What Motherhood taught me about Leading in Crisis

I am writing these lines on International Mother’s Day 2020. This day is usually an opportunity for a family celebration, but this year it is also an opportunity for reflection.

As more and more countries in our region are overcoming slowly the pandemic crisis, mothers and particularly working mothers have been over the past 2 months overwhelmed by trying to manage work from home, household and family tasks.

Women were already burdened with unpaid work even before the crisis, as in most countries they are responsible for the majority of domestic and childcare work. However, recent surveys by Lean In org and Survey Monkey in the US show that the pandemic is creating a lot of anxiety and stress as women now need to take care of home schooling as well.

It is also discussed that the pandemic will impact family decisions in such ways that more women will be “forced” to leave their jobs because they are considered more flexible or less important.

I have a lot of respect and admiration for the mothers out there who are leading homes and families through this and other crises. And I decided to share some inspiration on true leadership capabilities that mothers demonstrate every day. These qualities is what today’s leaders need to navigate through uncertainty and uncharted waters.

This is not to say that fathers don’t embody some or all of these qualities or to suggest that it is necessary for women to be mothers to become effective leaders. Rather, it is simply an acknowledgement of the role of motherhood and the significance of the traits mothers exhibit universally as it pertains to leadership.

Here's a few thoughts:

Calmness

As a mother, you are handling crises every day. Either small or big, loud or quiet, funny or serious, a mother is expected to be calm and to help the family overcome them. A crisis can be something insignificant, like a children’s fight for the toys, or milk spilt on the floor. It can also be something important, like a kid getting sick, or a dream that did not come true. In any case, a mother is expected to be calm and in continuous self-control. As a mother, you don’t panic. Panic is contagious. Children are looking towards their mothers to get comfort from, they observe their reactions, they are noticing their temper, they are trying to deduct anxiety or concern. And mothers have learnt how to manage their emotions and how to calmly take action to resolve both small and important problems. 

Similarly, in the business environment, leaders need to stay calm in order to be able to have better judgement, to make proper decisions, to take bold actions. They will have to resolve conflicts that usually increase during times of uncertainty and anxiety. They will have to control their emotions and take ownership of the actions to lead the team through the crisis and overcome the challenges from it.

Optimism

Optimism is contagious too. It is mothers who empower children to boldly go after their dreams – whether it’s their first shaky steps or their bolder ambitions in life, mothers are there to infuse optimism, to build their confidence, to celebrate the small wins, to create hope for the future. It is also mothers who raise the bar, who are encouraging their children to go beyond their comfort zone, who are inspiring them to aspire for more!

Leaders too need to be optimistic during crisis times. How can someone lead their team to overcome a challenging situation if they do not believe in this themselves? Optimism is a key characteristic of successful leaders particularly in challenging times. To be optimistic does not mean someone is frivolous or shallow. It means that even in challenging situations, they have confidence that there are things in their control, things they can change or influence. By focusing on what things they can change and on what objectives they can achieve based on their experience, knowledge and skills individually and collectively as a team, makes them feel stronger, more creative, and more optimistic.

Unselfishness

Mothers are supporting their children without any individualistic motivation. There are many tales and proverbs around a mother’s selfless love. It’s not themselves that matter, it’s mostly about their children’s wellbeing. It’s about the values of love, of family, of parenthood. It’s about serving others. Mothers are the epitome of servant leadership!

Leaders, who want to serve first, need to put core values as a priority during a crisis. Overcoming the tough situations is not about them, it’s about a higher purpose, the purpose that their organization will be called to serve. While their teams will be engaged into the daily activities, their role is to inspire them about how their company is addressing pressing problems, providing solutions, impacting customers, communities, societies.

Resilience

The resilience of mothers never ceases to inspire me; even in the most difficult circumstances, mothers push through obstacles to help their children deal with bullying at school, teenage offenses or other life dangers. It is also mothers that pick them up when they fall, inspire them to keep going after failure, to persist, to never give up.

Similarly, resilience is so important when leading through crisis. In unchartered waters, it can happen that strategies will not work, action plans will fail, targets will not be achieved. It takes a resilient leader to not be despaired by failure, but to embrace a learning mindset, to try different approaches, to persist and keep going.

Adaptability

I have discussed several times the importance of adaptability. And mothers do demonstrate a lot of this quality. They have to adjust their approach all the time; they deal with pain, despair, joy, hope and many more feelings several times within the day. They have to adapt their communication style and their approach all the time. To be listened to and be heard, to comfort, to support, to inspire.

Leaders as well need to be able to adapt to constant changes. In challenging times, leaders need to be ready to learn new things, to understand new paradigms, to develop new business models, to try new approaches, to navigate a dynamic, ever changing environment. Adaptability is becoming a key leadership quality for today and the future – it is not about IQ anymore, it is not only about EQ, it is about the new quotient, the Adaptability Quotient (AQ) that reflects the ability to adjust course, product, service, and strategy in response to unanticipated changes in the market.

Growth

Throughout our life, it’s our mothers that helped us grow. They are our unquestioned role models. It’s them who held our hands when taking these tough first steps, it’s them who helped us with our homework while at school, it’s them who taught us to draw, it’s them who encouraged us during those sports events. It’s our mothers who coached us during our life’s struggles, big or small. And during the pandemic, it’s mothers who are helping their kids with home schooling activities.

Leaders too need to support growth and development for their teams. It’s their encouragement and inspiration that will help their teams grow. Such leaders model an example for their teams; they practice growth mindset to support their teams with  a framework on how to approach problems and learn from them, they coach consistently and create a space where employees can learn from their mistakes, and they emphasize their potential to grow and learn.

Empathy

Mothers are role models of empathy. They are there to listen, to understand, to offer compassion and support, to comfort. They are the ones we will turn to when in trouble, they are the ones who will share our fears or frustration, they are the ones who demonstrate understanding and whole hearted support.

Leading with empathy is critical in challenging times. Leaders need to be conscious of the different circumstances that their team members are faced with, to listen to their problems, to show understanding, to demonstrate compassion. Empathy is such an important human skill that distinguishes best leaders from good ones. 

“Perhaps it takes courage to raise children” – John Steinbeck, East of Eden

To all moms out there, who are dealing with this crisis at work and at home with calmness, optimism, unselfishness, resilience, adaptability, growth and empathy: you have more COURAGE than you think! Be proud, be strong, be YOU!

Happy Mothers’ Day!