What is the most effective way for two married individuals to raise their children? Is it better for them to live together or separately?
Shahinul Khalisdar
Tax Advisor | Business Advisor/ Taxation Expertise/ Enrolled Agent (EA)/Master of Science in Taxation (MST)/ Author
What is the most effective way for two married individuals to raise their children? Is it better for them to live together or separately as co-parents? Why?
Understanding the development of human life involves recognizing that it is a gradual process encompassing both biological and intellectual growth. Within the framework of Islamic doctrine, there is an emphasis on the age at which children should begin their learning and training. According to a hadith, the Messenger of Allah (?) instructed that children should be commanded to pray at the age of seven, and if they do not comply, they may be disciplined at ten years old. Additionally, it is suggested that children should have separate sleeping arrangements by this age. This framework implies that parents or guardians have a role in teaching children about moral concepts and the importance of meeting basic needs starting at the age of seven.
The optimal age for learning is undoubtedly early childhood, particularly from birth to age 5. During this critical period, the brain experiences rapid development and establishes essential connections, making it exceptionally receptive to new information and experiences. While early childhood lays the foundation for effective learning, it is important to note that the ability to learn continues throughout life, with unique cognitive strengths emerging at different stages.
Children can learn from anyone, not just from their parents or teachers. However, social behavioral research generally shows that children raised by two parents tend to perform better academically and socially compared to those raised by a single parent. Having both parents typically provides a more stable environment, diverse perspectives, and stronger support systems for a child's development.
It is important to understand that marriages were primarily conducted by two groups: religious people and the nobility, who valued pure lineage. In contrast, commoners typically chose to "live together" with whom they wished, which the noble class referred to as "common law marriage." In contemporary society, nearly all marriages are recognized as legal marriages, providing legal benefits. However, most legal jurisdictions still accept "religious marriage" as a valid form of marriage. ??
When examining the social lifestyles of commoners compared to those of the noble class and religious individuals, the differences are striking. Commoners often lack a true understanding of social respect, while those in the noble and religious classes place a high importance on social etiquette and family values. It’s not merely about parents living together or separately; it’s about comprehending the fundamental values that underpin a family. This distinction clearly addresses the inquiries at hand.