What Mental Health Means To Me

As we conclude Mental Health Awareness Month, I have taken much stock in my recent evaluations of my mental health. If you know me, rumination is my default setting, so this shouldn't surprise anyone, but here are the conclusions I have come to. Like anything in mental health, they aren't the end of the thoughts but more of the beginnings.

Mental health has been something I have struggled with for a long time, but something I haven't started talking about until the past few years. Some of that is because I am a father now, and I want my kids to understand that they can and should always be open about their mental health. But it's also because I have reached a point where if I can't be real, then what's the point??

For most of my professional career, I have worked in roles where my focus was wholly on who I was working for. It made me good at my job and committed to being as good as possible at achieving success for them, but I left one big thing out of the equation–ME. I was burnt out, stressed out, and overall a worse person. And that had a negative effect on my life and relationships. I had to own the fact that I needed to be a better person, which meant taking a focused approach to getting the help I needed, including exploring how to change my work environments. It's neither easy nor fun nor a one-shot, one-result action.?

I have also had to try to distance myself from some of the topics and discussions I once loved (read: POLITICS) for the sake of my mental health so that I am not unnecessarily worrying about existential challenges. It's like breaking an addiction. But comprehending the serenity prayer to "...accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" is one of the more important things I've tried to include in my daily regimen. Yes, I know doing this in an election year seems like trying to roll a boulder up Mount Everest, but it is necessary to stay some degree of sane.

So, what have I done to address either of these or set myself up for progress?

First and foremost, I own my challenges and talk them out (sometimes, honestly, too much). I have engaged professionals who can provide me with realistic structures to make progress. I have and continue to recognize that I need help to be successful, and I regularly encourage folks to do the same.

Second, I attempt to provide myself grace. Mental health is not like a cold, where some rest, Vitamin C, and some NyQuil will help resolve it, so things must be addressed regularly and proactively. It isn't easy, but it's necessary, and you must provide yourself with grace so as not to put unnecessary pressure on what can be a long-term process.

Finally, never question if you should reach out to talk to someone about what you are going through. Too many people let things build without support, and I know the issues that arise from that all too well. My DMs are always open on LinkedIn, and my email is included in my contact information.

“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.” — Fred Rogers