own business at home. My daughter, gave me the inspiration to start my first company from home - making hair accessories out of ribbons to beautify her. What started so simple, became a company producing for 54 department stores in 9 countries within 2 years. And with that, I bought my first house.

My daughter, Desarae Ilana Parker taught me to be financially independent.

I became greedy and ambitious, and wanted to grow companies. That I was dreading and was negative about being pregnant with my last son. I was ignorant about taking care of myself, and was only concern about earning more with my business to be as financially stable as I can. But when my son was born, he had severe jaundice (at dangerous levels) for two weeks. And we did not get to bring him home. Each day I stood outside his nursery crying while he cried under the photo light, and I realised how powerless I am despite the success or monies I now have - to heal my own son. I spent 18 hours a day at the hospital, each day leaving for home only at 3 am and back by 7 am. Every three hours, they called me in to breastfeed him for 20 minutes before they took him away from me again. At that time, I was not interested in work, was absent for meetings and refused to take any work calls. I nearly lost my sanity because I felt so guilty for not understanding earlier how success means nothing, if I cannot buy health to keep my son safe.

My last son, Daemien Iden Parker, taught me what money cannot buy.

You be surprised how much you learnt about life, through your children. They did not realise they were teaching you, but their presence changed your life in more ways than one. I nearly died, and my son saved me. I was poor for years, until my daughter gave me ideas to make money. I was too selfish, until my son taught me how much my monies don't matter.

And I became this entirely new person. I became more compassionate, non-materialistic, and sensible. I became more humble, the more successful I become. I made sure I was giving through social initiatives, and never forsake my time with my children to chase materials. I was particular with how I behave, and my character to educate and lead my children the right way. I became responsible despite being ambitious, and life became heaven on earth.

And just when you thought you know everything, there is still so much you don't. And you don't have to look far for a teacher to coach you about life, the best teachers are among your very own.

Hi I am Leza Parker. Aged 32, I have three children. I started a business from home some six years ago and currently the CEO of SC Beauty Network that operates in six countries with over 350 full time and contractual employees. I am also an angel investor having invested in small start ups in the baking, education, training, beauty and fashion industries. I have over 100,000 accumulative followers on social media and am dedicated to inspire thousands more through my Twitter, Instagram, Youtube and Facebook channels. I have published several books, appear in numerous media articles and I lecture in several universities to educate future entrepreneurs local and overseas. Two of my start ups are VC-funded and have expanded globally since.

Read story of how my daughter inspired me to start my first business here.

Read story of my struggle building companies here.