What Moms Can Teach Us

By: Patrick T. Walsh, Associate Director of Athletic Communications, Little Rock Athletics

The things we learn from our parents. We learn what is right and wrong; they teach us what to do in certain situations and how to treat others with respect and many, many other things. For Theresa Kurtz, the last lesson her mother taught her would end up saving Theresa’s life, even if it was a lesson too late to save her own.

As we embark on the start of spring sports season and as wintry snow and rain fades to sunshine, it is a lesson all of us in collegiate athletics should keep in mind. Mary Kurtz, Theresa’s mother, would have insisted upon it.

Currently the assistant director of communications at the Mountain West Conference, Theresa was in her first year as associate strategic communications director at the University of Kansas back in 2014 when she made a standard summer trip home. She was nearing the conclusion of that stressful first year in a new job and now was the chance to rest and rejuvenate before heading into her second year.

Prior to arriving home, Theresa had found out that her mother hadn’t been feeling well but it wasn’t prohibitive to the point of enjoying activities with her eldest daughter. Family gatherings, baby showers, wedding receptions and general mother-daughter time was exciting and fun, but Mary’s condition slowly deteriorated. She couldn’t eat or sleep.

Vacation came to an abrupt halt for Theresa as multiple trips to the ER yielded a diagnosis that involved the word that no one ever hopes to hear – cancer. Mary had Stage IV cancer; more specifically, melanoma.

The most serious type of skin cancer, melanoma is a form of cancer that develops in the skin. While the exact cause of all melanomas isn’t clear, the exposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation from sunlight or tanning lamps and beds increases your risk of developing melanoma. And while a change in an existing mole or development of new moles can be the first signs of melanoma, it doesn’t always begin as a mole and can occur on otherwise normal-appearing skin.

In fact, melanoma risk is increased if you have fair skin, have excessive UV light exposure (such as working a lot of outdoor events) or if you have a family history of melanoma. Theresa, the ginger-haired version of her mom, was the embodiment of an at-risk person.

Truly an SID at heart, Theresa went into “gameday mode” and instantly began planning out how to handle all the details, large and small. Radiation and chemo treatments immediately began for Mary, but it wasn’t long before they were halted. The cancer had metastasized in her brain, liver and in many of her bones. It had done so because the melanoma went undetected for seven years, quietly growing and spreading until it was too late.

Theresa returned to Kansas and continued to be the planner and handler for many of the details from two time zones away, while using the upcoming school year to distract her from the emotion of it all. Another trip home resulted in Theresa guiding her mother through end-of-life decisions, including upcoming hospice care options.

“In a matter of three weeks, we went from she’s fine to what treatment to proceed with to what she wanted to do for her end-of-life care. Throughout it all, I knew she had a lot to be scared, nervous and worried about. I just tried to stay calm and be the voice of reason,” Theresa recalled.

Her next trip back to Lawrence lasted only a week before Labor Day weekend arrived along with the call came to hurry back. She got on a flight the next morning and headed home. An hour after Theresa reached the hospice center where her mom had spent less than a week, Mary closed her eyes one final time with her loving daughter by her side, both of them not yet realizing the precious lesson Theresa would learn.

“From the time she was diagnosed, I had just one more month with her laugh, her smile and her humor,” Theresa said. “After that, it was all a whirlwind.”

Fast forward to October and life for Theresa embodied that whirlwind. She had delivered the eulogy at her mother’s funeral, dealt with the affairs of her mother’s estate and had to finish a women’s basketball media guide as the season was quickly approaching. There was no time for wallowing in grief.

“I don’t think I processed all of it then,” Theresa explained. “I used that as an excuse to keep me busy and keep my mind on something productive.”

The basketball guide, and other preseason tasks, provided a welcome and necessary distraction. In case you didn’t realize, they take basketball pretty seriously in Lawrence, Kansas.

But during that time Theresa could almost hear her mother telling her to get herself checked.

“I could hear my mother’s voice in my head saying, ‘Theresa, you have pretty red hair and fair skin. You need to see the dermatologist at least once a year.’ This time I didn’t ignore her warnings and the dermatologist was the first appointment I made,” recalled Theresa.

When you go in for a dermatologist appointment, the doctor has a nurse circle suspicious spots or moles. While it all depends on your skin type, a handful of moles will be circled and biopsies will take place. In that initial dermatologist visit, Theresa had 28 moles circled.

Most of the biopsies resulted in benign results and the moles were just a result of a fair-skinned redhead whose skin type also yields plenty of freckles. But three came back more abnormal and further testing was required.

It is a heart-breaking thing to hear someone you love has the word cancer, but the moment turns surreal when the word is said about you.

“I very vividly recall the moment the doctor uttered the word cancer to my mother but when that word was used to describe my diagnosis, I have no recollection,” explained Theresa. “I remember I was at work and I remember hearing the word cancer, but that’s it. I don’t remember anything else other than crying a lot and being scared to make phone calls with the same exact news to the same exact people I had done just a few months ago from my mom’s diagnosis.”

Just a few short months after melanoma claimed the life of her mother, Theresa found herself in a battle with the same disease. As the diagnosis set in, she tried to recall what the doctor had said. Initially, Theresa thought she heard “Stage II” but it was actually “Stage 0.” Already a positive first step in her upcoming battle.

A major surgery was scheduled, one that would keep Theresa in a sling for over two weeks. Three more minor surgeries would take place over the next two years. 

Theresa was declared cancer-free on January 9, 2015. Just like that it was gone. The cancer was gone, the margins were cleared and Theresa was all better. This past December, Theresa celebrated five years of being cancer free.

All because of Mary’s last life lesson that she imparted upon her daughter – get checked often. Your skin tone and job require it. Because of that lesson, Theresa continues to thrive in life.

The battle is over but the war rages on. Theresa says she has “taken back the power” and continues to regularly get checked. In the last two and a half years, she has had nearly 60 biopsies, all of which have been benign. That’s nearly 60 small battles won in her war. Some result in scars, but they don’t deter Theresa in her on-going war.

“Every scar that I have, no matter the size, is a reminder that I am stronger than what tried to harm me,” she explains.

Battle-tested and ready for the next fight, should it come along, Theresa now tries to teach that life lesson, so impactfully taught to her by her mother, to all that will listen.

What a lesson it was. A lesson that preserved her life. And a lesson that might save yours.

MELANOMA

Information courtesy the Mayo Clinic

 

Risk Factors

·      Fair skin

·      History of sunburn

·      Excessive ultraviolet (UV) light exposure

·      Living closer to the equator or at a higher elevation

·      Having many moles or unusual moles

·      Family history of melanoma

·      Weakened immune system

 

Prevention

·      You can reduce your risk of melanoma and other types of skin cancer if you:

·      Avoid the sun during the middle of the day

·      Wear sunscreen year-round

·      Wear protective clothing

·      Avoid tanning lamps and beds

·      Become familiar with your skin so that you’ll notice changes